To ask what you give/or not in terms of pocket money?

[Lilacroses]

Dd is nearly 11. When she is older we plan to give her a sort of allowance so that she can get used to managing money (treats, comics, milkshakes) but now, while she is still in primary school we are not sure what to give in terms of amount and wondered what you do. Also, do you give pocket money dependent upon chores/music practice etc?

DD 12 gets $12 a week plus $3 an hour for dance practise/chores/babysitting her younger brother (for runs to shop etc).

I do exactly what comingintomyown does. Apart from docking (because I always forget)

There is one big reason for giving pocket money which many posters have mentioned, which is to teach money sense and budgeting.

The other reason is the one that I find more interesting -the idea that a good way to get our kids to behave unselfishly and responsibly is to use financial levers. So it's almost a free market approach to getting them to do their share of housework- there are financial benefits and penalties and we can see that they work well for some kids and not so much for others.

I'm not sure that people always do respond very efficiently to financial incentives- they forget, or the reward is too far distant from the immediate decision about behaviour, or the reward isn't enough, or there are other sources of money that mean that the reward/penalty looks a bit small. I am not really surprised that children behave the same way as adults, and don't always respond to it.

We had a different way to enforce the same behaviours- it was about fairness of workloads in the family, and we didn't use money in that way at all. So I only used pocket money to teach budgeting, if at all. My own preference was not to give any pocket money until they were old enough for it to mean something- so basically from sixth form: bank account for birthday/ christmas money from relatives who didn't know what to get them any more, plus a direct debit of £50 a month. My big two both pay their phone contracts out of their Christmas money, for instance.

no idea if this helps except to say I wouldn't worry too much if pocket money doesn't seem to be teaching them anything while they are still small. Mine have grown up fine with money.

DH and I have been discussing this recently.

I'm very wary about too much pocket money - when I was at boarding school, it was the kids with hefty allowances that used to spend it on fags, bottles of vermouth and drugs!

DH thinks £1 for each year of age starting at age 5. Personally I feel that £5 a week is an awful lot for a 5 year-old considering that I buy her everything. Both DH and I were savers plus when we were kids there just wasn't the amount of 'stuff' available that there is now plus we didn't grow up in London.

DD is very materialistic and I think having to choose something to spend her money on rather than just wanting everything might be good for her. She's an only so it's easy to spoil her - DH and I were each one of 4 and it's much easier is some ways for parents to say no when they'd have to spend £X x 4 rather than just for one or to buy joint gifts.

When she's 11, I think I'd give her the equivalent of £10 a week plus a £10 top-up on a mobile phone per month. However I think £10 a week is excessive before then.

I'm suggesting £2 a week till she's 7 and then £5 a week till she starts secondary school. Plus extra for xmas presents.

I'm also happy to pay extra for good results at school and to dock money for bad behaviour.

blimey what on earth would a five year old do with £5 a week? shows my age, we did 10p a year, so she would have got 50p (if i'd remembered to give it).

DD (7) gets a basic £1 a week. however, this is linked to a specific list of 5 chores we have previously agreed with her: making her bed, tidying her desk, clearing away her meal plates, putting away clean clothes, tidying toys away. If she does these things without being asked she can double her money, but if she has to be asked repeatedly she is docked money (20p for each task) - harsh but works!

She also has very generous grandparents, so gets a lot more money during the year - we have an aqreement that if she needs something, ie new shoes we will pay for them but if she wants something specific, ie Lelli Kelli shoes, we will put in what we would normally spend and she makes up the difference from her own money. So for example, she got a pair of Lelli Kelli boots earlier this year - we paid £30, and she paid the rest. Hopefully she is learning about the link between earning & spending etc and the value of money.

DS is 4.5, he gets 5p per star he gets for good behaviour, and for doing specific things he's learning to do (at the moment he's learning to try new foods and get dressed all by himself without fuss).

He typically gets 3 or 4 stickers a day, so about £1.40 or so a week.

It's always worked well for us to have increments on each birthday. Dd looks forward to the increment, it feels special o her.

DD1 just turned 14, DD2 is 10 and DS is 2, the girls get £20 per mth, we pay for their phone/standard clothes and their ponies. DD1 either buys posters/make up or stuff for her pony, DD2 is Moshi mad and spends it on that or craft stuff or the pony. DS gets a toy/book/dvd each month.
We buy friends birthday/xmas gifts, they do get a bit extra some weeks depending.

Both dcs have bank accounts and money is direct debited in every month.
They have all expenses paid eg phone, meals and necessary clothes (eg sensible shoes you can walk I will pay for, if you want 8" heels, get your own) plus the odd £10 for cinema etc to cover food out.
DD at 15 was getting £40 and got a Saturday job as soon as she was 16 to buy all the stuff she wanted.
DS at 15 gets £10 a month and doesn't seem to be able to spend it, but he is not interested in clothes, I have a sweet and crisp cupboard at home and a computer game will keep him going for weeks. I would raise his pocket money but he doesn't seem to need it.
Their money is not linked to chores or good behaviour, they get it whatever happens. I think all this docking money, and star chart business causes a lot of stress for all involved. not fair for the kid to behave all week then have a wobbly and lose the lot or have that hanging over your head all week. as with others I just expect good behaviour and respect as a norm. and they can rely on their parents to keep their end. And generally my kids are helpful and well behaved.

I used to do 50p per week per year, so a 12 yo would get £6pw.

Now it's just DD2 16 at home, I give her £50pcm. I pay for lots of other extras though:

£36 pcm mobile.
£60 pw for private tuition.
£10 LAMDA lessons.
£5 pw theatre group membership.

I realise I'm one of the very fortunate few who gets good maintenance for their child/ren. I do spend every penny of it on DD2 though, it pays for her tuition etc.

dd2 has a building society account of her own and I pay in £18 per month and her grandfather ays in I think just over £20 and he pays for her phone which is £10 per month.

dd2 paid for herself to go to Alton towers in the summer with a friend by getting two for one offer and then her and the friend paid half each to get the one ticket.

I don't buy any clothes other than under wear and tights school uniform and school shoes. i don't give money for cinema trips etc that pocket money should buy

It is better going into an account as she hasn't got instant access to the money and therefore it doesn't just get spent and she can save for a trip or clothes.

DD has brought herself a pair of vans and another pair of fancy shoes - there isn't a battle as it is her money to spend how she wants.

I do pay for sports club and train fare to and fro

DTDs are 10 in DEc, we give £2.50 a week cash and pay £10 a month into a savings account which they can access. Not related to chores etc. We give a bit extra for hols, they use their own to buy each other a Christmas present, don't currently buy for friends at Christmas but not doubt this will soon change!

My DDs are 11 and 12 and get £5 a week each - they can spend it how they like - but do not get any extra for sweets/milkshakes etc when in town. They do get £10 paid on to their payg phone - anything extra comes from the allowance..

We pay for days out - like the cinema/swimming etc.

Again - we do not link to chores/ music practise etc as we expect a certain amount to be done anyhow...

DS is 8 and gets 50p a week. He can get extra for doing chores and I've offered a pay rise if he does basic tasks like get his bag ready for school and keep his room tidy. It seems he doesn't need the money that badly!

When I was 13 my parents gave me extra pocket money but expected me to pay for everything except school uniform and school shoes. It was a disaster as I bought clothes and shoes in jumble sales, saved money by never eating lunch at school, stole money and hitchhiked everywhere. I spent all my pocket money going to see bands and buying music.

We give our dcs (10) £2 a week, it accumulates on a spreadsheet rather than as physical cash or in a bank account. They save all their money like this including birthday money etc. Mostly they use the money to buy things we won't buy them like extra sweets, toys, frivolous clothing or a taxi home when we are insisting on walking.

They are really good at saving for things they want, we don't give money for chores as we feel that is their contribution to the household and learning to look after themselves, we will however deduct money for very poor behaviour.

The dcs (9 and 10) get £10pm in a Halifax account for which they can have a cash card. This was to get them used to Banking.

They also get £100per year in the same account which they are obliged to save.

DD is 14 and we give £5 a week, not dependent upon chores. Her mobile is on contract, and because I have been a very long term customer it has been given a discount so costs me £5 a month for unlimited texts and more minutes than she is likely to ever use (while she's at school, anyway. I may have to review this in a year or so though!). I am considering opening a bank account and putting her pocket money in there once a month though, so she can learn to budget.

We do give her extra spending money when we are on holiday.

my ds age 7 gets £20 a month he has to earn it thought and buy all his toys, sweets, mags etc out of it,it may seem a lot but when i was calculation what he was getting for treats when we nipped to shops it works out a hell off a lot cheaper,plus it teaches him to save for e.g a game or holidays.He also treated me to a ice cream yesterday which was v lovely off him.plus it won't be going up for good few years

My 6 year old gets £3 a week

It depends on the income level of the family too. What is mean in one family is not in another. Mine received from me £100 a week at university on top of fees paid and rent paid but that simply reflects what I happen to earn (which is a fair amount) and amounted to less than school fees had been.

DS is 14 and gets £30 a month, but that's partly as I receive DLA for him and a lot of extra tax credits, so it seems fair enough that he should get some of it directly. Plus he'll get his DLA in his name independently when he's 16 so he needs to learn to manage his own expenses. He rarely spends it, only on occasional sweets and games.

It's not linked to chores as he's gradually learning life skills through home and school. Typical reward schemes have never worked for him so it wouldn't make sense to link the two.

lilacroses the kinds of jobs are ironing, empty the dishwasher , hang out /put away washing, clean inside my car, clean the toilet, water the pots or anything else I cant face and think I can get away with !!!

I should add they never got any pocket money until they were 12 and 14 respectively but I have always tried to get them to bit and bobs that were age appropriate.

I went for a high amount because then we all know where we are and actually if you tot up a couple of quid for lunch in town, a trip to the cinema etc it adds up. In the holidays £80 isnt especially generous but in term time it is and I have pointed out they can save for time off school.

Now they are 14 and 16 respectively I am saying your allowance is separate from chores and you do those because thats the real world and I cant cope on my own not just to get money.

They have picked up lots of things like DS will say Why would I spend £5 at Kentucky for lunch when I can eat at home for free and DD who set up an Amazon account has discovered what we all know about too much Amazon browsing...

We used to have a little chart with jobs on it that we ticked each day to earn our pocket money. Feed the dogs 10p, take them for a walk 30p, empty dishwasher 20p, Hoover the house 80p. I cant rember exactly how muh but it was something along this lines. Obviously it should be a bit more now due to inflation but I think it was good for me that I didn't just get handed money for nothing. If I wanted more money for something I did more jobs and my mum got a cleaner house! So everyone was a winner.