To expect my children back from my ex when he says they will be back?

[Powergirl]

Hi all, first post here, am besides my self with grief at the moment, I don't know if I've done the right thing or not. To cut a long story short, my two boys go to their dads every other weekend (and a couple of days in the week for a few hours), they go Friday after school and return Sunday at 8. Lately the ex has had a habit of not letting me know and keeping them until Monday morning, cue lots of stressful Sunday nights for me. He's started to have the decency to let me know recently, but last Friday we agreed that the boys would be back on Sunday evening.

I received a text message today at 3pmish saying he was having the boys overnight again and he would drop them off at 7am (I start work at 8), I rang he up telling him I would pick them up, but eventually reluctantly gave in and agreed they could stay overnight. After reflecting on things I decided I wanted my boys home tonight as we agreed in the first place, as I would be in a huge rush to get them dressed and ready for school, one to breakfast club, the older to his friends house where he walks to secondary school from, and still get to work on time. I phoned to say this and got his new partner at my door, telling me what a b I am, and generally being abusive. I had to literally go to their front door and beg for my children back, as they locked the doors and closed the curtains. I got to talk to dad and said, please just ask the kids if they want to come home.

The boys are now home with me, but I've been really shaken by the whole ordeal, very upset, and can't stop thinking Have I been unreasonable?

He sounds like a controlling arse. Can you get to court to get it set in stone?

he was probably pissed off cos you said no then yes then no again , no need for the new partner to get involved, would of told her to piss right off , make firm arrangements and stick with them, sounds like a good idea they are at their/your home sunday night to get ready for school for monday.

Next time the new partner lands at your door phone the police. You have every right not to be intimated in your own home. If you would rather reach agreement with your ex (as opposed to going to court ) could you voluntarily suggest that he keeps the DC from Sunday - Monday EOW, and then atleast you would know and it would mean that hand over would be done through the school? It seems like rewarding bad beahaviour mind you but it would relieve a lot of stress. You have my symapathies OP, tough situation

Whilst I can completely understand why you chopped and changed, your ex has proved that he does not deserve the chance to alter the arrangements at the last minute so you need to stand firm in the face of any requests in the future and ensure that you always stick to the agreement you have in place. He doesn't deserve the flexibility you have offered him in the past and he has demonstrated that he isn't interested in what's best for your kids by allowing his girlfriend to get involved and cause a scene. Keep things civil but as formal as possible, keep contact arrangements in writing (even text or e-mail is better than a phone conversation) and start keeping a record of the contact you have with him. It might even be worth sending him an e-mail telling him that you didn't appreciate his girlfriend's intervention as that way there is a record of what has happened and you have made your feelings clear.