To not want a potters wheel for my birthday?

[Fox82]

It's my birthday today and DH has bought me a potters wheel! Amazing, as I really wanted one but....

We had an offer accepted on a house 3 months ago and it had an attached garage. I said I'd love a potters wheel to put in the garage and had an idea DH was buying me one for my birthday. We were due to exchange on the house last Wednesday, but on Tuesday the seller said she didn't want to sell anymore so we're back to square 1. Almost unbelievably, this is the 4th time this has happened to us.

I tried to stay positive for DH as he's a bit of a worrier but I did have a few tears due to the frustration of it all, and tearily said I had an idea he was getting me a potters wheel but if he has then please don't give it to me (as it wouldn't be suitable for our tiny rented flat with cream carpets)

So obviously I open my present from him this morning and it was a potters wheel. I didn't want to seem ungrateful and tried to explain gently that I wouldn't be able to use it now, but he seemed so hurt and tried to get me to watch YouTube videos of people using it and not being messy! He knows how much I hate mess, especially in a rented flat! I ended up getting upset as I've obviously hurt his feelings and I feel so bad for not being 100% positive about a gift, and now he's upset for "ruining my birthday"

AIBU to see if we can send it back or should I try and turn it around and just be grateful and try and use it where we are. We won't be trying to buy another house any time soon

Buy a big plastic floor mat to stand it on? Camping supplies shops sell groundsheets in all sizes and they are just about everything proof. I think we even got a couple of small ones in the pound shop - they aren't as robust but they would do to keep the carpet clean.

Thanks pombear. I thought of that, and if we end up keeping it that's what I'll probably do. But our flat is very very small, so it would have to go in the middle of the living room and be put away when not in use (but where to put it I have no idea!) I can see that it'd end up not being used as it would be heavy/bulky to keeping getting it out and putting it away, and I'd end up feeling guilty for not using it.

Well it was probably too late for him to send it back and get you something else, so I can understand why he gave it to you. If you really aren't going to use it then see if you can send it back.

Oh and sorry about the house falling through. That's rough :(.

but it WILL end off being used, because you WILL find somewhere absolutely perfect for you both. See it as a talisman of hope. he sounds like a lovely, considerate man.

Thank you He really is wonderful and we're both feeling down that we've upset each other Plus I've been feeling down anyway due to other things not going right in our lives so think its just at sad time, and looking at the gift just makes me think of the house thing not happening again. That's a good way to look at it aitch - I need to start feeling positive again that we will find somewhere

YANBU - if you don't want something you don't want it. It was a bit egotistical of your DH to go ahead and give it to you after you'd asked him not to. But it's a present, so accept it with grace. Remember, you will get another house sometime. And it will have enough space for you to use the wheel without worrying about mess. So try and be big about it and smile, put it away for now if you really can't stand to use it in the flat and think of it as even more incentive to start looking again for the house you really want.

Sorry about your house, its happened to me twice and put our move back a year. Your dh sound lovely; I've never has such a thoughtful present (usually get a saucepan or something for the car). I think you should return it and get it again next year. Your partner was probably trying to keep one dream alive for you, he is realllllly nice or maybe has other fantasies involving a potters wheel! .

i like the idea that he was trying to keep the dream alive, that's sweet. happy birthday to you!

Thanks everyone for being so kind - this is my first post in AIBU and I was expecting a lot worse!!!

I've asked DH if he minds me keeping it boxed up until we move and told him how much I love it. He said that's fine and he's sorry for being insensitive, but maybe we could try it out to see how messy it is as it might not be too bad. So I said we can get a big ground sheet today and have a go later or tomorrow

Lol at the thought of him having potters wheel fantasies!

And fx jellybean that you'll get a non-saucepan related present this year

Maybe this will make you see it in a different light

Sorry about the house falling through

What I want to know is where you are going to put the kiln?
(knows nothing about pottery except you have to incinerate it after making)

You can use air dry clay. I used this on a potters wheel at a festival recently.

YABU for being extremely reasonable in AIBU.

Sorry about the house, it's really emotional stuff, and you are both in a tizzwazz because of it.

It sounds like a fabulous present and the idea behind it was lovely. It would have been perfect if your purchase had come through.

I don't think I'd be comfortable using it in a rented house, especially if there want the space to store it. I'd want to sell it and spend the money on doing something special to cheer you both up.