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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

There's no such thing as too much drink for a child?

71 replies

confuddledDOTcom · 14/09/2013 23:33

My 7yo has packed lunches and a dinner lady told her yesterday that she takes too much to school to drink (two drinks, Capri type). I'm cross because children shouldn't be discouraged from drinking anyway, I was a terror and our GP told me that she wouldn't come out to see me next time I made myself ill when I was not much older - I don't think she meant it!

Besides that, which yes dinner lady wouldn't have known but then she wouldn't have known so she should keep her mouth shut because she doesn't know the personal details, my daughter has chronic constipation which has caused her bladder to be half the size it should be which has affected how much she drinks, makes the constipation worse because she's not drinking and we've been told she must drink more to get the fluids in and because her bladder needs the exercise to increase it's size. She is a terror for drinking so we do need to encourage her, it doesn't help that the list of things she's not allowed to drink has left her with little she will drink! Apparently she tried to speak up for herself and was told not to and the dinner lady walked off. She's feeling a little upset about it, she's very much a fair's fair type person.

Yes, we're going into school Monday, she didn't bring it up with us until it was too late. I just think this lady was out of order to tell a child they have too much drink! She's 7yo, she doesn't pack her own lunch so if they have a problem they should ask the class teacher to bring it up with the parents (where she'd have been told to leave her alone I hope) and no child should be discouraged from drinking!

OP posts:
LtEveDallas · 15/09/2013 08:20

Sugar can have a laxative effect, which as her DD has chronic constipation, is probably what the OP wants.

OP, when you go in just say that you do not want someone who does not know your DDs medical history commenting on her lunch. No need to be bolshy or annoyed, just clear. Hope it goes ok.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 15/09/2013 08:21

YABU and your daughter's teeth will suffer if she drinks two of those daily. She needs water...

soapysam · 15/09/2013 08:21

One capri sun, one large water bottle. 2 capri sun is waaay too much sugar for 1 meal!!

LtEveDallas · 15/09/2013 08:24

Not necessarily neo, you don't know the state/strength/physical make-up of OPs child.

DD has never drank water. She only ever has pure juice, watered down juice or squash - including as a bedtime drink for some years. Her teeth are excellent, no cavities, no yellowing, no problems.

We are all different. OP will be doing what is best for her child, as you are, as I am.

Retropear · 15/09/2013 08:26

Sugar is a laxative - really?Blimey given how much sugar kids eat I'm surprised the country isn't awash with diarrhoea.One cup of coke surely would cause huge problems.

I knew some artificial sweeteners were a laxative in vast quantities but never heard of sugar being one.You normally hear the reverse.

Sirzy · 15/09/2013 08:35

I was going to suggest the same as soapysam. Can you not send one Capri sun and a beaker of water?

LtEveDallas · 15/09/2013 08:37

I said can have a laxitive effect. Which it can.

No need for the bitchy sarcasm was there?

talkingnonsense · 15/09/2013 08:49

Orange juice is also good for constipation for some people. The op said it wasn't a Capri sun drink, and said the dr had given her a list of stuff for her dd to drink.

Op, just mention it to the teacher, or pop a note in the lunch box. 2 drinks at lunch is just a bit unusual and the dinner lady prob just wanted to hurry your dd up!

TallulahMcFey · 15/09/2013 08:53

I am not a fan of dinner ladies in as a whole and have also have problems with them and their opinions. I have found them to be power crazed. My daughter also has problems with constipation and I have had problems, amongst other things, with them not letting her go to the toilet. There was a time when she had to leave the classroom at 12 and go straight to hall for lunch, the dinner ladies then said they couldn't leave the hall to go to the toilet and finishing lunch, they had to ho straight to the playground with once again no time to go to the toilet. Consequently, she was scared to drink, which wasn't good for her constipation. I sent a letter to her teacher and it was sorted. Another time they insisted my very fussy daughter eat more of her pudding when she had tried it (a big step forward from only taking packed lunches) and I was pleased that she had. I didn't want her to be scared to ask to try something new in case she was forced to eat it. There was the time she got told that if she was a play time pal one day then she had to be the next and was made to go back to the key stage 1 playground when she wanted to play with her older friends that day. This was a rule made up by the dinner lady on the spur of the moment to try to get more older kids on the playground that day to take the younger ones to the toilet etc. Another letter went off. There were more incidences too but some I let go. As I said, not a fan.

