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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect teenage relatives to be friendly when I see them in town?

16 replies

froken · 14/09/2013 20:16

Dp has 10 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 10 to 25. We all live very close to each other so I regularly bump into them whilst on tge bus/train or at the shop.

They at best nod their head at me but normally they just walk past me. They do this to other family members to, I was out with ds's godfather ( the nieces and nephews great uncle) he is lovely and tried to engage one of tge neices in a conversation whilst we waited for tge train, she sneered and walked away, he was quite upset, he has teenage kids himself who are very respectful and friendly.

Ds is 8 months old now so he pretty oblivious to tge rude attitude but I am not looking forward to him realising that his cousins wont even say hello to him.

The thing that really annoys me is whenever one of the neices or nephews has a birthday all the extended family are invited by text saying "dn is turning 17, they would like money as a gift as theywant a new phone/computer/iPad" I think if you don't care enough to say a friendly hi, how's things? To people don't invite those people to your birthday party?

I'm in my mid 20s myself and most of the nephews and neices are only a year or 2 younger than me.

Aibu to think it is rude not to say a cheery "hi" and smile when you see a family member?

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 14/09/2013 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dominodonkey · 14/09/2013 20:20

YANBU but they sound like they are products of their parents if the parents think it's ok to text relatives asking for money.

Original poster

froken · 14/09/2013 20:27

They don't say thanks. Also none of dp's 3 sisters gave ds anything when he was born ( not even a card) not that we want them to spend money on ds but a card would have been appreciated.

OP posts:

marriedinwhiteisback · 14/09/2013 20:31

Hmm. Teenagers don't publicly acknowledge but if they are older than 17/18 they shoulld have learnt better. Their parents should not allow them to text for money or ask for it on their behalf - ever.

specialsubject · 14/09/2013 20:33

tell the parents that regrettably due to how they behave, there won't be any presents or money.

MrsDeVere · 14/09/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stubbornstains · 14/09/2013 20:38

Embarrassing jumpers as birthday presents for the lot of them.

DameDeepRedBetty · 14/09/2013 21:00

Initially I was assuming they were going through the normal teenage dying-of-embarrassment whenever they see a relative thing, but this is past that stage isn't it! Sounds like they're not very well brought up to me.

MammaTJ · 14/09/2013 21:03

YANBU but when I was a teen I was painfully shy, I know it does not seem possible now, and I would lower my head and more or less grunt when faced with an adult speaking to me. Could that be the reason at all?

HalooJones · 14/09/2013 21:13

There is no excuse for rudeness. Their parents are failing them if they allow them to act this way without reproach.

NorfolkIngWay · 14/09/2013 21:19

YANBU
My hairdresser said how lovely it was that my DS said hello to her and smiled when she saw him in town.
If he hadnt I would have given him a good telling off.
I do think its because they are selfconcious or gobshites like our next door neighbours DC who blank us now

Abra1d · 14/09/2013 21:23

My 15- and 16-year old would be bollocked if they did not acknowledge family or family friends, even if it was just a smile and hello.

MoominMammasHandbag · 14/09/2013 21:30

I was once blanked by one of my teenage DS's best mates in the corner shop. He'd been coming round to ours for tea, gaming and sleepovers since he was about 5 years old.
I was absolutely raging.

whitesugar · 14/09/2013 21:44

Teenagers can definitely feel awkward & self conscious but the behaviour you describe is just rude. My teenage DC can be cheeky little buggers at times to me but they are polite outside the house. I would be raging if I heard they were rude to other people. You are dead right, their parents attitude is poor.

Original poster

froken · 14/09/2013 21:46

I really don't understand why they have all grown up to be so rude. I think maybe because there are so many of them they were left to entertain each otger whilst the parents chatted. In my family the children and teenagers are encouraged to join in tge conversations and the adults respect a young person's opinion as much as an adult's opinion.

I love the embarrassing jumper idea! Alternatively I will give them 50 pounds but insist they come over for a cup of tea and very long chat before I will give them the money!

I don't think they are all shy, possibly a couple of them but it seems unlikely that all 10 of them are shy.

I just hope that it isn't genetic although ds chats and smiles at everyone, I just hope he continues!

OP posts:

CoffeeTea103 · 14/09/2013 22:03

YANBU, manners cost nothing. They are just plain rude and there isn't any excuse for that. Even if they don't want to engage in a long conversation ( as we all do sometimes) there are polite ways to have a quick chat with someone.
Also to point blank ask for cash for birthdays is .

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