to be feeling so guilty about this that I feel physically sick?

[gintastic]

I'm returning to work on Thursday from maternity leave. It's my 3rd time, have 3 gorgeous kids. However, work has been gradually more and more unenjoyable over the last 3 years, and last Friday I was offered a new job. More money, easier commute, more interesting work, more responsibility - it's basically the next step up in my career. It's perfect hours, 8-2 on 2 days a week and 8-5.30 on 2 days - one day off, so I get plenty of time after school with kids.

So basically I'm going back to hand my notice in, work it and leave. There are no implications with paying mat pay back, although I think I will owe them some holiday (3 days max which is OK)

I got a text from a very good friend at work saying they were looking forward to seeing me and getting back into projects.

Now I just feel sick with guilt. 2 months ago I had decides to make the best of a bad job and gone to a meeting full of (slightly fake) enthusiasm, on the basis that if I am happy and cheery, it might actually come through.

This new job was advertised about a month ago and is just perfect for me. I wish the timing has been better, but it wasn't. It is what it is. So I applied and have been offered it.

I actually feel sick with guilt now. Which is stupid really, but is it a logical reaction or should I be sticking with the old job?

Just think - you have created the chance for someone else to get their dream job.

Timing is fine, they have been coping without you haven't they?

Here's another way of looking at it: if you were to stay (and you'd be mad to like we're all saying) nobody would thank you or give you any credit for having been 'considerate' enough to stay .

I did something similar in a way - second lot of maternity leave with the company, went to a meeting all full of enthusiasm.. then they were offering voluntary redundancy and after doing the maths I realised this worked out much better financially for our family than working and two lots of childcare, and it would allow me to be the SAHM I felt I wanted to be for at least a few years. So I took the redundancy.

I felt horrendously guilty too. Really, really guilty. These people were my friends, the company had been supportive of me expressing for DC1 and had let me work one day from home as well, and they were expecting me to come back and carry on as before. Worse, I'd been forced into four months sick leave (on full pay) due to serious complications with my pregnancy and had left very suddenly with a lot of unfinished work as a result. So I felt I owed them big time.

Yet everyone was really nice about it, well, to my face anyway ;-) I am pretty sure my "important" boss fully understood and said as much - I have to do what I have to do. He's still my friend on FB five years later and we chat occasionally so he can't be that bitter! As are several other colleagues.

A year later there were compulsory redundancies and a year after that the company was swallowed up and scattered to the breeze.. in my case I was lucky to get out when I did. If you're not enjoying your job any more it could well be things could get a lot worse.

A company will dismiss an employee for business reasons without it being anything personal even if it screws the employee over.. so the same should apply to employees leaving too.

Good luck! You'll feel soooo much better when you've done the deed, I did. It's the fear of the reaction that scared me the most!

The hours in my current (soon to be ex) job are pretty good and flexible as well. They are not a bad company to work for, they really aren't - I just want something different now. Can't give too much detail as I might out myself, (possibly already have) but the new job is so much better in many ways.

Big girl pants waiting to be washed and ironed for Thursday...

You have done the right thing - you had to go in all enthusiastic because as far as you knew at the time, you were going to continue with that job. I really surprised some people when I left my last job as I had been full of enthusiasm, while interviewing for my present job. But when I explained the difference my new job would make to my family life everyone seemed very pleased for me.

Also you should never stay in a job because of the people, because they will all leave eventually and you will be left there wondering why you didn't leave sooner. I have some great friends from my last two jobs, but only one of them is still in that job.

When I left my second from last job it looked like a bad time of year for my employer to replace me. But my temporary replacement was fantastic and has now been there for 4.5 years and has been promoted considerably. I did them a real favour in leaving .

Go for the new job!

It's great that your current colleagues are looking forward to you coming back, but they have coped without you so they can do that again!

And congrats on your new role; it sounds like a great flexible one.

I resigned last week. I have been back from maternity leave for a while but not really enjoying it. Someone else left a few months ago so I feel like I am leaving them at a bad time but you have to do what is right for you and your family. You will feel much better when the deed is done.

OP think about it this way - right now there is one person at work dreading you coming back, and that is the temp who is working with no job security or long term future, in a good job with colleagues he has got to know over ten months.

Think of this as you gifting an opportunity to him. If he was any good, make sure you ring him up and give him the scoop that that job is coming up. If he has been doing it already for nearly a year he will be an excellent candidate.

It is a tough market and you could make a young temp starting out really happy as you skip off to your ideal job. Win win! Don't feel guilty!