to consider a fussy diet as a big against for a potential new love

[glitternanny]

and I mean seriously restricted 2:

Proteins, one carbohydrate and the same lunch everyday.

I have one son that won't eat pork in any shape or form - the day we discovered "pork gelatine" on the ingredients list of the bag of jelly sweeties was like bloody armageddon and the End of the World and The Apocalypse all in one and one son who will only eat a ham and cheese sandwich made in bread which has been placed in the toaster with the heat control turned down as low as it will go (so slightly warm, slightly stiff bread)
My nephew has spent the last 14 years or so eating salt and vingear crisps, plain tuna in spring water on white bread sarnies, and chocolate chip cookies.
Meh in the great scheme of life, I am just glad we have food available to us all and we aren't starving. They will expand their diets or they won't, and multivitamins come in soluble forms that can be sneaked into their drinks.

The periods in my life when one of my family has had restrictive diets were really not great because they screwed up family meals and meant that the rest of us couldn't eat nice things. It was equally annoying when dd refused to eat anything in a sauce and when dh adopted a body building diet (7 meals a day, all incredibly boring).

I was brought up to eat and enjoy pretty much anything and these are important abilities to me. I grew up with family meals where everyone ate together and I think that that is very important too. So with my own family I've done the same. If I had a partner that didn't agree then I'd find that hugely undermining. We would not be compatible on a pretty core part of every single day.

You don't actually need a reason to not date someone.

Not wanting too is enough, doesn't matter why you don't want to.

Some fussy eaters can put that to the side when eating out, when travelling, attending/hosting dinner parties etc. I'm a vegetarian plus I can be quite fussy, but that's only when I'm making my own food. If I get to choose a restaurant it'll be one that has something I'd like to eat, but if someone else is choosing and nothing on the menu suits me, I'll step right out of my comfort zone. When there's nothing vegetarian except bread, whether at a restaurant or dinner party or wedding, I'll eat seafood (or chicken if that's the only option besides red meat). I'll eat almost anything with no complaints while traveling in places that don't accommodate my usual diet. Some people are fussy 24/7, whatever the circumstances, some people can adapt when they aren't at home.

If the guy is happy to sort out his own meal at home while you have something else, and if he will be slightly more adventurous when eating out of the home, then I wouldn't write him off. If he's committed to only ever eating a handful of foods, and would refuse to go places or whine and sulk when he was there, then I would ditch. If it was due to intolerances or sensory issues I'd feel differently, but life's too short to plan your life around the availability of bland food just because you partner's stuck in a food rut.

I have a lovely friend who is a 'nursery food' picky eater. He doesn't like to talk about it so when we ask them round his DP will send us a series of texts or emails saying "He doesn't like rice, pasta or boiled potatoes", "He's not keen on anything foreign", "He doesn't like sauces", "No tomatoes thanks", "He doesn't like fruit" and on and on.
FFS - just spit it out - "Please we can we have a nice roast dinner with the veggies, gravy and trimmings in separate serving dishes so he can help himself or not and don't worry that it is exactly the same as you cooked for us last time".
So we don't offer to cook as often as we used and we let them choose the restaurant when we go out. A lot of the other routines in their lives are very, very rigid too.

^^ MrsCakes friend is the reason I wouldn't put up with a fussy eater, especialy the last sentence. There is a big difference between someone with genuine issues, intolerances or allergies and someone who is just plain fussy.

I have happily catered for vegetarians, once when I was told about the guest being vegetarían as I was serving food but they were polite and so I was happy to do something else. Another vegetarían I know will Go to a restaurant in a large group and then ask others to move away from her because they've ordered meat, I've witnessed this, that is just plain fussy.

fussy

mental

People can be as fussy as they like, but the one thing I can't stand is those who claim they don't like something when they have never tried it.

By all means try a new dish, and if you don't like it, fair enough. But refusing to even try is just childish. DH would be a bit like this if he could get away with it and I've lost count of the times he has eaten something he thinks he wouldn't like, has enjoyed it and then said afterwards "I didn't realise such and such would be like that. I thought I wouldn't like it".

jessica Fussy eater = chippy, defensive, humourless. Every time.

Nope. Sometimes, fussy eater = medical issues (allegies, maybe), digestive issues (crohns, IBS, colitis, damage from eg a car crash are just a few things people i know have had fuck up their digestions) dyspraxic, ENT issues...

And probably lots of other possibilities too. None of which automatically mean a person will be chippy, defensive or humourless.

A lot of people on this thread sound like nutters! Maybe this person is odd and difficult but to generalise about people with restricted diets in the way some of you have done...blimey.

If I was looking for a partner I'd be very about anyone who tried to control what I eat. And anyone who seemed as obsessed with food as some of the people on here going on about the splinter in someone else's eye but ignoring the obvious mote in their own!

