to expect someone to have a general idea about parents health?

[wintersdawn]

not exact knowledge nessecairly but a general idea or at least where in the house you'd look for it.
This is following a conversation with dh re both sets of aging parents and a health screening he's had at work. the questionnaire asked about history and he genuinely didn't know his, had no idea what his parents were taking if anything (we know fil has ms but it's never mentioned and they don't even know that I know). this led to a talk about what if god forbid something happened to them and the hospital asked what medication are they taking? now I know my mum has thyroid and blood pressure issues and might not know exact dosages but would be able to locate all her pills within two mins of being in her house.
so aibu to think dh should consider choosing an appropriate moment to have a general conversation along these lines? or is it something that's considered overstepping the mark?

I think it completely depends on the people involved. MIL is fiercly independent, and it would therefore be wrong of me to push her to give me details for my convenience. He doesn't know his father at all, so we have no clue of history there. My father tells everyone he knows everything about himself, even when I'd prefer not to know. Mum is half and half - she'll mention stuff if it seems important that we know it, but wouldn't necessarily give me a list of all her medications for non-hereditary things. It's not my business. She, as an adult, has a right to keep these things to herself, and any hospital she goes into will just have to deal with that.

I'm on a medication which needs highlighting to medical people. My husband (and mum) do know, but I carry a card in my wallet with my ID for in case there's an emergency situation.

When these histories are taken, they're a guideline, but I don't think medical people can reasonably expect everyone to know everything. It's more 'is there anything particular we should be looking out for?' If you say 'no', it's not like they'd stop looking, but if you said 'Huntingdons' then then it would help them with a diagnosis for you if you presented with those symptoms.

In short, it's a matter of finding the right level of information that both your MIL and your DH are comfortable with.

My parents take a lot of medication. I couldn't list it to you, but I could tell you where they keep medications in their house, so could find it if need be.

I guess if he has a general gist and was able to tell a hospital/doctor that they are on medication and not to administer any before checking their medical records, should be sufficient?

You could suggest it to him. In my experience the accepted norms about this, as with so many things, vary widely b/w families. In your inlaws don't like talking about things like this then not doing so will be normal to your dh.

My parents are both young (fifties) and the only health issues are my mum's asthma and my dad has mild asperger's as well. I wouldn't know anything about blood types or genetic conditions, though.

My parents have a list of their meds and medical conditions in the fridge. It's in a tub labeled with a big red cross.

Similar to this US programme www.vialoflife.com/

I think it would be better for the NHS to have a database that all health services can access to find out about medication quickly when they need to.

Not everyone will want to share their medical information with their families, and there are enough people that don't have families or anyone to look out for them that will still need their medical team to know what medication they are on.

I'd need a database to tell you all the medications my parents are on! I can tell you their main problems, and mostly thats all anyone needs. But I do know their GP and pharmacy and where all medications are in their house.

I have no idea about the PIL and dh doesn't either - but we don't need to be involved with their health at the moment, unlike my parents

sashh I like the idea of a red tube. might need to work a way of getting that into a conversation.