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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please pay for swimming. Thanks.

27 replies

foslady · 12/09/2013 18:55

OK - 1st actual post in here, and I've had a crap day so it could be me, but....

Friday dd comes home from school with a letter to say swimming lessons through the school start this week. There is a voluntary request for a sum of money to cover costs. On the letter it says the cost is voluntary. That the money can be paid weekly, or on one lump sum in either cash, cheque or by parentmail account. On Monday I sent dd with a cheque for the full amount. On Tuesday we got a Parentmail reminder saying

'Please pay for swimming. Thanks'

I was a bit narked at this as to me it implies that the payment is mandatory, but after checking with dd that she'd handed the cheque in - she was certain she had, telling me it was done during registration, and always has before (and checking school bag and coat for the envelope with the cheque in!) ignored it. Opening my emails today I have just found ANOTHER request saying the same.

AIBU to email the school to say 2 reminders for a voluntary payment in a week is excessive? (FWIW, I have always have made the payments requested in the past and supported all the fundraising events - emails like this do nothing but put me off but I know I will still keep coughing up)

OP posts:

MrsFruitcake · 12/09/2013 18:57

DDs school has a voluntary payment of £30 per year to cover some trip costs. They send reminders too.

I paid it as late as possible last year, although we've already had two requests since they went back to school.

I feel your pain.

Oscarandelliesmum · 12/09/2013 19:00

Could it have been a groupcall?
We get them and they go out to the whole parent body or class in question....please can you note that the crossing lady is ill, dont forget gym kit tomorrow etc etc.
However they shouldnt be nagging if ut was a voluntary payment.

kotinka · 12/09/2013 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kinkyfuckery · 12/09/2013 19:03

Do you have the ability to text back? I'd text back telling them to fuck off it's a 'voluntary' contribution, one that you've already made and you would appreciate they stop requesting it again

BrokenSunglasses · 12/09/2013 19:05

If it came through text rather than email then I can see why it's quite so blunt, but it does come across badly.

We have had very politely worded emails reminding people to pay but not twice within three days of the letter coming out. They are being pushy, but I would guess that means that there are still a large number of parents that haven't paid.

Original poster

foslady · 12/09/2013 19:06

I have actually emailed them. The letter they sent clearly stated voluntary. I get that they need extra funds to do extra stuff, and swimming is important, but just find this a bit rude - they only went back last Thursday and the only communication we've had from the school is this - and I know the LEA sent out packs last friday for school choices!!!

OP posts:

BrokenSunglasses · 12/09/2013 19:17

You know they don't actually share the sentiment that it's voluntary? They say it because they have to, not because they mean it.

To be fair to them, they do need parents to pay. They don't have to be quite so rude about it though.

noblegiraffe · 12/09/2013 19:23

They have to say payment is voluntary because it is run during school time, but if parents don't pay then the school is screwed. So please do pay for swimming. Thanks.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/09/2013 19:26

It was a thoughtless groupcall text from a receptionist/admin person in a rush. Ignore

Original poster

foslady · 12/09/2013 19:30

Don't worry Nobel, I will! The previous head didn't really do many off school activities (or extra curricula on school ones), and I know how the donations help to give a wider education, so whilst I am a position to pay I will - but if I couldn't afford to, I'd be mortified at receiving two reminders so quickly.

OP posts:

Original poster

foslady · 16/09/2013 18:20

Oh for crying out loud - they've sent TWO today, one at 8:30 and one at 1:30!!! Still waiting for a reply to my email though..........

OP posts:

SybilRamkin · 16/09/2013 18:51

YANBU, I think that's pretty shabby. And two reminders in one day is bordering on harassment! Any parent who can't pay will be seriously worried at this level of contact.

vj32 · 16/09/2013 19:48

Voluntary means people who can pay need to pay otherwise the event/trip won't happen.

MrsCakesPremonition · 16/09/2013 19:53

If parents can't pay, then they need to contact the school so that the school can cancel the booking with the swimming pool and coach company before they start losing deposits etc.

Original poster

foslady · 16/09/2013 20:38

But I have paid. I'm lucky enough to be in the position to afford it as I have every time we've been asked for contributions, and I'm still getting the messages. In the 6 school days since we got the letters that's 4 reminders. And you can pay weekly. What about the parents that can't pay? Or are paying for a couple of weeks separately whilst they get paid next week?

That's why I'm getting fed up

OP posts:

Turniptwirl · 16/09/2013 20:38

That is excessive!

They need to send a proper message saying that they need as many parents as possible to pay ASAP (or let them know when they can pay or arrange regular installments). Explain that it is voluntary but if nobody pays or only a few pay then either this can't run or something else will be cut to fund it. Explain that anyone in genuine difficulties should contact them in confidence to discuss options.

Yanbu to complain, especially as you've paid already!

Original poster

foslady · 16/09/2013 20:39

So far that's 2 emails in one week, and another 2 in one day.

OP posts:

Relaxedandhappyperson · 16/09/2013 20:41

You could ask if their message-sending function is broken, as surely they couldn't possibly have asked you 4 times in 3 days for this money which you've already bloody paid.

Original poster

foslady · 16/09/2013 20:41

They did Turniptwirl, the initial letter they sent stated that payment could be weekly or lump sum in cash, cheque or via parentmail. That's the other reason why it's grating on me - it's the opposite of the letter

OP posts:

Delayingtactic · 16/09/2013 20:44

Gosh that is rude. I get the whole parental contribution thing but I feel bad for the parents who can't pay and already feel sad about it. Another reminder about the state of their finances is probably the last thing they need.

I'd probably be at the stage where everytime they sent a reminder email, I'd send a complaint email in.

nickelbabe · 16/09/2013 20:45

I think you should also send in a paper letter explaining everything you've said here - tone and wording rude. excessive frequency, people whohave paid not being acknowldged, those who can't feeling harrassed, and it being weekly, voluntary.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 16/09/2013 20:51

Just don't get me started on Parentmail! I've had the opposite problem, with paying up in advance by Parentmail and still getting the letters and reminders from school (and no adjustments to what Parentmail says I owe). I thought the problem was with Parentmail so I paid by cheque for one term and it just made matters worse. This is for fees of over £100 per term, and it went on for over 4 terms. Despite me sending repeated emails to the school and phoning them they still didn't readjust the Parentmail settings on my account and threatened to cancel lessons! Eventually I made copies of my bank statements showing the payments to the school and sent them, with copies of the repeated emails, to the school. Handed them to receptionist and waited for an answer.
It was cleared up at this point, but I still have a low opinion of Parentmail.

yegodsandlittlefishes · 16/09/2013 20:51

(Although I think ours is called ParentPay).

Dobbiesmum · 16/09/2013 21:00

Hang on, DS's school is ditching Parentmail because (and I quote the member of staff here) it was the worst idea they had ever had.
They've had no end of problems with it since they got it. We (me and DH) got sent emails and texts about the same thing, I got 2 texts and an email, he got 1 text and 4 emails.
There have been problems there I think! S it could be a technical issue.

SPBisResisting · 16/09/2013 21:05

PLEASE PAY FOR SWIMMING
Thanks
Head x

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