To think everyone's children can't be "very bright"

[DrinkFromMyFountain]

Because a good 80% or posters/people in RL seem to refer to their kids as "very bright", surely 80% of kids can't be above average?

As the proud mother of a three month old I'm not fussed if my DS is "bright" or not, if he isn't academic I'm sure he will have other talents!

I hereby declare I shan't constantly boast about how bright he is unless he is a full in genius . As my mother always said, there is nothing wrong with being average.

That's another area I'm conflicted. I've got great degrees but not happy or content or in a great job. isn't something like hairdressing supposed to give the most job satisfaction? There's the inner desire to follow the mumsnet vibe of great qualifications but really I'd be happiest if they were happy.

I completely agree about not stereotyping. There's a difference between looking at average scores of an intake and individual students isn't there.

I've got a strange background in that I've got a mainly public school educated extended family but was in an abusive situation growing up myself, and on fsm as a teenager, very difficult homelife. I was the high achieving kid despite the crapy homelife. The crap homelife effected me in other ways though and I guess affected outcomes post degree.

I was stupidlybright and it was obvious even without parental support. Didn't mean I 'succeeded' in life though. I'd rather a good happy life for my children than my level of academic success.

I am hoping Gove takes over as leader of the Tories before the next election, that way, they won't have a snowballs chance in hell of winning!

I'm sacred by what Gove is doing to education.

Scarily, some people think that by banging on about 'standards' Gove is some how a wonderful Secretary of State for Education.

In reality, he doesn't give two shits for children in the state sector. He wants schools to turn out children who memorise facts and regurgitate them to order. Thinking for yourself is to be strongly discouraged.

Not got time to read the whole thread but...... I have one with SEN, 2 G&T, one who is very bright but a nightmare for concentration and could go either way, and one who is bang on average. Not sure about the little one yet.

I think it comes from no one wanting to say "I am sooooo proud, my DC got 4 Cs and 3 D's in their GCSEs " when there are so many posts about A*s

God this thread made me chuckle.

maybe mine just needs a change of bulb.

I cringe when think of pfb nursery she joined at 11months when back to work where where we declared her as advanced,

May have repeated that each year up until she started school.

she then got average -above average efys scores.
But years 1 and 2 were rocky.

she crashed and burned-clearly a peak too sooner!
The school dident fully see or appreciate her brightness must be error in way the access brightness surly.

That and joined mumset where discovered

kids could read before they started school
that they level 3 in reception.
that yinger kids were om way higher reading bands as everyone knows life successs is determined by ORT and flipping biff ad chip.
close mates daughter same year july born is convinced =hers is gifted and talented and mines in special ed group.
shes behind most of her year group.

god where did it all go wrong?
fast foward a year.

new school more rounded appreciate her sporting/artistic work and now shes ajunior having a stab at uncovering some musical ability,

no longer assocate with parents who discuss and compare nc levels.

stopped worrying about dc2 and dc3.

dc 3 age 2.5 not speakng so get all sorts of comments.

thinking one day he will rule the world so ignoring all bright speaking 12month olds.

They all my lttle stars where they shoot or what strengths will be who knows?

Im just trying give them opportunities to have fun and learn thats best i can do.

It would be great to rerun this thread in 20 years time - find some 'bright' DCs fallen by the wayside because their exceptional needs weren't met and some of the worrying parents now relaxed and happy at their v successful DCs.

Everyone develops at their own pace.

I have 2 DC who are above average, 1 DC who is average and 1 DC who is struggling at school.
DD1 is at college but when she was at school she was above average.
I find that in rl I am only allowed to mention my average and struggling DC so when I come on MN it's nice that I can mention my 2 above average DC.

I believe that everyone is good at something whether is a certain sport, academic subject a vocational subject. I also believe that it is a parents job to help a child find what they are good at.
So that would mean that every-one is above average just not at everything (except my dd who is above average at everything obviously)

JustinB's, you aren't generally wishing children to fail through lack of relevant support just because the school or parent has given them a bright label are you? What a shitty thing to say.

I know plenty of very bright kids that are being completely failed by the education system, so that remark makes me think you know very little about the subject.

There are bright kids with all sorts of disabilities who are being routinely failed. We don't really need to hear your sense of glee at the prospect.

Hmm, I know what you mean OP. I also think there is a deeply entrenched sentiment that bright children are worth more than children who are not bright. It's sad and wrong.

I've never said my children are very bright. I'm not one of those parents who feels the need to be competitive about what book box my child is on etc. Like you I think there is so much more to a person than whether or not they are academic.

