to consider a fussy diet as a big against for a potential new love

[glitternanny]

and I mean seriously restricted 2:

Proteins, one carbohydrate and the same lunch everyday.

I like most if not all food. Love cooking. Not at all fussy. Eat a good diet but carrying an extra 10lb or probably more because I love it all! Sometimes I wish I was a fussy eater.

Long time lurker. Always wondered what would tip me over the edge and onto my first post, it seems this is it!! Some people call me fussy, I prefer to think of it as principled. I am a vegetarian and have been for decades. I stick to my guns and beliefs. So no thank you I won't eat meat, fish, seafood - or any by products of the death of the aforementioned ie gelatine, isinglass, meat stocks, veg cooked in animal fats, cheese made with calf rennet. That's fine, it's my choice and I don't force it on others.

In my mind the "alphabetti spaghetti/ findus pancakes only" dieters are fussy. Although they probably think they're principled too; perhaps their aim is to reinstate 80's nursery food to haute cuisine /emo/te/2.gif

Purple - A vegetarian diet can be perfectly balanced and healthy and contain all the nutrients we need. I feel sad if you're being pressured to force yourself to start including meat in your diet for health reasons. I too would find it extremely difficult to force myself to eat meat again.

KMC - You might not eat much meat but, IME, vegetarians don't eat "almost anything" when away and happily concede to chicken and seafood.

Here's the thing though - I don't count myself as having a restricted diet and at home I do a wide range of foods. Going out however is a nuisance - I'm vegetarian and don't eat wheat, raw tomatoes, goats cheese or avocados. The first 2 because they bring on eczema, the 2nd 2 because I just don't like them.

There's a huge range of foods I can eat, but most c crappy restaurants do a vegetarian menu that's heavy on the goats cheese and wheat. Or else is just flavourless goop because they share Gordon Ramsay's opinion that vegetarians must be punished.

So for the last few years if we eat out - unless it's tapas, middle eastern or Indian - I'm more than happy to order green salad, chips and a cheese board to follow. It's a balanced meal which it's hard to fuck up taste-wise. The only fly in the ointment is other people saying oh, try this, or what a shame you can't enjoy the food. Actually - I can enjoy it. I do enjoy it. You're only problem is that I'm not cooing over the same overpriced unimaginative shit that you are, and you're missing the positive reinforcement for your choices. This is not my problem - stop trying to make it so.

/end rant

I don't mind fussiness in principle, but there are two kinds of fussy eater. The ones who just quietly get on with it and the ones that kick up an almighty stink about what restaurants we go to, and pull faces and make comments about how disgusting the food is. It makes for an unpleasant atmosphere and it's rude.

The people I know with restricted diets either have a medical problem or have issues around food.

Those with issues around food do get up my nose, but I am aware that most of them had these issues form very early on, with no help in getting past the problem into a healthier diet.

My mum has serious issues. Basically only eats meat and potatoes, rarely rice/pasta, and as little fruit/veg as she can.

And no skins on potatoes at all, so in the past when we've gone out to a restaurant she was carefully scraping the skins off boiled potatoes, complaining all the while. And yes, so, so picky at choosing meals when out.

The problem with having someone like this as a parent, is that the child picks up on these food issues and assume that's normal. When I met DP (nearly 27 years ago, now) I had a restricted diet, and gradually added foods I tried with DP.

Now I am almost 45, and it's really only in the last 5 years that I have made the connection between my diet and mum's. I sort of had to give myself permission to try all these wonderful foods out there, and I now have a wider range of food I like than DP I had to realise that just because mum didn't like the food, it didn't mean that I couldn't. My DCs eat a lovely range of food.

I am overweight, but with my new knowledge about my diet and the issues mum has, I'm slowly starting to lose it simply by eating less (and better) and moving more.

My ex was fussy (alphabetti variety) and it annoyed me. I'm a very good cook and my vegetarian friend loves coming over as I often make something she's never had before. But in a partner? Never again!

I actually tested DH with a seven course meal when we were first dating. Plenty of it was pretty out there for him but he was keen to try it all. I honestly think we wouldn't be together if he hadn't passed. I remember looking at my ex when we we went off the beaten track in Sri Lanka as I tucked into bizarre curries while he nursed a diet coke and thinking he was pathetic for refusing to try anything.

I ABSOLUTELY agree. Also fussy eater isn't the same as vegetarian or food allergy or decision for health. OP will he try anything new at all? I think I read correctly that he doesn't seem to eat any fruit or vegetables AT ALL. does he make disgusted faces when you eat things?

I am a fussy eater. I can't help it. I am tons better now than I was five years ago.

I am good in bed, and adventurous.

If DH had not dated me due to my eating habits then he would have missed out on a really nice fun, loving person! Plus, I am a good cook and baker and happily make food that I won't touch.

I meant I agree with mrs geologist, Facemakers do my head in

The only veg I will eat is carrots and cabbage. Fruit? I can manage some grapes.

It would put me off. But, then I would find a foodie irritating too.

I guess I can be a bit finicky with food (I'm fussy about most fish and red meat) but I'll try things if I'm eating with someone that I wouldn't make for myself. I think part of it for me is that I haven't tried foods before so if I ordered them at a restaurant then I'd be worried I wouldn't like my meal and then wouldn't have anything to eat. It also probably doesn't help that I had things cooked badly by my parents (fish pie which had huge chunks of half cooked fish in and really chewy meat) so in my head they don't taste good.

I would be put off by someone who only ate things like chicken nuggets though. While I'm funny about meats that you'd have in a roast dinner, I'll eat almost anything else and actually don't like chicken nuggets that much. Saying that though, my partner is quite fussy about fruits and that doesn't bother me. It's fun to try them again with him.

