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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Twitter and DH's ex wife

12 replies

Woofsaidtheladybird · 08/09/2013 11:59

Bit of background - DH has been married once before me, no children. They got married young, had their problems, divorced, moved on, and he met me. Ex wife has had problems, some mental health issues. Lives alone.

I have never met her, but we made brief contact recently on twitter when my BIL went missing and my DH, BIL's friends and I started a social media search for him. So we are now 'following' each other, but I am rarely on there. She, however, I have just discovered, is on there a LOT.

Her recent tweets today are about her vivid dreams, involving having sex with her ex husband (my DH) in front of 'his' children, and how she beat him up. Granted, these are dreams, but....

Her previous tweets go into detail about her colourful love life, and various rantings about her previous life with DH.

I don't give a hoot what she says but when she involves my DH and my children, I do care.

WIBU to pm her and ask her to curtail tweets concerning my children, or should I unfollow and block and let her get on with it?

DH has no idea about all of this, as he's not on twitter. Should I tell him? He'd go berserk, he doesn't need the extra stress. But he would tell her in no uncertain terms.

Bloody twitter...

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 08/09/2013 12:00

I would unfollow and block her. I don't think engaging with her would end well.

StephenFrySaidSo · 08/09/2013 12:03

unfollow and block and forget al about her. least said soonest forgotten IMO. let her have her imaginary world. it only affects you if you bring yourself into it.

Squitten · 08/09/2013 12:03

Unfollow her or, better yet, block her. She is allowed to post whatever she likes on Twitter - there are no rules you can enforce to make her do otherwise and it will likely start a big fight, and make her even more inclined to do it just to wind you up.

Simply unfollow and ignore it.

struggling100 · 08/09/2013 12:04

How old are your kids? Because if she continues putting stuff in the public domain like that, it may not be too long before they find it, right? And that could be pretty awful and upsetting for them.

It needs very careful handling if you do engage, though.

Woofsaidtheladybird · 08/09/2013 12:07

They're only little, 4 and 20 months. I am going to unfollow and block but I just feel uncomfortable that she tweets this crap. But you're right, I can't stop her. I did ask her to remove some tweets when BIL was found (as DH asked me to, and he also emailed her then too) which she did, but her response was a bit disgruntled.

OP posts:
arkestra · 08/09/2013 12:13

Agree with squitten on unfollow and block and definitely not talking to her about it. She is almost certainly may just possibly be hoping for exactly this kind of attention from you and yours, in which case it will just be fuel to the flames. And it's very unlikely your children will ever see it.

elcranko · 08/09/2013 12:42

Unfollow and block. If she's doing it just to get a reaction out of you and your DH then she'll soon get bored when she sees her comments are having no effect.
I know it's not nice to read these things but in reality she's just making herself look a bit crazy.

PurplePidjin · 08/09/2013 13:21

I would unfollow but not block - if she's looking for attention then the assumption that your not watching should be enough. Then search her every week or two to see what she's writing. If it continues, then tell your dh and report to twitter etc.

SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 08/09/2013 13:55

If you worry that blocking may be too dramatic, try clicking "block" and then "unblock." This severs the connection between you in a way that isn't as obvious as blocking or unfollowing.

Mia4 · 08/09/2013 16:39

YWBU to PM her and expect her to do that, even if it's about your children it's her social media platform and she can post what she likes however bizarre, attention seeking or annoying.

Unfollow her and block her, then just forget about her.

I would be intrigued to see if she's just started up texting about your DH since you followed her or if this is normal for her and she's done it for long before you were following-do you know OP?

Woofsaidtheladybird · 08/09/2013 22:09

Good point about what her tweets were like before following me - but seriously, it would take me ages to look through till I get to June (was the beginning of July when everything happened). I mean, by the looks of things, it's around 15 or so tweets a day. There is only so much crap I can wade through. Plus bottom pictures. Honestly.

DH and she divorced over 6 years ago. They aren't in contact at all. Maybe she really has nothing better to do. I don't get it. But, you know. Leave my children be :(

Anyone know how to block? I can't see how.

Should I let DH know? She mentions him practically every few days...

OP posts:
Inertia · 09/09/2013 06:32

You could consider reporting_? I have just had a quick Google to find the terms and conditions, and it could possibly be considered harassment. The fact that she discusses sex in front of children, even under the guise of a dream, shows a worrying disregard for appropriate boundaries, and I think This would the key issue to mention. Twitter might not do anything as they state that they allow inflammatory content, but they still have to stay within the law and would probably want to tread carefully where children are involved.

Think you would need to report first then block so you can see details.

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