HouseOfGingerbread · 15/09/2013 08:57

Yes, sugar can definitely have a laxative effect. It's why people used to recommend sugar water for grumpy babies.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the contents of a child's packup (and the OP has repeatedly explained what type of drink and why) if a lunchtime supervisor is concerned, they should raise it with a teacher who may decide to talk to the parents. There's no point telling a child. They don't pack the lunch.

It may have been just an off the cuff passing comment though. But if your daughter's friends also comnent - 'why have you got two drinks' - she'd be feeling understandably sensitive.

HouseOfGingerbread · 15/09/2013 08:59

She may also have been worrying that your daughter would fill herself up with drink at the expense of food.

Retropear · 15/09/2013 09:11

Er no people used to suggest sugar water because it's sweet and babies liked it.

softlysoftly · 15/09/2013 09:21

Retropear sugar water is to soften pooh, in essence that's what lactulose is.

HouseOfGingerbread · 15/09/2013 09:22

That well known laxative lactulose is, like other things with ose on the end (fructose, sucrose, glucose), a form of sugar. Yes, sugar substitutes have a laxative effect. That doesn't preclude sugar having one too. It's a less harsh effect.

Yes, babies like sweet things, but one of the reasons sugar water helped them to settle was that its gentle laxative effect helped with trapped wind.

HouseOfGingerbread · 15/09/2013 09:23

Cross post.

FutTheShuckUp · 15/09/2013 09:24

There is no evidence base for that. Just like the old rubbing whiskey on baby's gums.

ShadeofViolet · 15/09/2013 09:29

Maybe she was thinking it was a lot of drink in one go, which it is.

Is she filling up on drink and not eating her dinner?

Floggingmolly · 15/09/2013 09:30

Doesn't she have a water bottle? Confused. If getting fluids into her is a problem, that's what you should be concentrating on, not packing sugary drinks into her lunch box.

HouseOfGingerbread · 15/09/2013 09:33

Yes, OP has explained that she has a normal water bottle plus a special water bottle with a laxative in that she has twice a day.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 15/09/2013 09:34

Regardless of any of the medical issues, no dinner lady should be commenting directly to a SEVEN YEAR OLD on what's in their lunch. If genuinely concerned, they should talk to the teacher. A child has no control over what is in their lunchbox and therefore making them feel bad about it is quite bully-ish. Our dinner lady often talks to me about odd lunchbox contents so I can either explain, or talk to the parent. She wouldn't dream of being anything other than neutral to the children directly.

Re: the people commenting in the actual drinks, the op said she has a list from the doctor of what the dd is allowed. So it's no one else's place to comment on that either.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 15/09/2013 09:37

Wt is going on here?! Shock Confused
Quite possibly the weirdest reaction I've ever seen on MN to a pefectly normal aibu post!

Surely, unless the OP is sending her DD into school with JD and coke, the important thing as a drink-refuser with chronic constipation is that she is drinking something
Yes it could be better than caprisun type drinks, but ffs it could be worse!

And yes, if there are problems with the lunch, these need to be passed on to the parents, not the child.

Cat98 · 15/09/2013 09:45

Capri sun is at least pure juice which is better than all the fruit shoot rubbish with all sorts added in.
I know pure juice isn't great for teeth but I'd rather ds had one of those (with a meal) than a fruit shoot or similar.

However I agree that 2 of those is probably excessive, weird thing for a teacher to comment on though- they should try going into ds's school, so much crap in the lunch boxes Capri sums would seem positively virtuous Grin

Cat98 · 15/09/2013 09:45

Sorry - dinner lady, not teacher!

pudseypie · 15/09/2013 09:45

totally agree with beyondthelimits.
My ds also has chronic constipation and you just need them to drink anything.

Retropear · 15/09/2013 09:52

Sorry regardless of the op still not buying the sugar as a laxative thing.

I thought sorbitol and other sweeteners are laxatives because they're sugar alcohols which sugar isn't.

Any chemists/ scientists who can explain?I'd just like to know on a geeky level.