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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to exercise on the weekend when I work all week

46 replies

LillethTheCat · 14/09/2013 14:50

I took up running in 2012 and my fitness levels grew which I dont want to lose. I havent done much over the last 6 weeks or so and this morning at Parkrun I found it hard even though I was 3 minutes slower than my PB.

I was unemployed and looking for work so found it easy to fit in exercise. I now have a job in an office so Mon -Fri. DH is a SAHD. I want to carry on exercising, but with 3 DCs all under 10 Im not sure its feasable to find the time. I dont want to go before work as I would like to help get the DCs ready for school. I dont want to go straight from work I generally get home at 6PM and the youngest is 2YO so I like to do the bedtime routine with her (and the other 2 as well). I could go back out on a night (say around 8) which is fine if its light enough to go for a run, but I live rurally so its dark and Im not sure if its a bit too dangerous to run on the roads in the night in the dark. Obviously Id purchase the right gear to be as safe as I can be if I chose this route. Also by that time all I want to do is slump and watch crap TV

I was thinking about doing Parkrun every saturday and also doing something on a sunday afternoon (whether thats going for a run at home or going to the gym - I get free membership through work), but Im a little unsure as this means I will be out 7 days a week at some point. OK so Saturdays Im back for 10AM and Sundays it would be for a couple of hours while DC3 has her afternoon nap. DS and DD1 are happy enough playing on their own or with friends.

I did think about getting up early to do some sort of exercise (Shred or Insanity), but Ive yet to drag my arse out of bed any earlier than I have been doing.

So AIBU to consider going out on both days of the weekend when I work all week?

OP posts:
Yonihadtoask · 14/09/2013 14:53

YANBU. time is obviously tight during the week. I don't see a problem. parkrun is only 30 mins or so. In fact all the family could go and marshall as a family group. Then you could have breakfast afterwards together or something?

tumbletumble · 14/09/2013 14:57

I'm a SAHM with 3 DC under 8. Tbh if DH wanted to go off and exercise on both Sat and Sun I would be quite pissed off. What does your DH think?

WorraLiberty · 14/09/2013 14:58

Have you discussed it with your DH?

It sounds OK to me but as is often asked on here, will your DH be having any child free time as he's with the kids all week?

Sirzy · 14/09/2013 14:59

I think to plan something for both days of the weekend every week is a bit unfair. One day or the other fair enough but not every day.

If your DH is a SAHD when does he get his 'time off'?

tumbletumble · 14/09/2013 15:01

Having said that, DH goes to the gym after work and I don't mind that, even though it means he's not around for bedtime. Family time at weekends is more important to me, but maybe your DH would prefer your suggestion.

Ragwort · 14/09/2013 15:01

I think it is essential that your children grow up seeing their parent doing exercise which is a healthy thing to do and having an interest of their own, not being a martyr to family life.

My DH and I both have hobbies that we pursue individually, we respect each others interests and understand that there is more to life than just being 'on call' for your children (or partner).

nicename · 14/09/2013 15:04

Go for it. You need to exercise to unwind and keep your fitness and energy levels up. Its also good for kids to see their parents exercising as part of their routine. When older, they can come for a trot with you. DS (9) can now swim faster and run longer than I can!

OneHandFlapping · 14/09/2013 15:07

I am in a similar situation, plus I commute and hour and a half each way. In the end, a few times a week I ran part of my commute - about 5k at a time.

It takes a bit of organisation in terms of clothes, and I'm lucky that we have a shower at work, but it actually doesn't take any more time than the Tube.

Oldmanriver · 14/09/2013 15:18

Maybe you could do one morning, one evening and parkrun.

This sounds slightly more reasonable than both days at the weekend and would be better for your running.

You could offer your partner some time off too, e.g. one day a week make him totally off duty the moment you get home. If he chooses not to use it that's up to him.

FredFredGeorge · 14/09/2013 15:30

First up, embrace running in the evening after they're asleep - your fitness will improve a lot from more regularly running, a good head torch and a rear light clipped to your belt

There's no need for you not to be able to be out for exercise on both Saturday and Sunday - there's nothing unreasonable about it at all. You need to make sure DH has plenty of time throughout the week and weekend to do what he wants too of course.

As ragwort says, seeing you be active and exercise is important for your children, and one day they will be able to join you.

Original poster
LillethTheCat · 14/09/2013 15:35

DS has joined me on Parkrun before and Ive promised to take him next week.

