to want time to go to an exercise class?

[Licketysplit123]

I've found a new hobby which I really like. It's on twice a week and it takes me out of the house for two hours.

I am not proposing I go to both classes every week, but I would like to be able to go to one.

OH's work has long been an issue. He tends to work afternoons/nights. From August last year to June this year, he would probably have one or two evenings at home a fortnight. This drove me insane. I am a very sociable person and after DD had gone to bed at 7pm, I was essentially home alone every night.

We had many disagreements about his work and the effect on our family life. He is freelance and chooses how much he works. I argued that we could do without a little bit of money so he can be at home more. Now, he tries to be at home one or two nights every week.

I have compromised and said if he is home for one night, I will spend that night at home with him. If he is home for two nights, I want to go to the class one of those evenings.

Last week, OH was off for four days and had six evenings at home. This is a rarity and I wanted to make the most of it.

One of those nights, he wanted to watch the football so I went to my class. Another of those nights there was a charity event for DD's nursery and I went to it from 6-8pm. Another night, my sister asked if I wanted to go and visit her for a glass of wine to make the most of the fact DH was home and I could escape. DH sulked until I decided it wasn't worth it and I didn't go.

DH is working today and I want to go to the class tomorrow. We had a big argument about it last night because he said "you are never in" and now he is sulking about it and giving me the silent treatment.

I work hard and rarely get the opportunity to see friends. I was very frustrated when I couldn't lose the baby weight for a long time after DD because I was stuck inside but this new hobby has really helped me get the weight off. I do a lot of it at home as i have not been able to go to the class as much as others. It frustrates me that i can't go but DH is very good at guilt tripping me and giving me the silent treatment.

AIBU or is he right??

A bloke writes: YANBU, and he's a miserable controlling twunt.

My job means I can pretty much choose my shifts. So, not being a twunt, I choose the ones that allow the most freedom for DW, DD and myself.

HTH.

Thank you!! That does help.
I know he is a miserable twunt. Whole other issue. I just don't want to be a hypocrite and stand my ground if really I should be prioritising time together. It's hard to maintain perspective about the small issues sometimes. Thanks though

If he was that arsed about spending time with you then he could rejig his normal shifts to give more evenings at home.

Tbh ID see if I could find a local sitter and do the classes every week.

I've thought about that but the sitter would cost £7.50 an hour, plus the £5 cost of the class. I couldn't justify £20 a week. He would definitely complain about that. Maybe I should just do it anyway!

Can he actually properly choose his hours, or is his job something that mostly needs to be done in the evenings?

(eg I have a friend who is a financial adviser, theoretically she can choose her hours but in practise she has to meet clients after they have finished work)

Most of his work either needs to be in the evenings or really early at 6am, which he prefers not to do as he is not an early riser.

The only way to be at home is to take one or two days off a week - which he wouldn't do for a long time - or go for an early shift.

To be honest, I am fine with him having to work in the evenings, I accept that, I just want him to take 1/2 days off a week, because we don't need the money that much and I work too and want more support around the house and with DD.

I'm not nagging him not to work, I just want to go to my class.