to consider a fussy diet as a big against for a potential new love

[glitternanny]

and I mean seriously restricted 2:

Proteins, one carbohydrate and the same lunch everyday.

What Jessica said.

And ,SaucyJack, that is post of the week

DP's thing against bananas is annoying (also inconsistent) but he has few/no other food fussinesses and is great in bed.

Unless this person is really special in other ways that compensate, life's too fucking short for nonsense like this.

I couldn't date a fussy eater. That would br the end for me

Wow. Some very nasty comments on here. Why do you all care so much if someone is fussy? I am fussy, and have been vegetarian for 25 years. I get embarrassed enough going out for meals but now I guess I will be even more self conscious after reading all this. If I go out for a meal there are things I can eat. I am happy with what I choose, it might be a couple of side dishes but I am happy with that.

I have just started eating meat. It has been extremely hard doing it but I have done it as I really need to sory my diet out.

I have been in tears because I struggle so much with food. It isn't a case of choosing to be fussy. I can't help it. Some of the foods I don't like actually make me sick. Its horrible.

Im glad my friends and family are more understanding and a lot more pleasant than you lot.

Excellent! My DS is gorgeous, clever but also autistic and has rigid food habits.

No future DIL problems or grandchildren for me!

Maybe he lost a lot of weight and is scared of putting it back on and has found a comfortable way of maintaining? I'm projecting

Aw, you guys.

Actually, I do agree NettoSuperstar

It wouldn't bother me at all dating someone who was a strict vegan or ate high protein for weight/athletics training yadda yadda. If anything, I'd admire the principles and strength of character.

It's the alphabetti spaghetti brigade I cannot be doing with. It's just not cute in a grown man.

Does it really matter?

Would I turn down an otherwise amazing man because he was very strict with his diet or was a vegan or didn't like certain vegetables.? Erm, no.

It doesn't stop you eating what you like.

'an otherwise amazing man because he was very strict with his diet or was a vegan'

I wouldn't classify a vegan as a 'fussy' eater. They are principled eaters. It's the kind of man that the OP describes who only eats breaded chicken, potatoes, ham sandwiches and orange squash.

Mind you, DH and I are both on the spectrum. I eat no meat, some fish. He eats no fish at all. DD eats anything and DS exists on milk and fruit mainly. Works for us.

We've been together for ten years and in our own strange way we're very interested in food. We met on-line and had chatted a lot about it before meeting up so I suppose it depends and that there is hope for the lucky sod of a girl who might end up being my DIL

I agree with Netto- there is a difference between those who have restricted diets (be it ethical, medical, scientific or anything else) and those who are just fussy because they are so used to bland, non threatening baby food and daren't try owt else.

I am a fussy eater, I don't follow a vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian lifestyle. I'm just bloody fussy. Sorry if that offends but I just don't like things.

However, I am upfront about these things. I've worked hard at myself so that I can eat at most types of restaurants (not to accomadate per se, but so I didn't miss out).

When I go to people's houses I always ensure they know full well how stupid I am with food. I never just pounce on people with my issues.

purple I completely am with you ((hugs)) Its really frustrating isn't it that you just don't like/choose to have things. you can only train yourself so much. I now eat a small selection of vegetables (my problem is I will eat meat and bad carbs). its taken me over 30 years to add decent things into my diet. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to eat meat, though if that is just a conscious decision for health purposes then fair enough.

No-one's suggested that fussy eaters should change, just expressed a view that they wouldn't start up a close relationship with one. Fair enough. I find those who bang on about sport unutterably tedious. Avoid.

In the end the pleasing in all respects will trump the pleasing in fewer. We tend to go for the best fit.

Vault's post is a case of this - she and her DH fit well together.

I hate cooking for my ILs as they will only eat bland food that seems to require every roasting tray/ pan/ steamer in the kitchen. When I'm entertaining I want an easy meal I prepare in advance and don't have to pay attention to while it cooks, not faffing around through their visit to result in culinary boredom. I tried stew, but it was too wet and exotic. They cook dry "guess the meat" roasts. I've ended up resorting to DN's ketchup to be able to have enough moisture in the meal to be able to chew it. A relationship with such differences would be doomed to faliure.

I've spent the last 18m catering to DS's food allergies/ intolerances and that's very different. Some things are written off like a non-dairy/ soya cheese subsitute, but most things you can cook and substitute around and come up with something tasty and "normal", and a variety. On guide camp I had to cater for 5 major intolerances/ allergies (a guide had two different ones to DS) and it was fine to cook for 16 without making anyone ill. The challenge was the picky guide who can't have foods touching and can only eat this on a Tuesday with a Y in the month but will eat that on a day of the month divisible by 3 but not by 2.

Food compatablility is important for mental and romantic well-being.

Purple and eatrisker it's bloody awful isn't it?

I hate going away or on holiday because I get really hungry when everyone is having a lovely meal out at a restaurant and I can find nothing I can eat or only an option that is starter-sized.

eatriskier it was for health reasons but I have really struggled with it. I have only started eating chicken a week ago so its still very new to me.

I don't often eat at friends houses. In our friendship group I am the host for meals and social events. Its just how it works for us. When I host I lay on a huge amount of food, most of which I don't like and I put a lot of effort making things from scratch. I even do edible gifts for friends at Christmas etc. Sweets, cakes, jams etc. All of that costs me a fortune to make but I do it because I am a generous and thoughtful person. So yes, I am a fussy eater but it doesn't effect anyone else.

I always find it ironic that whilst I'm fussy and I admit it openly, and have worked at it as I've been made to feel so awful, it was when planning my wedding I realised how bad other 'non fussy' people are.

There were 12 people at my wedding, 3 were kids. 2 adults only ate bland and 3 wouldn't eat at 'run of the mill' places - had to be decently posh. I wasn't any of those. My other 3 adult guests I had to hope fit in. To me this was far harder to source than anything else, general fussiness is easy - most places will cater for that!

I do get round this by topping up my calories from alcohol though. I sleep easier and earlier and forget I'm hungry.

Sorry other 2 guests

I find this so strange. My brother is a vegetarian because he once came across a vein in a pie which upset him. My stepmother doesn't like seafood. I don't think any less of them for it.

We all have our likes and dislikes and eat what works for us. I had never even considered that this could be seen as a character negative before. My husband could eat spaghetti on toast for every meal if he liked and it genuinely wouldn't bother me. I might laugh at him if he ordered it in a restaurant but I'd be more interested in my own plate tbh.

I find the, "AIBU to eat whatever I want now that DH is away?" posts very perplexing because I do it all the time.

It's all a question of compatibility really, isn't it?

I'm vegetarian, and I can't imagine any attempt I made at a relationship with a man who only ate steak and breaded chicken would get very far, because we would find it very hard to agree on anywhere to eat out, I could never cook for him, I would find it very restrictive travelling with him, and I couldn't bear the thought of living with someone who wanted to cook steak in my kitchen (I'd find the smell nauseating). But I could probably get on fine with a strict vegan, who many other people would find equally impossible to get on with.

BellEndTent the vein in a pie just made me smile.
Your poor brother!

Why are people saying it makes no difference to anyone else? Of corse it does! If you only eat three things, we arent going to enjoy nice dinners out together, are we? Or holidays. We arent going to cook for each other and try new things and have nice relaxed meals with others.....
Plus, if its not medical, and youre just a rigid picky eater with food issues, I doubt wed have anything else in common.

I understand and cater for actual needs,daily. But fussy eating in an adult is a major turn off.