to want a bit of fuss

[namechangedtoprotect]

I found at yesterday while at work that I had formally adopted my children
No flowers or cards for me

Birth mothers get the works
Am I being unreasonable to want a bit of recognition for being a mum for the first time?

We threw a baby shower when my friend adopted, but not sure it was the formal bit as that can come so long after...

Work colleagues I wouldn't expect much, but friends, yes.

Congrats anyway!

No. YANBU. But maybe people weren't aware of the importance of the adoption formalisation.

Have you been looking after the children before this point? If so people may think you were just as much a mother yesterday as today, this is not the case with pregnancy and birth.

Congratulations!!

Have the children been living with you for a while? Perhaps thats why people haven't made a fuss? Although if it was my friend I would have still made a fuss!

I'm sure I would make a fuss if you told me you'd been approved for adoption and your child was arriving imminently. I wouldn't differentiate between birth and adopted children - when either is coming new to a family.

If you told me the child you'd been looking after for a while was now formally yours, I'd congratulate you and wish you all well. Doubt I'd be doing cards and flowers though.

YANBU.

Bit of a poor show from your colleagues.

Congratulations

Congratulations!!

Congratulations!

You must be feeling so excited.

I like the idea of some kind of party - a nice reason to throw one.

In my work they would celebrate your good news... Congratulations. Don't feel upset about it though... Think people do good deeds out of habit. Also it might be a few days before they do x

We celebrated at work when someone adopting got their children, it wasn't even mentioned when the formal bit went through.

I went on adoption leave in a bit of a hurry so no fuss when I got my children, no fuss when I came back from adoption leave and no fuss now

My boss reply when I told her was 'oh, OK'

Congratulations. YANBU to feel overlooked.

A few friends of mine have adopted. They have always had a party or a christening or something to mark the occasion. I've given cards and presents then and also flowers for the mothers. But I've not necessarily known when the formal adoption goes through so have probably overlooked that date. If I had been told of it I would send a card. Did your family/friends know the exact date?

I hope you get cards in the coming days.

YRNBU
Congratulations

Congratulations!!! And as a fellow adopter YAY!!!!!

Actually my formal adoption was pretty much bypassed at work, as they threw me the most amazing baby shower! They (and me actually) focused on DD coming home to us much more. Poor show that they didn't send you off on adoption leave with a bang.

I have two sets of colleagues who have adopted and they both got presents. YANBU.

and

My boss reply when I told her was 'oh, OK' that's not nice at all. YANBU.

Congratulations!!!