Please dont be too vocal - i feel a bit vulnerable at the moment- need someone just to say everything will be okay. 3 months ago everything was lovely then i ended up in A&E having an emergency op - i am in remission from cancer and my chemo left my immune system a bit iffy - had to have an emergency appendectomy- worrying time - my husband was brill.
Had some sick leave and was feeling so much better - the week before i was due to go back to work was just lovely with him - then i had a phone call from his boss to say my hubby had been taken ill at work and was in hospital - went there expecting to see him laughing and moaning in bed about missing golf at the weekend but was met by a young doctor whose face said it all. My whole world collapsed in that instant.
My husband was only 55 and we had our whole future together - telling my 3 sons was the worst thing ever. I negotiated with work to return for a 4 day contract instead of full time - they agreed and that started this month - financially i will just about manage - we had paid off the mortgage and i can cope on my wage as we have a bit of savings.
My manager has just phoned to say that there had been a meeting and the company is being restructured some jobs are going but no-one is made redundant but i have to go to completely new offices and do a different job- i know i am lucky that i wont be redundant but i am a panicky person - it takes me ages to pick up new things and i just need some time to cope with everything that is happening - but it is all to be done within the next few weeks.
I just feel so overwhelmed by life at the moment - this restructuring happened quite a few years ago and it shattered me but i eventually got used to my new place of work and new role but what got me through it was my husband saying whats the worst that could happen but now the worst has happened.
I am sorry if this does not make sense i am trying to convince myself it will work out