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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by my baby ds getting "school reports" and "homework"

26 replies

mimmum · 15/09/2013 18:46

My ds is 16 months old and at daycare when I work 3 days a work. He is my youngest and my baby so perhaps that is coloring my thinking. A couple of things have been annoying me, firstly I get little reports about him for example "ds is showing an interest in balls practice playing balls at home to develop this". Don't get me wrong if he feels like playing with balls at any particular time we will, but I'm led completely by him. Another example "ds is beginning to say some words eg ball, mummy, cup, now he needs to work on expanding his vocabulary." I mean really he'll say more when he's ready surely? It's a a natural process?

Also he was "rated" level 3 and 4 for language and emotional development. I don't even know or want to know what this means. Aibu to believe he will develop in his own way and in his own time? Fwiw he seems to be hitting all his milestones but I really don't get to excited by it all.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 15/09/2013 18:46

Blame Ofsted.

Sirzy · 15/09/2013 18:48

That would piss me off to, I understand that they have to observe the children (the level of which is over the top in the first place) but that takes it to a whole new level and sounds very pushy

YouTheCat · 15/09/2013 18:48

It's probably some utterly insane OFSTED directive.

Just ignore it and carry on as usual.

AlannaPartridge · 15/09/2013 18:48

Yes - it's Ofsted. I think nurseries have to do that these days. Ludicrous.

DinoSnores · 15/09/2013 18:50

It comes from Ofsted. They have to assess the children and set them goals. For example, one of my 3yo son's goals is "to put on coat independently". I don't see it as pushy, I don't worry about it all and just let him develop in his own way.

catgirl1976 · 15/09/2013 18:51

I really like that from nursery Blush

I love reading about what he has been doing. We write back in our diaries so the nursery can talk to them about what they have been doing and also we can say "xx is really enjoying doing yy at the moment" and nursery can pick up on that when he is there

They put photos in and he has a parents evening every few months where we talk about his development and milestones etc

I love it Blush

CunfuddledAlways · 15/09/2013 18:51

all nursery's do this now!! I guess if you where a first time parent though some of the things might be useful
if love reading how my 2 year old is getting on at preschool as I'm not their to see it.

TrueStory · 15/09/2013 18:51

Agree this is so ridiculous, but such daft stupidity on a new level is unfortunately fairly mainstream now. I had it with my son at that age. It goes with the thinking that certain people are now experts on training children for some reason. Plus we must all have "targets" otherwise life is obviously not worth living (for its own sake). I actually think if people who write these daft reports spent more time "playing" with the children than telling parents what "skills" they should "develop" at home, we'd all be better off.

Grrr... but what can you do?

Sirzy · 15/09/2013 18:52

The nursery DS went to until last month never set any sort of "homework". Setting targets for them to work on in nursery is normal but pushing parents to play ball games at home or other things is over the top IMO.

Fraggle3112 · 15/09/2013 18:54

I get daily reports from nursery on 9mo DS, I think it's standard practice and aims to inform parents of activities taken part in as a baby can't tell you about their day.

Ds's normally says 'baby fraggle enjoyed leaving a trail of destruction around exploring the baby room, he also enjoys terrorising playing with the tortoise.' Sometimes they make suggestions on things we could do at home too. I find it really helpful.

I think you are probably reading too much into it and a lot of nurseries will do a similar thing.

DIYapprentice · 15/09/2013 18:55

Homework is NOT an OFSTED directive. It is them being pretentious and over the top, or being kind, misinterpreting an OFSTED directive.

But yes, they do have to note their advancement in all areas of development. Level 3 and 4 is not how good they are, but whether they've attained certain markers which indicate a level. They SHOULD be providing you with observations which show how they have show their levels.

Original poster
mimmum · 15/09/2013 18:55

I love getting photos hearing what he's been up to, but being told he needs to work on expanding his vocabulary or another example told he should practice pushing cars around one weekend annoyed me no end. The weekend we were told he needed to push the toy cars around ds decided he had completely different interests ad didn't want o go near toy cars. As for giving my gorgeous loving baby a level for his emotional development grrr!

