to ask you to share, inappropriate things that people have messaged you?

[Ezio]

I ask because i rather amusingly have just received a message on MN, asking if i need help with my 4 year no sex spell.

This is because i was on a thread in July talking about others dry spells, and then that pops up in my inbox.

So amuse me more for your tales of

[squoosh]

You're just jealous Souredstones. Who wouldn't want the adonis that is Dean Gaffney leering at them via facebook?!?

[SPBisResisting]

Good old dean gets about a bit doesnt he? Was his dog with him all these times?
Ehat the hell was the dog's name again?

[FastWindow]

I'm sorry to say I remember. Wellard.

[SPBisResisting]

Wellard!

[DownstairsMixUp]

Someone with bad english messaged me on FB to say I had "nice breast and eye"

[PorkPieandPickle]

Well ard!
Yuck to DG :(

[MotherOfDragon]

Wellard!!!!

[SPBisResisting]

I think I even remember him gettinf and naming the dog
Cos he's well 'ard

[Souredstones]

I consider myself lucky as Chelmsford was my old stomping ground!

But what can I say. Jealousy is a terrible thing.

.

[SPBisResisting]

Downstairs you sound like some mutant chicken

[Ezio]

Im glad i never enjoyed the Chelmsford nightlife, Colchester and Braintree were more my seen.

[lagertops]

I had a text out of the blue one day from someone I had met up with twice with mutual friends and kissed that said 'Wot is ur cup size and do you shave pussy?'

Gosh, I can even remember the txt spk, it shocked me that much.

[TheOrchardKeeper]

I'd have said I only have glasses and mugs & my cat is a long-haired breed lagertops

nothing like feigning ignorance/innocence to throw them off...

[squoosh]

'Wot is ur cup size and do you shave pussy?'

I love the blunt matter of fact mode of questioning.
Did you have a nice weekend?
Did you see X Factor?
Have you been on holidays?
What's your cup size?
Do you shave your pussy?

I bet that silver tongued devil is fighting them off!

[EricNorthmansFangbanger]

Downstairs - I've just woken DS up snorting at that.

Dean Gaffney...

[YoniTime]

I would have answered that I like a nice medium cup of tea thank you, not too small and not too large. I also don't own a cat but I have a dog who needs to have his fur trimmed in summer when the weather is really hot.

[YoniTime]

Ah didn't see your reply OrchardKeeper

[TheOrchardKeeper]

[lagertops]

The worst thing about it was when I told my friend, she said nonchalantly 'Yeah, he's texted me that before.'
Er, cheers for trying to set me up with him? And there's me thinking I was special...

[stiffstink]

Sold something on ebay and buyer wanted photos of me wearing it whilst skateboarding.

I was asked by a different buyer if I would include a small bag of chewed up food.

I am a weirdo magnet.

[EasyMark]

Stiffstink I think you win [evny]

[Ezio]

Errrr yeah, chewed up food!!!! WTAF!!!!

[DownstairsMixUp]

That's what I thought SP maybe I literally do just have the one good breast and eye. I'll have to try figure out if it's the right or left boob that is the better one!

[GingerBlackAndOriental]

I had a message sent to my 'others' inbox on facebook as it was from someone I wasn't connected with that I didn't know. No idea where he found my profile or why he decided to message me but..

It was a picture of his rather pathetic looking cock. The message read "Fo you"

I blocked him after reporting the message...

[IneedAyoniNickname]

I went on a date with a seemingly lovely guy, he picked me up, paid etc etc. Was a total gentleman.
He text me later that evening saying "you looked so fucking hot tonight, I wanted to rape you"

I'm hoping I don't need to say that I never saw him again!.