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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to dressing up for an event in town

4 replies

Fiona24 · 13/09/2013 21:17

.... to balk at request from (grown up) colleague/friend in local eco group that DH and I dress up in green garbs, wear garlands of leaves/flowers and hand out flowery things to passers by in our town to promote an event that's coming up. 'Well', said she, when I said I'd be a mite self-conscious, 'you can always wear a wig. I bought some.' I, perhaps stupidly, but I didn't know how to put it, said that I thought that dressing up in this sort of bucolic way (this is a fairly urban area) was perhaps great for smaller kids but that it wouldn't be quite me - but I'd be delighted to help in other ways ie turn up as myself.

She said something about us all being colour coded and ended the conversation in a huff.

I felt awkward - she works very hard for the group - and I sent her an email explaining that I didn't mean to cause offence but that I knew that I'd uncomfortable and self-conscious - especially as I feel a bit out of kilter in this town (it's rather posh - and I'm not). I didn't write, but perhaps I could have, that maybe putting out feelers before buying wigs, making flowers, etc etc might have been an idea and, especially this, effectively excluding people who simply want to turn up and help but not dress up is exclusive - something our organization works hard not to be.

To sound so put out - why this a kind of moral blackmail on my friend's part or am I being an arsehole but not going along with it even though I know I'd feel like a prat - and - and this is relevant - this has been a very difficult month for me for all sorts of reasons and I want some peace ...

OP posts:
mrspremise · 13/09/2013 21:30

No. YANBU. She sounds like a complete twat.

FreshLeticia · 13/09/2013 21:56

YANBU. Dressing up is my idea of hell. However, I am happy, as you are, to help with good causes by just being myself.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 13/09/2013 21:59

Sounds like she's been carried away by the idea....does she have long flowing locks and fancy herself a bit ethereal? Bet she does. Grin Ignore the huff....do what you are comfy with.

Trills · 13/09/2013 22:00

I don't think you are being an arsehole but I also don't think it is "moral blackmail".

If the aim is to get attention then dressing up will get a lot more attention than just handing out leaflets while dressed normally.

Does the friend know that you've had a bad month? Maybe she doesn't understand quite how much of a prat you would feel, and thinks that feeling a little bit of a prat is worth it in order to get more attention for your cause.

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