I am proud of all 5 of my DC and their achievements. When I talk about my above average DC I'm not being competitive or showing off, I'm just being factual.
I've found that in rl average and struggling children are worth more than bright children.
This is why I stand on my own in the playground so I don't have play down my bright children.
When I talk about my bright children I find that I have to mention my average and struggling DC as well but when I'm talking about my average and struggling DC I don't have to mention my bright DC iyswim.

No that's not what I meant. Did I mention disabilities??

I agree with MrsDV, everything she said. DS1 wants to be a professional footballer but I have said he ought to train as a plumber in case that doesn't work out.

People need plumbers, and they are always very busy, and hard to get hold of. They do very nicely.

I am fed up of hearing about Uni and A* Grades, and anything else being a disappointment.

What if the DSs don't want to go to Uni?

Some of the brightest kids I've met have also been the most stupid, and some of the academically struggling have been the brightest and wisest.

Bright means different things to different people.

People are more likely to post about their children's most positive aspects even when asking for help about a difficulty.

Half of any population is above average.

Those three factors in combination explain why you see plenty of posts saying children are bright.

I have posted saying that my children are very academically able. That's because it has been relevant to the post for some reason. I have been told that they are very academically able for years and it is regularly used as a justification for giving them inadequate support, e.g. Don't worry about Minigold missing a whole year of lessons. She's very bright and will have no problem catching up

I post that ds is bright sometimes, but when it relevant (not just as a brag :) though its something I would rarely mention irl so because mn is virtually anonymous it feels ok!)

However I agree 'bright' is very vague and that it is perfectly possible to be bright in some ways but then below average in others, so it's a bit of a red herring.. But if we wanted to dissect the semantics of every turn of phrase used on here we'd be here all day. I think most people get the gist when someone says their dc are 'bright', and if not the poster can always be asked for more detail.

Ds teachers describe him as intelligent rather tha bright. DD is described as extremely bright by most of her teachers.
Golmandra you need to go back and learn the meaning of average. The half the population is above average is not the definition of average they are talking about when it comes to education.

the trouble with uni these days is anyone can go and get pointless degrees, when my two eldest went it seemed like the entire school is pushed to go to uni get themselves in debt for a degree that will not do them any good in rl, they would be much better on apprenticeships or working in thier chosen fields, everyman and his dog has a degree these days, however apart from the doctors/lawyers etc..type careers, the high earning jobs do not go to graduates at all, they seem to go to the people who put in a ton of hard work along the way, that is not to say that low wage earners dont work hard(iykwim) thats another argument that I dont want to start , my actual point was that all kids are expected to go to uni, in the playground of our reception class parents are talking about uni(remember they are 4 and 5 at the moment) too much touchy feely everyones a genius approach is not a good idea kids need to know where thier strengths lie and work to them, not be made to feel like crap cos that cant hit the academic highs, yes uni is a great acheivement but you know in RL someone has to empty the bins, someone has to work in the supermarket, someone has to flip the burgers, these are not second rate citizens jobs I dont want to feel embarrassed that my job is cleaning in a residential home, if my dd2 doesnt go to uni its not the end of the world

besides I have 2 older ones (ds 1st in physics masters this one cannot be trusted with anything requiring common sense, dd1 doing biomedical science,classed as average at school ) of course I think both are very "bright" so can now rest on laurels for dd2 (age4) pmsl.(btw Im bragging here lol)

used to think I was bright but my life is distinctly average

like someone already said if everyone is above average then isnt that average?

Bright is in the eye of the beholder. My brother is a genius but suffers from learning difficulties most likely undiagnosed dyslexia. My parents were told they were deluded for expecting him to go to university but he did and he thrived. He now owns a multi million pound business and has a fabulous work life balance enough to say he can be happy with what he has achieved. It was his parents knowledge that he was truly bright and never giving up on him when the system had that got him to where he is today. my parents taught him French having never done it themselves, English and Irish when his school refused to and you cannot go to university without them here. Basically believing your child is bright when no one else does is really important for the child.

I'm intelligent (IQ tested at 146), done fuck all with it, DD (5) is what I'd say was a happy average, great stuff, very happy.

I only care that she is happy and enjoys life, 'intelligent' 'bright' or not.

I think the attitude to learning difficulties have changeds lot neunundneunzigluftballoons. Ds has dylexia and school looked past that and he has been in top sets all the way through secondary. Completely different to when my dh was a child when he was in remedial classes even though he was clearly very bright