Party Invitations-not whole class so how many?

[BigBirthdayGloom]

For the first time, dd isn't inviting the whole class to her party. What we've planned would be fine for everyone if the weather was kind but we can't accommodate thirty children at home.
Dd has made a list of fifteen out of twenty eight but I'm still uneasy about it. When you do a non whole class party, what's the best way to ensure the children without invitations are as happy as possible about it? Trouble is (although great) dd plays with boys and girls so cant just go "invite all the girls" and some of those not on her list are quite surprising.
Not sure iabu yet, but want to be as sure as I can that we avoid being unreasonable!

I absolutely would never say, 'numbers are limited but you're top of my reserve list to anyone'. Saying that is a sure fire way to find an AIBU thread about you, in which everyone tells the OP that you are, in fact, a twat.

Good grief, life must have moved on a lot since my day, if you can't invite x number of friends to a small child's party without worrying that the rest of the class will feel left out.

I would have worries if you were inviting 25 and leaving out three, but as its an almost 50/50 split I don't see how anyone can feel offended. Why should they? - no child is good friends with an entire class! there are probably one or two that she really doesn't get on with at all.

Let her invite the people she would like to have at her party, and don't be an apologist about the rest.
Nor should your child feel offended when there are some parties she isn't invited to.

That's life, and school is where you start to learn about the real world.

A mixed party is great. Means not all the girls will go and then you don't get trapped into inviting all the girls to parties in the class each year.

Agree with less than half or whole class but depends on distribution of gender iyswim, otherwise uninvited become a minority and this causes upset. Maybe it shouldn't be such a minefield but it is. Have not done parties some years because of cost and now only invite whole class. we are early years though

Half or less of any one group, so:

Full class or half or less of full class
All Boys or half or less of all boys
All girls or half or less of all girls

I'd want fewer than 15 in my house, tbh.

Agree that 15 is a lot to have at home.

As ever, am rather amazed at all the info folk have about the parties their children didn't get invited to.

Nothing to add but just want a moan. My DS is 1 if 3 quiet boys who seem to be left out of every party! Luckily he doesn't seem to mind. It's me that feels sad and yes I probably need to toughen up.
I am sure it was easier before everyone stuck there party photos on Facebook!!
Sorry not much help!

Me too lljkk How on earth do people know exactly how many and which children have been invited to a particular party??

OP, it sounds fine. TBH a lot of parents will probably be quite relieved at the break from ferrying around to yet another party plus present to buy etc.

I can only think that some MNers have right insensitive cows for school gate friends who frequently monologue on every detail of their child's social life.

with parties i used to have them at home sometimes and tbh I tended to invite the kids whose parties mine had been to plus any other ones that my dc wanted to come. usually about 10-15. I never did the whole class thing.

So appreciate all the replies. Have checked list carefully and made sure that there are no very small left out groups, eg enough girls not going, enough boys, looked at friendship groups and tried not to leave one out. Dd is inviting the fifteen and I've impressed upon her not to go on about the party at school. Am going to drop invitations through doors.

Dd has been left out of parties before and I have taken the "that's a shame, but we can't be invited to all the parties," line. I've then made sure that we do something nice that day if she was really cut up. It is part of life and I hope other parents and children will be okay.

Whoah, i'm mean. Ds is in Year 2 now, and each year i've simply invited between 6-8 kids who he actually really plays with and likes.

He's happy with that, and so am I! He's always been ok with being left out of other parties too, because i've said to him that he chose so many kids for his, and so did that kid. That's life. Lord, I wouldn't want 30 kids in my lounge.

Sheridand nobody says you need to invite the whole class...they say people shouldn't leave out only a few...6-8 is fine and normal in an averagely sized class.

My 6yo DD always knows precisely who has and who hasn't been invited to any given party she is far better connected and socially aware than I am.