Maybe a bit of a long one, but I will try and stick to basic facts.
I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 9. He also abused his own 4 year old daughter. It took a long time for all of this to come out, but when it did about 4-5 years ago, I was relieved as it meant I never had to speak to him or see him again.
My Mum, Step-Dad and 2 sisters still speak to him.
Anyway, my Step-Dad and Mum child-mind my 8 year old son and have done for quite a while. (I pay them the going rate to do this, as I think it's the right and fair thing to do). Anyway, over the years there have been the odd times when my brother has visited my parents house and obviously I have kept my son away.
I have just found out that we have an Ofsted inspection at work next week and phoned my parents to ask if they could have my son over to stay a couple of nights, as I will have early starts and late finishes. I was then told that my brother will be there next week. Regardless of Ofsted, it is Thursday and they hadn't yet told me that they weren't going to be able to look after my son next week.
I am really angry and upset for the following reasons:
They have left it really late to let me know my brother will be at their house next week, so this leaves me with a child-minding problem for next week. I only knew because I asked about him staying over, so it could have been even more last minute.
I also feel very angry that they are putting a self-confessed child abuser before my son. I won't have my son in the company of a child-abuser and they know that, but are still having my brother to stay. The reason for this is he hasn't been to stay for 2 years. My view is that my son should take priority over someone who abuses children.
My parents think I am being unreasonable and my Step-Dad seems to think I shouldn't be bothered, as the rest of the family don't see it as an issue. I see it as an issue, as I was one of the children my brother abused and I will not be putting my son at risk.
My sisters son, who is nearly 6, will be staying there for 3 nights, while my brother is also in the house.
So, am I being unreasonable or are my parents?