If I lend you my ladder you don't lend it to someone else?

[FrigginRexManningDay]

I gave my neighbour a loan of my ladder to paint his upstairs windows. I've just come back from food shopping to see another neighbour who I don't really know using my ladder. Its definitely mine because its got purple paint down one side of it.
If I was asked I would loan it to him but I wasn't asked,dh is not here so no one asked him,the only person who could have loaned it was the neighbour who originally asked.

AIBU and grabby or does this annoy anyone else?

I asked the neighbour using it to put it back in my garden when he was finished and he said it belonged to XX original neighbour. I said no,its mine. Original neighbour is in work.

YANBU. It would annoy me, especially if it were to be damaged or lost by the other person.

Especially awkward for the other person who has obviously borrowed it not knowing it was yours and now is going to be wondering whether you really were telling the truth or not!

If I knew the second neighbour was a nice person that would take responsibility if it were damaged, then it wouldn't bother me tbh.

I'd be glad I was helping out and that the thing was being used.

I don't mind helping out at all but I don't know the neighbour.

squitten I don't know if I could get away with ladder stealing,they know where I live

I would be slightly bothered.

In the greater scheme of things, it's not that important though.

May be original neighbour doesn't know that unknown neighbour has taken the ladder?

If I'd borrowed the ladder I would refer back to you for further loan outs. YANBU.

No its not the end of the world,but its annoyingly bad manners.

Yanbu. It's loans like this which meant dh had to buy a new hammer. Small problem in the grand scheme of things but when we needed it we neither had it not really had the money to replace it so have lost a good hammer and replaced it with a cheap bargain shop one. We won't see our hammer again as original borrower has no idea where it is and can't remember who he leant it to.

I now work on if I can afford to lose it, then it can be borrowed. Or garden tools like broom or fork I go and fetch back as 'I need to do X' by the end of the day. I feel mean saying an outright no if I'm not using tools.

This is exactly the kind of thing I do and then i can't understand why it bugs people. I agree now you say that is rude but I would do it without thinking. I wouldn't mind so I don't realise other people would. I'm sure you neighbour is just the same as me, unthinking but not trying to be rude.

It is bad manners. The very least the first borrower should have done was to have told the second borrower that it wasn't his ladder to lend. Then either one of them could have asked permission to use it again. When you've done someone a favour why should you then be left having to try and retrieve your belongings from a third party?

I once lent a perfectly good rabbit hutch to someone who had taken on an extra rabbit at short notice. Then I found out she'd put her rabbits in together and didn't need it so I asked for it back (I'd kept it after guinea pigs died because I wanted to get another pet when ds was older). She said "Oh I gave it to my brother"

I don't borrow nor lend. Was brought up with the saying " neither a lender nor borrower be".

I did do it once, and when I asked for it back the reply was " Oh, I gave it to so-and-so but don't have contact any more with them and don't even have their telephone number" . No remorse or conscience on their behalf.

YANBU that is so not on. It wasn't your neighbours to lend. I would be pretty cross actually, even though I might have been more than happy to lend to second person if asked. But the point was, you should have been asked.