I genuinely can't tell if I'm BU but DH thinks I am and he's usually pretty level headed so perhaps I am.
DSD lives with us full time. Her mother is currently seeing her regularly (one eve a week) but over the years this has been hit and miss.
Her mother does not pay maintenance, nor does she contribute 'in kind' with school stuff etc.
She is not very together, currently in her brothers spare room etc, but she does currently work full time.
She gets really shitty when asked for even tiny amounts of money, for example, she once took dsd to school (that's right, ONCE!) and I asked her if she could pay the £2 for her lunch. DSD came home saying 'it is YOUR job to pay or me, mummy doesn't have ANY money, how dare you make her pay for my lunch.
She also once told me she couldn't have her overnight more because 'she is a greedy little pig who eats me out of house and home'.
I am on mat leave at the mo and we are really struggling for money. DH will not ask her for maintenance. He says it is not worth the fight, and she will moan about it to dsd, and, as generally we are higher earners than her when I'm working, it is not worth it.
DSd desperately needs a new school coat. She has just started at a new school so needed all new uniform and we just can't afford it.
Usually I would ask PIL if they would mind but if you've seen my thread about the swimming costume stealing MIL you will understand why I can't.
My mum has said she will happily buy it for her but I think out f principle we should be making DSDs mum buy it, she has never before bought a single item of clothing.
AIBU? Or should I just get over it?