to ask you to share, inappropriate things that people have messaged you?

[Ezio]

I ask because i rather amusingly have just received a message on MN, asking if i need help with my 4 year no sex spell.

This is because i was on a thread in July talking about others dry spells, and then that pops up in my inbox.

So amuse me more for your tales of

You're just jealous Souredstones. Who wouldn't want the adonis that is Dean Gaffney leering at them via facebook?!?

Good old dean gets about a bit doesnt he? Was his dog with him all these times?
Ehat the hell was the dog's name again?

I'm sorry to say I remember. Wellard.

Wellard!

Well ard!
Yuck to DG :(

Wellard!!!!

I think I even remember him gettinf and naming the dog
Cos he's well 'ard

I consider myself lucky as Chelmsford was my old stomping ground!

But what can I say. Jealousy is a terrible thing.

.

Downstairs you sound like some mutant chicken

Im glad i never enjoyed the Chelmsford nightlife, Colchester and Braintree were more my seen.

I had a text out of the blue one day from someone I had met up with twice with mutual friends and kissed that said 'Wot is ur cup size and do you shave pussy?'

Gosh, I can even remember the txt spk, it shocked me that much.

I'd have said I only have glasses and mugs & my cat is a long-haired breed lagertops

nothing like feigning ignorance/innocence to throw them off...

'Wot is ur cup size and do you shave pussy?'

I love the blunt matter of fact mode of questioning.
Did you have a nice weekend?
Did you see X Factor?
Have you been on holidays?
What's your cup size?
Do you shave your pussy?

I bet that silver tongued devil is fighting them off!

Downstairs - I've just woken DS up snorting at that.

Dean Gaffney...

I would have answered that I like a nice medium cup of tea thank you, not too small and not too large. I also don't own a cat but I have a dog who needs to have his fur trimmed in summer when the weather is really hot.

Ah didn't see your reply OrchardKeeper

The worst thing about it was when I told my friend, she said nonchalantly 'Yeah, he's texted me that before.'
Er, cheers for trying to set me up with him? And there's me thinking I was special...

Sold something on ebay and buyer wanted photos of me wearing it whilst skateboarding.

I was asked by a different buyer if I would include a small bag of chewed up food.

I am a weirdo magnet.

Stiffstink I think you win [evny]

Errrr yeah, chewed up food!!!! WTAF!!!!

I had a message sent to my 'others' inbox on facebook as it was from someone I wasn't connected with that I didn't know. No idea where he found my profile or why he decided to message me but..

It was a picture of his rather pathetic looking cock. The message read "Fo you"

I blocked him after reporting the message...

I went on a date with a seemingly lovely guy, he picked me up, paid etc etc. Was a total gentleman.
He text me later that evening saying "you looked so fucking hot tonight, I wanted to rape you"

I'm hoping I don't need to say that I never saw him again!.