Samu2 - Thanks for posting. I was reading this thread in dread as my daughter is 12 and a fussy eater. She's also generally conservative (small c) and careful in life. I worry about that. I agree that your DH would have missed out if he had thought you were all about your eating habits. DD has so much to offer. She's quirky and funny, just not a great eater. Why do we view eating as such a great indicator of personality? I get that it's awkward, but so is dealing with a million other quirks that people have. I have a husband who is obsessive about football and list crazy. I love him despite this quirk, I didn't ditch him because of it!

Basically, whetever the issue is, if it's pissed you off enough on a first date that you feel the need to post on MN about it, then don't bother seeing the bloke again.

I think partly what's off putting is the idea that such a picky person will kill all spontaneity. Because you're not going to happily take a punt on a random food stuff in a far flung location if you're in the beige food only brigade. Or even perhaps go to that place to start with, if you're panicky about what you will eat.

Limited diets for other reasons not a problem; I can't digest wheat or dairy without unpleasant consequences so I sympathise on that.

I'm afraid I could never date a fussy eater. I adore food and eating out and not being able to so that with a potential partner would drive me mad. I find adults who behave like this quite pathetic actually. Grow the hell up.

rabbits Why do we view eating as such a great indicator of personality?

In fact, it's only people with issues who do this (several of the self proclaimed 'love food' people in this thread have also said they are overweight, for example). The problem is of course we live in a society which is push push pushing overconsumption all the time, in the interests of making money. It;s also the same with drinking - in this country, people are socialised to think of people who don't drink as a bit odd. Who does this socialising? The organisations with a vested financial interest in people drinking.

I'm a vegan, and as it happens I am severely allergic to dairy. But other than that I don't have a restricted diet, I don't like carrots, for example, but I'll eat them if I have to. I travel abroad extensively for work and I cope. Sometimes it is just that - coping - and I am VERY glad to get home to proper food (TOAST! MARMITE!) but sometimes it's brilliant. I have a hypersensitive sense of smell and taste which is a dyspraxia thing, but I think it would be more of a problem if I wasn't a vegan. My DD1 on the other hand, who is like me dyspraxic, has no sense of smell and an abnormal sense of taste (she can distinguish sweet and sour, and salty, but that's it) (this is also a common dyspraxia thing). She has real issues with food texture and there are many foods she cannot bear to have in her mouth. She still has a nutritious and varied diet, she's a vegetarian, very healthy (but eats chocolate too) but there is no denying she is both restricted and fussy. And it's odd. Many people have never met someone with no sense of smell and a severely restricted sense of taste. It makes me very :( to think that my beautiful, kind, funny, talented, clever and interesting DD1 would be written off by so many people (who sound actually WAY less interesting and kind than she is, in this thread anyway).

That having said the OPs friend's diet is incredibly limited, but it might very well not define him.

My ex did the paleo diet:eating as prehistoric man ate - no carbs, only meat and veg.

It was very expensive, severely curtailed our meals out, not to mention marring my enjoyment of every meal as I got a side order of sanctimonious lecture on the ills of modern living (I know too many carbs are bad for you but I had a balanced diet, was in decent shape and needed the carbs to balance my cranky blood sugar levels).

It was definitely symptomatic of his joyless approach to life.

I'm still laughing at the peas touching the carrots

Cider I find adults who think that eating out is in any way important to be quite pathetic, actually. It's them who should widen their horizons, and grow the hell up.
OR perhaps we should all accept that some people like different things to us and there's no need to chuck insults at them.

Nobody is making anyone date anyone they don't want to. Insulting people with different interests is a completely different thing though.

Some people really need to take a long hard look at themselves.

If it is just being picky/fussy for no real dietary reason then fine judge away but if there is a dietary reason then YABU.
This is the reason I avoid eating out with people that don't know me well as I look like a fussy eater, I even panic at the thought at eating out with those that do know me. I cannot eat anything with wheat, dairy, pulses, leafy green veg or artificial sweetners without a massive amount of discomfort and pain. I also have to avoid eating fruit in the evening as all hell breaks loose in my stomach when I do. I do not enjoy this in the slightest and feel stressed at the thought of a meal out even if I can view a places menu before hand as I never know if they have used something I cant eat in the meal (like the guarantee that the rissoto would be dairy free for me and there was cheese in it, I didn't want to cause a fuss as everyone else was enjoying their meal so I could only eat the salmon).

Sorry, but fussy eaters are annoying and very difficult to be around. I'm talking about the kind that say they don't like something that they've never tried, or who go out for a meal to a restaurant with friends and sit there like a petulant toddler with a face like a smacked arse, pushing the food around their plates like someone is trying to poison them. Making comments like "ugh" and "yuck".

That I am afraid is childish. Bet if these people were absolutely starving hungry and had not eaten for days they'd soon Woolf it down...

These people do sound rude and childish.

I try to keep my fussiness quiet and just say I'm not that hungry if asked why I haven't finished something. It's embarrassing that I can't eat certain things and I don't like to be thought of as different or not normal, surprisingly.

People who take me to task and question every aspect of my food preferences, "so you don't eat meat but do eat fish, WHY is that, what DO you eat then?" make me squirm.

But that's their rudeness I suppose.

Cider And yet not as difficult to be around as either (a) people who place inordinate importance on eating out because they have drastically restricted cultural horizons or (b) nasty judgey rude people.

vault yeah. The people who are obsessed with food are the people like that, not the people who follow restricted diets.

It's all about being a minion of soulless orthodoxy. Some people just can't bear anyone to be even slightly different from themselves. They are so lacking in confidence they need constant affirmation of their own preferences from other people conforming to what they like.