OP posts:
Editededition · 15/09/2013 18:58

if people who write these daft reports spent more time "playing" with the children than telling parents what "skills" they should "develop" at home, we'd all be better off

YY 16 month old babies just need to be babies, play - and be loved.

TrueStory · 15/09/2013 18:59

homework is setting targets and activities at home, so in effect poor mimmum is getting homework for her baby. totally arrogant as well as bloody stupid.

being told what your baby is up to and enjoying is quite different from getting targets set for home "development".

Unless, there are some special needs issues that need addressing, really the nusery workers should just let the 16 month old babies play, surely Confused?

Original poster
mimmum · 15/09/2013 19:01

Yes exactly I want him to be loved, have fun, develop at his own rate not be rated and assessed so young.

OP posts:
Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 15/09/2013 19:01

The directive is not from OFSTED, but from the Early Years Foundation Stage, which is the statutory curriculum for children in Reception down to birth.

The EYFS states that early years practitioners have to support children's learning at home. That is often interpreted to mean sending home "homework". It is not a requirement that this be done but OFSTED will want to see evidence that practitioners are working with parents.

It is a pain in the arse.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 15/09/2013 19:02

Seriously? Reports for babies. I get expressing concerns but the rest is ridiculous. They should be playing with them not studying and recording them.

hettienne · 15/09/2013 19:05

The EYFS and Ofsted like to see nurseries working in partnership with parents, but it doesn't mean that the nursery needs to set homework or tell you what to do at home.

I don't understand what the level 3 or 4 thing means either and I work in early years!

MrsOakenshield · 15/09/2013 19:06

DD's Ofsted-outstanding-rated nursery (about 2 months ago) doesn't do this. All I get at the end of the day is what she ate for lunch and tea and (back when she napped) if she'd had a nap. I would like a touch more feedback but not to this rather bizarre degree - after all, if staff are writing all this up, that's less time they are spending with the children, surely? She does have a folder where certain activities are recorded and photo'd, which about once a year when we remember it exists we take home for a peruse, and twice-yearly parent evenings.

I think it's not unusual, what you are saying, but I'm glad DD's nursery don't do this.

FredFredGeorge · 15/09/2013 19:07

Can't you just tell the nursery to stuff it? You're presumably paying quite handsomely for the service tell them to stop!

fackinell · 15/09/2013 19:07

Yes, these are Ofsted observation reports I think you're getting. I had to do two a wk, per child, as a CM. it's not homework per say, but we had to show how this could be enhanced and progressed.

I thought they were pretty pointless too, along with keeping a register. I told my Officer that if I didn't know how many kids I had in my care at any time them I shouldn't be a CM. apparently it's a Safeguarding issue.

moogy1a · 15/09/2013 19:26

I'm a childminder and have to do this bollocks. I do as little as possible and explain to parents that I need to do it as OFSTED like to see written evidence of "progression". I give parents as much or as little written stuff as they like.
All my parents without exception say they aren't interested in the written reports/ obs. / assessments but happily write the odd line dictated by me so I can show "working in partnership with parents" Grin.
Personally, I fail to see how it improves on my chat that I have with the parents every day at pick up, but hey ho.

BeeWi · 15/09/2013 19:27

Feedback is nice, keeps parents informed, but saying what a child 'should' be 'working on' is horrible. Can't we just let babies develop at their own rate, without allowing them to pick up our attitude that where they are at that point in their development isn't good enough?

I wish Ofsted would read some Magda Gerber or Pikler.

Crowler · 15/09/2013 19:28

Madness.

Original poster
mimmum · 15/09/2013 19:35

Oh we'll at least it's not just me that finds this overbearing and inappropriate. I try not to pay too much attention and I'm glad he's my 3rd, I was so insecure with my first I would totally have taken it to heart and would have been sincerely practising ball skills, car pushing skills and be drilling him in new vocabulary! Lucky for him really!

OP posts: