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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

not AIBU but just give me a bit of perspective

7 replies

bymyside · 11/09/2013 16:52

Please dont be too vocal - i feel a bit vulnerable at the moment- need someone just to say everything will be okay. 3 months ago everything was lovely then i ended up in A&E having an emergency op - i am in remission from cancer and my chemo left my immune system a bit iffy - had to have an emergency appendectomy- worrying time - my husband was brill.

Had some sick leave and was feeling so much better - the week before i was due to go back to work was just lovely with him - then i had a phone call from his boss to say my hubby had been taken ill at work and was in hospital - went there expecting to see him laughing and moaning in bed about missing golf at the weekend but was met by a young doctor whose face said it all. My whole world collapsed in that instant.

My husband was only 55 and we had our whole future together - telling my 3 sons was the worst thing ever. I negotiated with work to return for a 4 day contract instead of full time - they agreed and that started this month - financially i will just about manage - we had paid off the mortgage and i can cope on my wage as we have a bit of savings.

My manager has just phoned to say that there had been a meeting and the company is being restructured some jobs are going but no-one is made redundant but i have to go to completely new offices and do a different job- i know i am lucky that i wont be redundant but i am a panicky person - it takes me ages to pick up new things and i just need some time to cope with everything that is happening - but it is all to be done within the next few weeks.

I just feel so overwhelmed by life at the moment - this restructuring happened quite a few years ago and it shattered me but i eventually got used to my new place of work and new role but what got me through it was my husband saying whats the worst that could happen but now the worst has happened.

I am sorry if this does not make sense i am trying to convince myself it will work out

OP posts:
Dahlen · 11/09/2013 16:58

I'm so, so sorry. Sad

You've had such a tough time of it, I'm not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed. I can't say anything to make it all better; the only advice I can give you is to talk, talk and talk about all this to anyone who will listen - family, friends, MN.

You've managed to handle so much, it's probably likely that you will deal with this. One day at a time if you have to. And although it's a cliché, time is a great healer (doesn't make it any less painful, but makes the pain easier to deal with). With a resilience like yours, I'd be very surprised if you don't have people in RL who are more than prepared to rally round you and be supportive. Take their help.

Good luck with the new job and my condolences on your loss. Flowers

SueDoku · 11/09/2013 18:27

^^ Couldn't agree more with Dahlen who has put it far better than I could... Sad

You and your DS will come through this together - talk to friends and family - and MN - and go easy on yourself, you have done SO well, and you will get through this awful, awful time..

All the very best, and my deepest sympathy for your loss Flowers

bymyside · 11/09/2013 18:29

ITS ALL CHANGED - there are no vacancies - the redundancy letters have gone out - so in even more of a panic- i just feel sick

OP posts:
Moetlovermuvver · 11/09/2013 18:30

Dahlen has put it so well. I'm so sorry for your loss.

OliviaPope · 11/09/2013 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pickle131 · 11/09/2013 19:50

Will the redundancy buy you some time? I think the only way to think about all this is that it's a new start. Of course it's not one you ever wanted, but good and exciting things will be around the corner for you, you'll see. In the meantime, don't expect too much of yourself, rest and try to do a little something for enjoyment each day. Feeling for you
:-(

GibbyS · 11/09/2013 20:01

You could contact Cruse Bereavement Care. They can listen and help you get some perspective.

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