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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not give up my room.

21 replies

Coast2Coast · 10/09/2013 09:54

I am a student and live with three housemates. We have a friend staying in the lounge for a few weeks. One of my (official) housemates is having a band to stay tonight as his band is playing with them, and months ago he offered them the lounge. This is obviously now not available. I said weeks ago he could give the band his room, stay in my room and I'd stay at my boyfriend's. I have since split with said boyfriend. AIBU to not give up my room even though I said I would previously?

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 10/09/2013 09:56

Well if you don't have anywhere else to stay now, then of course not. The deal was made in different circumstances.

I wouldn't have thought a band would have a problem with sleeping in the lounge

Original poster

Coast2Coast · 10/09/2013 09:56

Oh and the friend in the lounge is my housemate's friend more than mine. And I don't want to share with my housemate as he's being vaguely creepy since I've been single. And I don't like sharing! And I have work tomorrow.

OP posts:

Original poster

Coast2Coast · 10/09/2013 09:57

The lounge has someone else staying in it semi-long-term so is not available any more.

OP posts:

Original poster

Coast2Coast · 10/09/2013 09:58

I mean, I could call a friend and arrange to stay at their house, but I don't want to sleep on the floor somewhere. I think my housemate should have explained months ago that the lounge is no longer available.

He is trying to make me feel guilty by saying he'll have to sleep in the corridor. I have suggested he buys a camp bed but he says he can't afford it (he can).

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 10/09/2013 09:58

But your bedroom has you staying in it and you pay rent, so is even less available.

They can all crash on the lounge floor if desperate, surely?

noblegiraffe · 10/09/2013 09:59

It's your housemate's problem, not yours. Stop worrying about it, say no, and let him sort it.

Original poster

Coast2Coast · 10/09/2013 10:01

Every time I've seen him in the last week he's brought it up though and he's really pressuring me. I think he wants me to say he can stay in my room, and I REALLY don't want him to. It's his friend in the lounge so he can share with him instead.

OP posts:

Runningchick123 · 10/09/2013 10:02

The housemate should share with the friend Whois currently in the lounge and the band should have the lounge. Failing that the band should pay for a cheap hotel room.

Seaweedy · 10/09/2013 10:08

YANBU. You no longer have the alternative place to stay that you did when you originally made the arrangement. Be firm. The irate housemate will either have to share the living room with the temporary inhabitant, or his bedroom with the band. His band, his issue.

QuintessentialOldDear · 10/09/2013 10:11

So who has invited all these people? How many of you are officially sharing? Do the lounge dweller and other guests pay anything towards rent and utilities, such as water/gas/electricity?

bigTillyMint · 10/09/2013 10:16

YANBU - your room, you get to decide who stays in it, which is you!

When I was young living in shared houses, we used to have extra's staying all the time for free

QuintessentialOldDear · 10/09/2013 10:17

Oh we also had "extras", they bought food and cooked dinner for us all on occasion! But they did not boot any of the official tenants out of their rooms!

Beastofburden · 10/09/2013 10:39

Friend comes out of lounge and shares with housemate. Band goes into lounge.

It's so obvious, I agree with you, he is being deliberately thick so that you end up sharing with him.

Aniseeda · 10/09/2013 11:06

They are his friends so some of them can bunk in the lounge and some in his room wherever they can find a space!

Stick to your guns on this one.

Lancelottie · 10/09/2013 11:11

Just keep saying 'Not my problem.'

He can go and stay with one of his friends. Why should you move?

QuintessentialOldDear · 10/09/2013 11:12

Yes, just say:

"Not my guests, not my problem"

elcranko · 10/09/2013 12:17

Don't give in OP. Just say it was fine when you were going to stay at your boyfriends but as you are no longer together then your room is no longer available as you will be in it.

Why should you have to find somewhere else to stay? They're not even your guests! Just keep saying no and stick to it. It's your housemate's problem, not yours. Let him sort it.

WilsonFrickett · 10/09/2013 12:21

'No, my room is not available.
[houseguest 1] should share with you, then the band can have the lounge.'

Repeat as necessary.

Perhaps follow up with:

'Gosh housemate 1, if you keep going on about sharing my room I'll start to think you are trying to get in to my pants. Never. Gonna. Happen.'

Laugh then leave the room.

McNewPants2013 · 10/09/2013 13:11

tell him that you will only give up your room if he pays for a B&B.

Beastofburden · 10/09/2013 13:30

not such a bad idea- if you have to work tomorrow you can bet the house will be disrupted and noisy tonight, plus you have Creepy Housemate hoping to get lucky.... ask for a hotel though. With spa.

Beastofburden · 10/09/2013 13:32

in my young days I shared a house with some Aussies, and as a result we literally never saw the living room, it was permanently occupied by visiting mates doing Europe. It was up to them how many they could squash in, no way did we regulars offer up a room unless we were going to be away- and if the plans changed, tough.

Flip