To have this school trip "cost" DS something

[PractialJoke]

He's 13 and wants to go on a 9 day watersports trip, overseas, costing £700.

It sounds like a great trip and we can afford for him to go if that's what he really wants, although obviously we will miss the money.

There will however there will be other trips that come up and he needs to understand that if he goes on this one, there won't be any others at least this year or next.

So partly as a way of making sure this is what he really wants, and partly to cover some of the cost, I was going to say that he can go, but there won't be any birthday party this year and that if he needs any spending money he will need to save/earn it himself. Obviously he's getting a bit old for parties as such, but probably is expecting some sort of "do" maybe a few friends to the cinema and something to eat kind of thing.

AIBU?

the trips that my dds school offers I couldnt afford for them to go everyone and tbh I wouldn't be encouraging it anyway, last term dd2 was eligible for 5 trips and 2/3 were big ones abroad

We have told my daughter she needs to do chores each week to earn a certain amount towards her big school trip, which should take her 30 weeks to pay off. Then if she carries on with her chores she can earn money for her spends.

I think kids benefit from understand the importance of earning money, not too sure if they get the same sense of achievement from paying for something by not having a party?

I think i have to agree with you on this one. Just because you can afford the trip doesn't mean he is entitled to go without an offset to anything else. If it were me i would say yes you may go , but because it is such a lavish trip then you can have it as a birthday present.Then i would buy a small gift for his birthday, so he has something on the day.

I grew up being offered trips/things i wanted but didn't need as a birthday or Christmas gift (or combined if they were expensive, i would certainly have been given the trip as a birthday and Christmas present combined at that price but thats against the point) , without blowing my own trumpet i have to say i am so good with my money now, it taught me the value of money and helped me appreciate my parents weren't obliged just to give me money for trips for the sake of it. You can still celebrate his birthday by inviting friends for tea at your house or just making a family fuss over him, just because your not having a party doesn't mean your abandoning his birthday like some people seem to assume.

I like your style of parenting. Do what you think is right for your son.

ps. Hope he enjoys his holiday :)