To be freaking out about labour

[BioOilHaHaHa]

I know this isn't really the place, MN move me if needed, but having a bit of a panic and need a pep talk from you lovely and knowledgeable people

Had a horror labour with DS few years back and now days away from giving birth again.

In short, my waters broke with a small/moderate amount of meconium (heart rate fine, week overdue) and they wanted him out fast, so stuck me on the syntocinon drip ASAP, even though I was having regular contractions and dilating well. Horrible and ended up with late epidural, very distressed baby and a forceps situation (and needless to say, big old tear)

I know I might not get the same circumstances again, but I blame that evil drip for everything and want to ask this: if there is some meconium this time, do you think I would stand a chance in refusing the drip and would it be irresponsible to do so? Has anyone done this?

I was also stuck on a continuous monitor and couldn't move, while in awful pain. This I could maybe live with, without the drip, but ideally I would like no drip and a proactive midwife who can help me get some movement while being monitored, if I have to.

Unfortunately have to go back to the same hosp (one with not a great reputation sadly) and homebirth not an option

Feeling sad and so anxious

Don't really have any advice, if I were you I would speak to my midwife about it. My cousin was induced and had a similarly awful time, she said if she has another and they suggest induction she would insist on a csection instead.

Chances are your second birth with be a completely different story, very best of luck.

Watching with interest as the same happened to me. Hopefully your situation will be different this time around, but I think I'd make it clear how you feel about the drip and see what they say before you go into labour. Good luck.

YANBU. I was in your position several years ago but did my freaking out in early pregnancy and got an elCS.

Chances are your second birth will be much easier than the first, if only because your body has done it before and is stretched out in all the right places. (Easy for me to say, I know) Good luck.

You could request an early epidural, then even if they need to use the drip you won't experience the same pain. Suggest you talk to your community midwife or gp about the options ASAP as if they're aware of your worries they can do something to help.

I don't know. I also had everything thrown at me for my first birth, and so for this one I've told them that (pain relief aside - I'll make a call on that at the time) I'm not going to be induced or augmented in any way. If I go significantly overdue then it's straight to CS.

I was interested about meconium in the waters and read this from AIMS mydoula.co/AIMS23_4_TroubledWaters.pdf. I don't know what I'll do if it happens to me (I suppose you never do until you're there), but I know that I'll be interrogating them about it all, and won't allow any rushed or panicky decisions because it seems that if everything else is fine, meconium isn't the horror situation they always suggest it is.

Have you talked to your community midwife about this?

My first birth was induced, but only with pessaries and breaking my waters, and my midwife allowed me to move around and only go on the monitor every so often. It can be done, but probably involves more work for the midwives as they had to keep putting it on and taking it off again.

You need your DH or birth partner to be able to speak up for you, so make sure they are well prepared.

There really is every likelihood that it will be very different this time round.

I love your username btw.

Thank you, my pregnancy is consultant led this time (consultant is same woman I met last time in labour), I am seeing her this week so do you think it would help to talk to her about this? She is nice but quite brusque and gives one word answers, eg when I asked if I could use the birth pool this time, she said "sure why not" (ok that was three words) in a sort of distracted tone, but refuses to be drawn into long conversations about anything

Really don't want epi at all as found pushing awful with it last time

I had a similar first birth to you, although I was 2 weeks over due and no meconium. I honestly wish someone would of explained a c-section may have been better than a horrific induction and forceps. No advice for you other than looking into possibilities of an emergency c-section of there is meconium again?

Feel exactly the same. Am due in 4 weeks and yesterday was told I need a growth scan as I'm measuring full term. I probably won't be allowed on the MLU so will be back in the dreaded labour ward, probably in exactly the same situation as was with DS, except it'll be worse because this baby is bigger.

And when I broke down in front of the MW yesterday when she broke this news, I was told I should have had counselling if DS's birth still had this effect on me, 2 years later. Thanks for that...

