To expect an 11year old to put himself to bed?

[ihearthuckabees]

My DS still insists I go upstairs with him at bedtime, because he's scared. I am afraid I slightly lost it last night and said he should have got over being scared by now, which of course just made him more upset and even less likely to put himself to bed.

AIBU to expect him to take himself off to bed. Don't mind going up to tuck him in, but just sick of all the 'watching him brush his teeth and faff around getting ready' stuff when I could be relaxing on the sofa .

Note: we don't live in a big scary house, with echoey rooms or spooky corridors in the middle of nowhere, like you see in horror films. It's a cosy, 1970s 'box' in a pleasant estate.

Awww bless him, he just wants a kiss goodnight from him mum in his room. It won't last long and isn't that what being a mum is all about?

Ds is 12 and showers and cleans teeth then comes down to say goodnight, he goes up to read and either Dh or I go up about half an hour later to tell him to turn hiss light out. Tbh it's that time that ds is most likely to be open and chatty and tell us any of his worries/problems. Long may it continue.

and ds would kill me but still needs his door open at night with landing light on as do most of his mates according to their mums

I love laying on my 9yo's bed and asking her about her day, and the best bits of it.
I ask her to go over the pleasant and funny moments, but if she's worried about something Ill listen of course. However, after a little chat to name the fear, we put worries aside for the night, literally, we have a dropping mime.

I always ask her to name two good things that happened before she nods off though, so her mind is in a positive frame.

It's too easy to mull over negative things and pander to the fears, but I feel its more constructive for their mental health to get them to recollect the empowering and funny things that happened.

Accentuate the positive, ya know?

Well strangely enough, my 11 year old DS seems to be going through this phase too. Suddenly really nervous about going upstairs on his own! Never had a problem with this before and he has 3 younger siblings who are normally upstairs too so I'm not sure what's going on?!

I'm not making a big deal of it has he's just started Secondary School and is a bit 'on edge' as it were at the moment. We don't live in a creepy house either but his imagination is definitely fired up at the moment!

I tend to go upstairs at the same time, potter around in my bedroom for a bit until he's settled. He doesn't want me hovering over him while he's cleaning his teeth thank goodness.

I think it's hormones, they are still quite young but in big bodies. A mix of everything. Ds came and sat on my lap they other day and was quite annoyed he didn't fit anymore!