Sorry that should be plank in their own. I'm still half asleep. I wish I was whole asleep! [grun]

Would be a big negative for me as i love food but not a deal breaker if there was lots of great stuff about the person

You don't actually need a reason to not date someone. Not wanting too is enough

This. I had a date with a guy who had a restricted diet because he was massively diabetic - clearly not his fault at all. I found it very off-putting because he looked askance when I bought a quiche to eat and had no hesitation in not seeing him again because of it. I wholly reserve the right not to start a relationship with someone on any grounds at all, however flaky.

"Another vegetarían I know will Go to a restaurant in a large group and then ask others to move away from her because they've ordered meat,"

I assume they tell her to fuck off back to the "lentils and liberal guilt" co-operative she'd be happier at?

Dh is not an adventurous eater, especially on the fruit/veg bit.
He will eat apples, bananas and oranges, cauliflower, carrots and peas.

Anything else he refuses to touch.

He dislikes lentils, pulses, vegetarian type food. If I do a mushroom sauce for pasta, his immediate response is " can you put a it of bacon in that".

It does annoy me, as he has never actually tried these foods. He is not allergic or have a medical condition. Just fussy. It limits what I can cook for us, and I find cooking stressful enough without that.

Oh but it IS humourless though, isn't it? There's nothing cheerful about listening to someone bore on about all the reasons why they can't (ie won't) eat something.

Childish, boring, pathetic. Some of you may love comparing notes about how terrifying food it, but it's a major turn off for me.

Oh, and OP - he sounds like a total fucking drip.

It would be a deal breaker for me (unless medical). Cooking, eating out, visiting farms and farmers markets, cooking shows etc. are things I enjoy. Moreover I wouldn't want my DCs influenced by this sort of behaviour around food. We eat well, in both healthy terms and in the range we try.

It would be like dating a 7 year old - no thanks! It's bad enough sitting down to a meal and having to ignore DS picking out anything green from his dinner.

I have no problems with veggie, or vegan, or allergies etc. That's not fussiness. A close friend is vegan and we always make sure we accommodate them.

I am a slightly fussy eater, I have got much better over time though. My benchmark is that I can go into almost any restaurant and there will be at least one starter, main and dessert I will eat.

If someone is too fussy that they cannot order off a restaurant menu, then I wouldn't bother.

An ovo-lacto vegetarian could manage this easily, even a vegan probably could in the majority of restaurants, perhaps with a substitution.

Someone with a diet as limited as your potential new love would not manage this in the majority of restaurants, so that would be a no from me.

DH was super fussy when I met him.

He did not eat fish or shellfish, salad or cucumber, spinach, leek, cheese and mushrooms. He could not cook either so lived of take aways, pot noodles and microwave burgers.

I don't remember how it all changed ( other than me laughing at him and his pathetic ways) but he eats everything now.

I don 't mind caterinf for, or eating with vegans, coeliacs etc. but I do find people with faddy diets boring a difficult to cater for.

My book club came for dinner: one vegetarian, one person who has decided wheat and sugar are the devil, one person who has cut out all dairy ( to stay slim) ... It was hard to come up with a meal!

Basically, most food fussiness is bad manners, if not suppressed when eating at friends' houses. Personally I hate blue cheese , game and big enormous English puddings. But I eat it with good grace if someone has been kind enough to cook it for me.

There can be no sane reason for his eating habits. Clearly not medical or health related. A friends OH actually sulks if he can't have beans. Literally eats something chips and beans every day.

Chipping - low carbing isn't fussy, it is pretty mainstream these days and I think that even people who don't follow it have learned to cook and enjoy meals that fit with that way of eating.

Fussy is only eating a very small range of foods and refusing to try anything new purely on the basis of 'I don't want to' rather than medical or ethical need.

Jessica Yes there is nothing cheerful about listening to someone droning on about anything. However. Many people with restrictive diets do not, in fact, drone on about them.

You seem to have difficulty understanding the difference between can't and won't.

You sound like a right charmer to be honest. I'd rather know a nice person with a bit of empathy than an intolerant cruel person who thinks they are amusing.

Yoni visiting farms, famers markets and cooking shows? Really???? Now that would be an immediate no from the spree jury. Sorry but I can't think of anything more dull.

My restricted diet is terrible. Although I've been used to it for so long, i didn't realise until I moved inn with housemates and they were shocked.

In terms of dp, he loves his food. I just accept if we go out for dinner with friends, I often end up with chips or a side salad. He does get annoyed that if it's just us, I only would chose a chain restaurant as I know in advance what I'm having. That annoys him a bit!

I agree with Russians, me and DP rarely talk about my diet. Food is different, as lots of people with food issues, I am obsessed with it. I know a lot about flavours and nutrition, so we often have good conversations about food in general, not my diet. Thee is just no way on earth its going in my mouth!