To go to this meet up (chicken pox related)

[BumbleChum]

Ds starts Reception on Tuesday. Some of the mums have arranged a get together in the park on Monday (kids were at nursery together) so that they all feel more familiar with each other on their first day.

However 2yo dd has just come out in chicken pox. WIBU to take DS (and his 6yo brother) anyway? I can leave DD with DH who isn't working that day.

Obviously either DS might be incubating the pox but they will still be going to school until/unless they develop symptoms so makes no difference.

But some mums could be pregnant/have a new baby/be immuno compromised. Or just think it bad form to turn up to meet up. I wouldn't want to create bad feeling. Would you be annoyed by us turning up in these circumstances?

I agree with Whatever and hissy.

My niece is seriously immune compromised and has no immunity to CP even though she has been hospitalised with it twice. My sister does accept that CP is a big risk and herself takes great measures to avoid situations where DN might catch it.

As far as the meet up is concerned I would call the mums. They might not mind and I have met a few parents in the past who's children are not immune are quite happy for their children to catch it as it seem inevitable. However, you need to confirm their personal circumstances.

As far as the school goes, I wouldn't keep them off school but I would notify the school is there is a risk. They can then inform people who need to know. As soon as DS is notified of a break out at DN's school, she is removed for the duration which has been up to 6 months.

I was tested in my previous pregnancy. I have had the vaccine but my hospitals new policy is not to test for immunity until I tell them I have been in contact with someone with CP. they said that the vaccine isn't 100% in any case.

Oh, come on OP [eyeroll] You know the right thing to do.

That's it, really. No shock/horror from me. You know the right thing to do.

Oh, had tab open.

Do it OP! Anyone who disagrees is hysterical.

IMHO, people who justify this sort of selfishness make me sick.

Enjoy your day! :)

I will certainly tell the school, they ask to be notified of infectious diseases in the family (but don't advise keeping siblings home).

SpecialAgent - No need to get impatient. I have no issue with doing the right thing. If I 'knew' what it was, I wouldn't post. I have not come across anyone keeping asymptomatic siblings away from other children for a month (the week the sibling is ill plus the 3 weeks potential incubation period afterwards). Do others do this? Especially when all the children are at school together anyway?

But - 4athome makes a point. I hadn't thought about some children potentially being removed from school if a disease is going round. I can imagine that perhaps a vulnerable adult would make other arrangements for pick up / collection too.

I can't ring all the mums as I don't know them all. I'll text the one who invited me and tell her that DS2 has been exposed to chicken pox and although he's had it before and has no symptoms of it now, there is a small possibility he could be incubating it and therefore we won't come.

From what I can gather, it is unlikely/unusual for someone to pass it on via a third party - so you're not likely to expose anyone to it by going along if you leave the infectious person at home.

It does depend on how she caught it though, as to whether your lads are infectious as well - if they were all exposed at the same time they will be infectious now. If not then they won't be infectious till at most a few days before they show symptoms, which won't be for another week at least.

In terms of other people minding, that depends on their personal attitudes and beliefs about how contagious it is.

I wouldn't therefore ring round asking as that will make some of them feel awkward and bad if they say no, please don't come.

I would not avoid you in your situation, however I would avoid a party if a child with chicken pox was there. (I took ds3 out of a party in the summer because of this)

SpecialAgent - No need to get impatient. I have no issue with doing the right thing. If I 'knew' what it was, I wouldn't post. I have not come across anyone keeping asymptomatic siblings away from other children for a month (the week the sibling is ill plus the 3 weeks potential incubation period afterwards). Do others do this? Especially when all the children are at school together anyway?

Not impatient, TBH just eyerolling at all the excuses. You're wrong, you want to do it anyway.

YABU, you will do it anyway.

Enjoy your day. :)

Don't be weird. She just SAID she isn't going.

I would go taking the ds's and leaving dd at home. When I was there I would let everyone know that dd has chicken pox and that there was a small risk that ds may go down with it but would, obviously be in school the next day. They then have a choice to stay or go home if they are worried.

If you can't call ALL the mums yourself to tell them that one of your DC has CP, and therefore the others may be carrying it, then YOU CAN'T GO.

Surely that's simple enough for you to comprehend.

I can't believe that anyone who spends more than 5min on Mumsnet could ask such a ridiculous question.

CHICKEN POX CAN KILL BABIES, BORN AND UNBORN, AND THOSE THAT ARE IMMUNOSUPRESSED.

YOU CAN'T TELL IF SOMEONE HAS OR IS CARRYING CP, OR IF THEY ARE AT HUGE RISK FROM IT.A

THE SIMPLEST THING IS, SEEING AS YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CP IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD, IS TO DECLINE INVITATIONS FOR MEET UPS AND LIMIT OUTINGS.

You won't be ostracised for not attending a pre-reception meet up. You will be for infecting a child/adult who dies.

Why risk it at all?

So should the OP have to call round all the parents in her child's school if she is going to let him start school when he is due to as well?

I'm usually someone who gets irate about selfish people going to work or sending their children to school knowing they are contagious, but this child does not have chicken pox, and does not need to be segregated!

He will be seeing all the same children the very next day anyway.

It's normal protocol to send children to school until they have symptoms, even if their siblings have it and they are very likely to be contagious.

I don't know of any schools who state otherwise. Mind you attendance figures matter more in some schools than the potential for infection.

Erm, this is a Mummy-Gathering... not compulsory school is next week and i'm sure even the OP can work out what action to take then.

I would hope that in any event, it would occur to her to mention it to the school/teacher, so that other parents can make the decisions they need to make.

I would take your DS's, they might not develop CP and you can't keep them away from people for 3 weeks just in case.

Two of my three children have had CP, the third, DD2, has been exposed many times now and still not got it. To begin with I did cancel a few planned outings just in case. But now until she gets a spot we will carry on as usual. On two separate occasions she has been at preschool when another child developed spots during the session and has given one of her friends a hug and a kiss (but he looks sad, Mummy) on the day that his spots came out, but still nothing.

I know that Hissy. I was trying to answer someone's question about school protocol - Oh yes it was the OP who asked about that.

Gosh bossy and special - you have both been spectacularly nasty and clearly looking for a fight . Are you even reading my posts?

I have already said we are not going. I have told the mums I know and they all think I am bonkers since both I and ds2 have had it before. Including the mum who is a GP

However I recognise that other mums might feel ldifferently - regardless of logic - and therefore we won't go as I would not wish to worry anyone or cause bad feeling.

Thanks to the posters who gave their opinions without hysteria and insults. I respect both sides of the argument - that logically there is no reason not to go, and that emotionally some people might prefer that we didn't. And have made my decision.