I think I may be ripped apart here. But theres always the hide thread option I suppose.
To start, Im having the lowest time of my whole life. I have a child with serious health problems, and my DH has just left. This was amicable though, he hasn't just ditched us.
Im dragging myself out of a depression, Im really alone where I am, I get very very little sleep because of DC's health issues, I cant work for the same reason, I have no family near by to help.
Generally life is a really, really massive ball ache and Im just about keeping my head above water.
I have a close friend who I have known for some years. We both had one child each at one point and we'd meet up regularly with and without the children. We then got pregnant at the same time, we were happily pregnant together, had the tiny babies, she struggled a lot and we used to meet up a lot. She said herself more than once that she really relied on our meets in the early days for keeping her sane.
We are nearly 3 years on and her life is dandy now which is great, eldest at school, little one at nursery, she works a couple of evenings a week, so is around for the kids in the day, but generally gets to put her feet up when the kids are at school/nursery, or catch up on house work etc. (her words not my assumption).
Because Im pretty much on my own all of the time, when things are really bad with the youngest, I sometimes use fb to vent. It doesnt happen often, but things have been very very tough the last two weeks with my youngest and its clear to see that Im on my knees.
Said friend has no text, not called, nothing.
Prior to this Ive suggested meet ups several times which she can never do.
She will never initiate a meet up or text/call to see how we are, its just me that initiates anything.
Anyway, last night we had a monumental fall out.
She fb PM'd me and simply said 'you havent posted on fb for 9 ours, are you ok?????'
I said ' are you taking the mick'
She said 'yup'
Im afraid I went postal. I was so mad, I said its clear to see Im having a shit time, that Im using fb as a crutch and she is mocking me.
I told her to fuck off. Twice.
I have apologised for swearing at her, for this I was totally unreasonable.
My emotions are like a rollacoaster at the moment but this is no excuse.
But I said Im not sorry for being angry.
I cannot seem to see anything clearly at the moment. Im lost between trying to get my children and I through a very very recent break up, trying to stay sane between my poor childs health problems.
Was I BU for being pissed off? I have effectively ended the friendship.
I know I was being childish telling her to eff off, I totally lost control of my emotions for a minute. That I know.