It's horrible, isn't it? I can't get excited about this poor baby at all because all I can think about is how horrible the birth will be and how everything will probably go wrong.

You have my sympathies.

Yes you must talk to your consultant, whatever her manner is like, she isn't a mind reader so you must explain your worries and what you do/don't want to happen to you. And as others have said make sure your partner is clear on things too so they can speak for you. Good luck but I'm sure it will all be alot better for you this time.

My first was horrid, my second easy peasy. I was scared too, but it really was a totally different experience. I stayed at home as long as I possibly could and he was born less than two hours after we got to the hospital.

I hope it's the same for you.

I had a similar experience to you whilst giving birth to DS, OP.

Waters broke at 5am on my due date with a small amount of meconium, recognised this myself and got myself to the hospital. I was put onto a drip immediately, I think it was pitocin? I avoided an epidural, I was bloody disappointed that I was being induced and didn't want to have anyone else touch me tbh.
I was monitored and not allowed to leave the bed for the whole 24 hours. Midwife was reluctant to even let me pee, she wasn't very nice. Thankfully, just as they were threatening to take me for a C-section, DS popped out. He was perfectly healthy and there were no other signs of meconium throughout my labour. To top it off they paid no attention to my notes and ignored me when I told them I have SPD - stirruped me anyway and forced my legs open, leaving me with 11 months of physio therapy afterwards.

I'm scared of being induced again. I have a homebirth booked this time round, but I have this fear that I'll go overdue and they'll induce me I don't want to step foot in a hospital if I can help it.

Not much help sorry, but your story's so similar I thought I'd share and tell you that it's a worry for me too. Thankfully I have a lovely midwife who understands - is there any way you can change midwives, someone who'll really listen?

Thanks for link ChunkyPickle, just what I was looking for. It sys NICE guidelines for the kind of meconium I had (mild-ish) suggest considering* continuous monitoring, rather than insisting on it, and doesn't even mention syntocinon for meconium (or does anyone know what NICE say about this?)

Bold fail, oops!

Thanks for sharing your similar stories, it's sad this happens so often. I'm not a crunchy lentil-weaving doctor-hater, I know they have tough decisions to make and midwives and doctors have the pressure of having our babies' lives in their hands, and this is why I am scared I'll feel like I'm being horribly irresponsible if I refuse synto this time

I don't know anything about the medical side but I had a similar labour to you with DD and have just had the most amazing birth experience with DS so things can be very different this time.
Good Luck!

Oh that is good to hear!!

Everyone is very hot on continuous monitoring, yet everything also says that it shows no improvement in outcomes - in fact there's loads of things like that - even the artificial membrane rupture (which happens loads) doesn't seem to have good information backing it up according the the Cochrane reviews

I'm afraid that I've been very, very forceful with my consultants about what I'll let happen to me (they did try the 'it's our policy' line - I told them it wasn't my policy so wasn't that a pickle) - midwives funnily enough are perfectly fine - it's just the consultants (different one every appointment, who seem to barely skim notes) that seem to want to tell me what to do without explaining why.

I don't mind the continuous monitoring (although my last experience was wireless, so perhaps the wires will be more of a pain), but I will not be nailed to the bed for instance (midwives are fine with this)

I don't want to fight when I'm in labour - that won't help anyone - I intend to just ignore them and trust DP (who really comes through in emergencies) to keep everyone away if that's needed.

I think you (and I) just need to keep our fingers crossed that it all becomes academic, that we smoothly go into labour on our own around our due date, stick at home until we definitely have to go in, and it all goes fine with no tricky decisions.

Amen to that!!

