To be a bit upset

[Tiredtrout]

I know this is probably unreasonable and I'm just feeling sorry for myself, my dm is terminally ill and in the final few weeks.

We managed to get her out of hospital and home following a lot of issues with her care. I was driving to visit 3 times a week with the 150 mile round trip and going whenever asked to as well.

On Sunday I went to see mum with my sisters, as always this visit took up my whole day. During the visit mum said some things which I feel were spiteful, I'm sure I'm taking it out of context but she said I was most like her sister who irritates her and that I'm always saying the wrong thing. I didn't say anything. When I left I said that I would visit Again today.

I phoned them this morning as I do every day to see how the night went and I was told not to come today but to go tomorrow while they're out and clean their house.

I'm so sorry Trout. I have been following your threads. I lost my mum in July to cancer also. Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I sadly lost my dad 5 months ago. Your grief is personal and individual. But you do not need to be alone in your grief. You will be in my thoughts.

I'm very sorry for your loss Trout, I'm going through a similar situation to you and I hope I can be as gracious and caring as you have been

Sorry to hear the sad news trout - May your dear mum, rest in peace.

So sorry

So sorry for your loss trout.

So sorry trout, wishing you strength and peace.

I'm so sorry to hear. I can't imagine how hard this is.

I hope the following is of comfort to you, sorry if it isn't...

I remember when my grandfather was in his final week, I was 20 but he brought me up so I was very close to him and distraught to be loosing him. He went through a stage where for a few days he said awful things, got very confused and awkward. He said things to my grandmother like 'you caused this' and other hurtful things. She found it incredibly hard.

The nurses at the time told us lots of people who know they are going to die go through an anger and denial stage, taking things out on those around them and being very confused while also mentally starting to shut down.

It is really hard, but knowing those things helped me to grieve for him and not remember the horrific week before he went, but the amazing memories I had of him.

Thinking of you xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss Tiredtrout, I'm relieved to hear that the end was as peaceful as possible.

My mum is terminally ill, and we lost my dad unexpectedly 6 weeks ago. My mum has behaved oddly at times, and has said things which seem cruel, uncaring, or just completely out of character. She knows she is not going to get better and she's dosed up on morphine. On top of this, she is grieving for my dad. But I have still found her behaviour and comments very hard to take at times, even though I know why it is happening.

Seeing a parent go through this experience is unbelievably painful and my heart goes out to you.

I'm so sorry. I hope her passing was peaceful and that you are comforted by the knowledge of how much you helped your mum.

I'm so sorry for your loss Tiredtrout, what a dreadfully sad time for you, I'm glad that at the end your Mum passed peacefully.

I hope you don't mind, but I have copied out a poem by Alden Nowlen which I found to be a comfort in similar circumstances to your own

"This is What I Wanted to Sign Off With"

You know what I’m
like when I`m sick: I’d sooner
curse than cry. And people don’t often
know what they’re saying in the end.
Or I could die in my sleep.
So I’ll say it now. Here it is.
Don’t pay any attention
if I don’t get it right
when it is for real. Blame that
on terror and pain
or the stuff they’re shooting
into my veins.
This is what I wanted to sign off with.
Bend closer, listen,
I love you.

Tired, I am so sorry.

Wishing you strength and love in the coming days x

Tired so sorry. Much love

so sorry for your loss

Thank you for all your thoughts, her passing was calm and all of her instructions have so far been followed to the letter right down to the champagne

Love the sound of the champagne TiredTrout!

If you feel like it, at any point, there are a group of us posting on here who have lost parents. It's a very friendly thread where you can have a rant or ramble or a laugh.

Kurri Kurri, thank you for that poem