This may be quite long but I need to know if IWBU.
I am leaving my ea husband this month. I have a house to go to, just in the process of furnishing it etc before I move.
A while ago now, mine and H's mutual friends arranged a weekend away to celebrate one of their 30ths. I had nothing to do with the plans other than agreeing to go. I was having to keep my plans to leave secret from H as he would have made life unbearable for me and likely kicked me out there and then. I ended up telling H that I was leaving this week after a particularly bad day of his EA.
H immediately told me to cancel our plans so I let them know. They said they were fine with this and understood. The next day, H was being all repentant and asking me to stay etc so he then arranged for us to go to the revised night out (tonight).
The plan was to go drinking all day in the nearest city to us. Neither of us wanted to go out drinking all day and additionally I am on antibiotics for an infection in my leg so I can't walk properly so I wouldn't have been able to drink. The antibiotics aren't working very well either and are making me feel seek and dizzy. We said we would come at tea time.
Throughout all this H has been saying he doesn't really want to go and wouldn't let me know one way or the other. They were texting quite a lot to find out when we would be meeting them but H refused to answer me or deal with it leaving me to text umpteen apologies that I wasn't sure if our plans. One of our friends rang this morning to find out what was going on and ended up saying that it would have been better if I'd known I'd wanted to leave months ago. I thought this was quite mean of her as the decision to leave hasn't been taken lightly and I am obviously hurt over the breakdown of my marriage.
Anyway, it was getting closer to when we would have to start getting ready and H was dragging his feet and I was feeling increasingly ill. So I ended up just texting to say I was unwell and couldn't make it, sorry, hope you have a good night etc.
I then get a text from the same friend as earlier to say that the birthday friend is in tears about us not coming. I'm not sure what to say to that. They know the situation, they know I am ill, I don't know why they wanted us there when we would only have brought a massive atmosphere with us as we aren't even talking ATM.
But equally I feel bad about missing such an important birthday and bad that I have upset a good friend. Of course if things had been different I would have been looking forward to it. I'm not sure that guilt tripping me was a terribly kind thing to do though.
So, was I being unreasonable to not go tonight?