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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect more than this?

22 replies

aturtlenamedmack · 15/09/2013 09:02

My bil has recently suffered from multiple strokes as well as other serious medical complications which have left him permanently disabled.
He has lost most of his sight, has very limited movement in one side of his body and his communication have all be affected.
He married ny sister last week.
A couple of weeks before that he went to a very large and trusted high street chain to buy his suit for the wedding. My db went with him to help him shop and try things on as he would have been unable to manage this himself.
The whole experience was very difficult for him, he is still coming to terms with his disability and has lost a lot of confidence. He is a young man (under 30) and is really struggling with everything.
When it came to trying on the suit he was told that no disabled changing room was available for him to use as it was being used for storage while the sale was on. No apology and no offer to clear it.
My db explained that bil would struggled to try the suit on by himself and that both of them would need to get into the changing cubicle.
There was still no offer to clear the larger changing room and it was suggested that bil undress and change in a cubicle with the door open and db stand on the outside of the cubicle to help him. So that's what happened.
I am disgusted at this. I feel it's degrading and bil was very upset.
We complained to the store and received a standard response which we were unhappy with. We have since asked for a written apology and reassurance that this won't happen to others, neither of which have been forthcoming.
Bil is unhappy with the way that this has been dealt with, as are the rest of us.
I want to make it clear that no one is hoping for money/vouchers etc, just an acknowledgement that this is bad practice and won't happen again and some understanding about why we are so upset.
So AIBU to expect this and if not then what's the best way to proceed?

OP posts:
Souredstones · 15/09/2013 09:05

Complain.

If it was moss bros I'm not surprised in the slightest and have an email address you can use if you want me to PM you it as we had massive issues with them and got a full refund on 6 suits and compensation.

aturtlenamedmack · 15/09/2013 09:08

Thank you soured but it wasn't. It was a very large high street department store type place.

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 15/09/2013 09:08

I would have thought that this breaches the Equality
Act. I woukd write to the CEO, copying in the Equality and Human
RIghts commission, and set out your complaint very clearly. I would stress that BIL was shocked and upset, and ask for all branches to receive proper training on disability issues (not just and email or a poster).

Lilacroses · 15/09/2013 09:08

How awful for him. What is the point in having a disabled changing area if you can't use it. Do complain again.

Lilacroses · 15/09/2013 09:09

At the very LEASt they should have been falling over themselves to apologise when you did complain.

ZillionChocolate · 15/09/2013 09:10

YANBU.

DwellsUndertheSink · 15/09/2013 09:13

Thats terrible, and discriminatory. I would complain to head office.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 15/09/2013 09:13

Definitely complain.
Find out the big bosses email address and send your complaint to the top.
Dont let it go until you are all satisfied with the apology you get.
Good luck

MammaTJ · 15/09/2013 09:15

Definitely complain to head office!

magicturnip · 15/09/2013 09:19

I think you should name and shame them here. That way we know to avoid that store. Utterly disgraceful behaviour. I would agree with hermione. Stores are legally bound to make a reasonable adjustment for people with disabilities and what they offered does not seem reasonable. There is a reason why changing cubicles have doors and curtains - it is because none of us wants to undress in front of strangers. They shouldn't be removing facilities for disabled people for the convenience of their storage.

Apileofballyhoo · 15/09/2013 09:19

That's really horrible, OP. Did you try twitter or facebook? When I had trouble with my mobile provider overcharging I got nowhere with customer service and a pretty fast response on the facebook page (due to its public nature, I assume!).

Navycake · 15/09/2013 09:19

Name and shame!

SamHamwidge · 15/09/2013 09:23

I agree. Name and shame. This is a huge forum.

Hassled · 15/09/2013 09:23

That's really, really bad - your poor BIL. Absolutely complain, and don't hold back re naming them.

DrHolmes · 15/09/2013 09:23

Name and shame. When that happens, they take notice.

Chocotrekkie · 15/09/2013 09:27

Have they got a Facebook and/or twitter page ? Post what happened on them with store location and time and they will take notice.

PoppyFleur · 15/09/2013 09:36

Completely disgraceful way to treat a person. Write a letter to head office documenting everything clearly, name dates etc. Seek advice from Equality & Human Rights commission. See link below with details on the disability act.

www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/newsenglish/britain/disability_act.shtml

aturtlenamedmack · 15/09/2013 09:48

Thanks for all the replies.
I will have a look on twitter, I think that they will most likely have twitter and Facebook.
The standard letter that we got back seemed to come from head office however we have since replied to that via email and included telephone numbers and email addresses and explained that we want to discuss it further however we have had no response.
The company was m&s and they have such a trusted reputation that i expected a lot more understanding from them.
It took a lot for bil to go in the first place and he found it humiliating.
He just wants some acknowledgement that this was the wrong way for the store to behave and that it shouldn't happen again.
hermione I really think that they need to look at the way they are training their staff about disability.

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 15/09/2013 10:13

M&S? That's shocking. As others have said, write to their HO and also the chamber of commerce in the location

AgentProvocateur · 15/09/2013 10:14

Sorry - the CoC in the location. Which store was it?

sooperdooper · 15/09/2013 10:16

That's disgraceful! And from such a well known store, I think you should contact the press tbh, they've had an opportunity to put it right and haven't. I think a paper would be interested in such a well known retailer behaving like this

stiffstink · 15/09/2013 10:18

I'm horrified. Like someone else said, M&S should be grovelling to him, not sending a standard letter, which it will be.

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