I had a horrible first time too (induced and early epidural but could still feel pain in odd places, he was the ventouse etc etc), second time 'twas like selling peas! I had pushed for MLU and got it but when my waters broke there was me onion and they told me that they would need to transfer me (baby hb fine etc I was a week late)... But my darling daughter chose that moment to decide to descend. Lol. So MLU it was. And very relaxed too! My only issue was that she was small. I knew that. Only the snooty sonographer had disagreed and told me (after the scan) that she would be an average sized baby and I was to stop worrying and that Mw worry mothers too much (I had regular growth scans because I have a condition that can result in small babies... They stopped them as seemed fine but at full term I was still measuring 37 weeks so Mw suggested another scan). dD was 5lb 10. Lol. But she had LONG legs... (50cm crown to toe)... But birth was so much easier despite first nearly resulting in a section.

I had an awful labour first time, second time round I had a planned section as I felt too freaked out to do it again. Very civilised way to have a baby! Just a thought, I doubt you'd be refused but would need to get on and ask asap.

Could you look at having a doula present with you? If you can afford one (and they will sometimes have a fund for women who would really benefit from one but can't afford it) they will be able to be a second voice advocating for you and helping you, and supporting your partner to say "no, this is not happening" if they need to?

Good luck anyway. Explain to everyone you meet what kind of treatment you would like, and hopefully it will stick!

YANBU

I had a horrific time giving birth to my daughter. Two weeks late, induced, contractions for almost 2 days before I suddenly dilated very quickIy.

No time for them to give me the epidural that I was screaming for and I gave up on the gas and air as it made me feel sick. I was also unable to move as I was being monitored.

She came out facing the wrong way and was a very big baby. It took them almost 2 hours to stitch me back together and 3 months on I'm still in pain.

I would like another child but, I would never contemplate having a natural delivery again. It's actually so bad that if I try and talk about the birth i break down in tears. Just seeing advertisements for baby related tv shows makes me feel sick and anxious. What annoys me most are the people who were lucky enough to have had good birth experiences telling me how I'll soon forget about it.

I think you should push for an elective c section, worrying about the birth would be bad for you and the baby.

OP just wanted to say my story was v.similar to yours, consultant led pregnancy, spontaneous labour at 40+8, meconium in waters, contracting regularly and dilating well BUT the hospital were absolutely fine about allowing me to progress naturally. Induction was not mentioned other then when contractions went a bit irregular later on. I had continuous monitoring but was allowed to move as far as the wires would let me, which wasn't as much of a pain as you'd imagine. DS was ventouse in the end but that was because he wouldn't stay still and as a result I couldn't push him out the last bit. Going by my experience I don't see any reason why declining the drip would be irresponsible as the MW and doctors at my hospital didn't even propose it, so can't have thought it was any great risk. If you were at the same hosp. I imagine it would be thought normal.
Kirjava - just wanted to say a friend of mine has just given birth to her 2nd at home. She had a consultant led pregnancy too as her 1st was 11lbs but delivered with no problems. She was very clued up about potential risks and stuck to her guns. She went against medical advice and declined induction at 38/39 weeks and eventually delivered at 41 weeks in 3.5 hrs at home in the pool. 2nd was 11lbs too but no probs either. I think the key for her was in the research. We've only recently become friends but it has made me really admire her for her level headed, informed and confident approach to it. So, it is possible even if you go overdue, as long as there is no change in circumstances and you are happy and confident in your choice.

Good luck both

My second birth was exactly as you described. Broken waters, induced, drip etc. identical in every way. I was also made to lie on the bed and not be mobile due to monitoring (first birth was arranged c section)

My third birth went like this - at tea time I though i was possibly in early labor but it was very very very bearable and I just continued as normal thinking I had ages. By 8pm I needed to bounce through contractions but was very perky/chatty and relaxed. Wanted a midwife to check me over. Contractions stopped in the car on the way to hospital at 8.30pm so I assumed I must have been having braxtons. Arrived at hospital and had the best birth ever!!! I actually gave birth about an hour after I arrived. I was so mobile and unmonitored (after initial quick check). Pain wise, it felt about a third of the mind blowing induced birth pain. I couldn't believe how brilliant the experience was compared to birth number two.

My fourth birth was very positive also.

It wil be different this time! The best thing you can do is stay calm and positive.