To send ds with a packed lunch and not care what school say?

[Pandorassox]

At ds school you can only take packed lunch for a whole week or have a school lunch for a whole week.
There are some days in which ds (age 4) will not eat any of the options e.g Bombay curry with basmati rice or the vegetarian option of ratatouille and cous cous.
He does however love the rest of the week and there are plenty options to choose from.
So am I being unreasonable to go against the rules and send him with a packed lunch on the day where he won't eat anything?

If that's the rules, that's the rules!

Either tell him to eat if he's hungry (assuming he's not allergic/intolerant to the choices), or take packed lunches all week.

I think your solution is fine Pandorassox - how will they know he's got sarnies anyway? As long as you're still paying for the School Meal it's up to you TBH.

If you still pay for the meal he doesn't have, then it's up to you. Have to say though, my DCs eat far more variety at school than I dreamt they would (DS especially). He wouldn't eat my curry, for example, but will happily chomp down the (spicier) school one. Might be worth letting him try some new things, spurred on by seeing his classmates eat them.

I'd send him with a packed lunch but speak to the teacher first.

There's nothing more daunting to a 4yr old, than having to explain something like that...if the teacher is insisting they're on the school dinner list.

Thinking back to my own school days, we didn't get a choice...not even a veggie one but we all managed to eat somehow.

I wouldn't want to be forced to eat something that I don't like!

I don't think school meals are that healthy, chips, cake, cheap meat etc so we do packed lunches.

I think that you have to follow rules at school so I would just opt out and pack lunches everyday.

I wonder how DDs school manages. They can choose on the day whether they are having a school dinner or not.

My children hated "Indian Day" where the choice was curry or curry. Thus they had packed lunch. Why should a child be forced to eat something they hate and which I would not eat either

OP, your DS's menu sounds a little like our school's (contracted out) offerings. Do you still have a copy of the full menu? At the bottom of ours, in the small print, it says that they can substitute meals with jacket potato and beans by arrangement. Might that be an option?

Failing that (and assuming this is general finickiness and not a food/sensory issue) I'd be inclined to tell him, in the nicest possible way, to suck it up. My youngest is a fussy eater and I try to make sure I cook something I know she'll eat every other evening. On the evenings when it's something she doesn't like all I ask is that she sits at the table nicely whilst the rest of us eat. There is usually at least one thing she'll try. She is 3 years old btw.

Worst case scenario, he'll be hungry one afternoon per week. Just have a snack ready for him when you collect him. He won't starve.

Of course you should send a packed lunch if you want to. School still has the money you paid for the week, so why should that be a problem??

Fuck me judgejudithjudy, who kicked your puppy? I didn't realise not liking a school lunch was a hanging offence

OP send a packed lunch if you want. He's 4 not 14 and I'd rather know he'd eaten something during the day than use that time to broaden his tastebuds. You can do that out of school.

not saying youre a shit mum op but rather a precious self absorbed parent! why should the school break the rules just for you is my question?! just send dc in with packed lunches. & yes, someone did kick my puppy lol - probably the op when making up her own pathetic rulesas it doesnt 'fit her pathetic schedule' :-)

There is only one example of "pathetic" on this thread and it's not the OP.

Our school let you decide on the day you put your name bar in one of three boxes

Home lunch
Packed lunch
School dinner

As long as the school dinner is paid for they don't care, my child refuses to even try hot dinners.

I work in an infant school. We share the kitchens with the junior school next door.

Children in both schools chose each morning from main meal, veggie option, Halal option or packed lunch. Numbers then go to the kitchens and they prepare what is required.

Seems very inflexible. At our school children choose their options (1,2 or 3, packed lunch or home) first thing in the morning and the figures are sent to the kitchen for about 9.30. Anyone ordering late has to take whatever option is available (we factor in a couple of extras just in case).

What happens if your child orders a meal for the week and is off for part of it? Do you still have to pay? What happens if your child comes to school part way through the week? Just brings a packed lunch for that partial week?

I've been thinking about this since my last post.

How can it be good customer service to expect people to choose, order and pay for food so far in advance with apparently no flexibility?

The fact that it is not a council run service provides the answer, perhaps. A privately run lunch service does not have to consider the needs of the people who have to use it.

Many posters on this thread (me included) have related their experience of a good and flexible lunch time system.

Pandora, what is the background to how the school chose this inflexible system? Were parents consulted? Was the school consulted?

judgejudithjudy I am not a self absorbed parent with pathetic rules or a pathetic schedule for that matter. I am however not going to let my child spend all day at school not eating, I pay for school meals and would also pay on the day where he took a packed lunch so therefore I don't really see a problem. I do hope you are just having a bad day today and are not this bitter all the time
Huge thanks to all the other lovely mumsnetters that gave me great advice though

Seriously judy is there really a need to speak to another poster like that? This is about school lunches not truancy or bullying or other major problems at school. It's not a biggie, I'm sure the school will be flexible if OP just sends him in with a packed lunch and a note to explain it.