DH just says I can do what I like, as long as he gets a go on his Playstation or Xbox at times he's happy. He doesnt really go anywhere (except school runs) and is happy with that. He's not a people person and is not interested in socialising. Although he did suggest he fancies doing Rugby one night a week after seeing an advert asking for players. I agreed it would be good for him, but he didn't persue it.

I just feel guilty for considering it even though it will only be for 2 hours each day Id be out at the weekends and on sundays it would be when DD2 was in bed. DH says he's fine with it.

OP posts:
Numberlock · 14/09/2013 15:38

For me it would be more important that the kids have some family time at weekend, therefore I think the plan isn't reasonable, one weekend day at least should be kept free.

Awomansworth · 14/09/2013 15:43

I would do one day not two... unless your DH is ok with it and it fits in the dc.

I wouldn't risk running at night if you are rural... We live a mile down a very narrow country lane (only 5 houses) and this one guy has nearly been knocked down twice by running down the lane in the dark.

ZingWantsCake · 14/09/2013 15:45

Lilleth do it.
you have my permission.

if it's too much, or doesn't work out you can always stop.

IsThatTrue · 14/09/2013 15:47

I think it's entirely reasonable if you and DH are happy with it. It's a great example to be setting your dcs lilleth and as they get older hopefully they will join you for parkrun more regularly. :)

GobblersKnob · 14/09/2013 15:47

Dp works all week and exercises both days at the weekend (and in the week too). It's fine by me, should we be going out all day as a family then he just fits it in before or after, I would be peeved if we couldn't do stuff because of it though, but that isn't the case.

I do the shred everyday, but get up at silly o clock to do so.

ZingWantsCake · 14/09/2013 15:47

oh and from a my, a SAHM's POV - my DH spend about the same time having naps so although he is in the house I still have to look after the kids.

no problem whatsoever.

LouiseAderyn · 14/09/2013 15:51

I think that if your dh is happy and has the same opportunities to pursue his own interests (whether that involves going out of the house or not), then fair enough - do whatever suits you best.

Original poster
LillethTheCat · 14/09/2013 15:54

That's the plan IsThatTrue DS comes with me to Parkrun the odd time now and when he's 11 and allowed to run on his own (according to Parkrun rules) then I will also bring DD1 with me. I did suggest to DH we all go and he stays in the park for half an hour or so with the DCs and they could cheer me and other people on, but he wasn't keen.

Im home and showered for 10:15 on a sat and wouldn't go out till DD2 was in bed on a sunday so anytime from half 12. Plus its not every weekend as we do have plans some weeks such as visiting family or needing to go out, but those weekends (like this weekend) when we have no plans Im thinking of.

Just wish DH did something outside the home now to balance it out, but he doesn't and doesn't seem interested either.

OP posts:
themaltesefalcon · 14/09/2013 15:56

I hate this idea of forced family time.

Much better for kids to see their parents happy, fit, healthy and fulfilled because they've taken a whole (gasp!) hour to themselves for a spot of exercise.

That said, I agree with the person who recommended evening running. I am a recent convert and it's chillily wonderful.

My sympathies, though, OP- I have a two year old daughter as well and don't see enough of her as it is. Exercise sometimes feels like a very selfish pleasure indeed.

IsThatTrue · 14/09/2013 16:21

lilleth I had ds1 (6) and a friends ds1 (9) and my friends ds1 went off ahead after the crowds had thinned out. Nobody batted an eyelid, I think they need somebody there but you don't have to stick to them like glue. (Although they do need to be sensible enough to wait at the finish Grin) I now need to convince dd she can do it, but that would probably take more patience than I possess!

mycatlikestwiglets · 14/09/2013 16:33

DH does exactly this - park run on Saturday morning (if decent weather DS and me go to the playground while he runs) and 2ish hours on a Sunday (first thing though rather than during DS' nap). DH and I both work full time with a long commute and it's often difficult to exercise during the week. Tbh I really don't have a problem with it, although I suppose I might feel differently once DC2 arrives next month. I don't think YABU if your DH is ok with the idea.

Ragwort · 14/09/2013 16:36

If my DH was spending his free time on a playstaton or X-Box I think I'd be out of the house running for a lot longer than a couple of hours at the weekends. Grin.

Bogeyface · 14/09/2013 16:36

Is the gym open in the evenings?

I used to go after the kids went to bed so was there three evenings a week from 8pm to about 9:45 as they shut at 10pm. But then I was the SAHM so that was my time off, perhaps you could do the Saturday morning one and one evening?

arethereanyleftatall · 14/09/2013 16:42

Go for it