I divorced 5 years ago and we had a shared care agreement and it was all OK at the time. When I started dating and then remarried my Ex went nuts and had lots of issues with DD not being returned. It ended up in court and we spent 2 years there after ex made many serious allegations against me and my new spouse. It was all disproved but lots of hurt done and judge put down a residence order and some prohibitive steps as Ex is foreign and a flight risk. Ex has decided not to work but we have good income and provide for DD fine. Ex tried to claim maintenance for the 3 days (2 overnights) each week DD has contact and also tried to get the child bens. That didn't pan out as CSA rightly realized maintenance should be other way around so case closed.
DD is now 6 and doing great at school - been reading well above her year group for two years and I am very proud of her.
So in the last year every contact between DD and Ex has happened but Ex randomly turns up late on returning dd by anything up to an hour. Possessions like clothes and school items get damaged. Ex picks up from school on Thu so damages school uniform/breaks school things "accidentally" - dd tells us it was on purpose but we cannot be sure.
DD claims she has a good time but also states Ex smacks her and that she does not behave when there. DD is really well behaved in my care and no issues at school but she is spirited and requires a firm hand and very well defined boundaries. I tried to tell Ex how to handle DD when they admitted some issues but suddenly Ex denies they have problems. However DD still discloses almost every week they have been punished/smacked for misbehaving.
I never ask DD about contact other than asking her is she had a good time and making sure she knows I am happy when she says yes. I don't want to overshadow her relationship with my Ex and don't bad mouth and just put up with the annoyances Ex throws my way. When dd makes disclosures I don't react so I don't think its attention seeking or seeking my approval.
Lately Ex has been demanding they want equal parenting time under a shared residence order. Arrangements never worked when we had one before and only have since I have had residence and DD spent mroe time with me instead of equal. It was a cafcass recommendation that this was the best way which judge agreed with. I said no and a week later Ex demanded my permission to take dd out of the country which I again said no to as I still believe I won't see dd again. Ex has no ties to this country especially as not working.
I now have received a request to attend mediation although it does not say what is needed to mediate over but it will cost me to attend in both lost wages and cost of the session. AIBU to tell mediators and Ex there is nothing to discuss as court has sorted it all out last year? Could this be a ploy to get an FM1 and drag us back into court?