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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go off and have a 45 minute read and lay down on the bed...

19 replies

addictedtofarmville · 04/09/2013 12:52

...every time DH gets back downstairs from spending 45 minutes on the sodding loo!

Three times a day he does it;he has no medical issues, he just likes the 'peace and quiet' and sits on there playing games on his phone. It really grates on me as he always does it first thing in the morning when the DCs need their breakfast, so I end up sorting them out. Then he'll usually disappear once during the day and then after tea in the evenings when the kitchen needs tidying.

I told him this morning that each time he does it from now on I'm going to take 45 minutes for myself too, and lets just say it didn't go down well and I'm just trying to cause arguments etc etc.

OP posts:
kim147 · 04/09/2013 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 04/09/2013 13:03

You say it didn't go down well, which part did he object to? And on what grounds? Of course YANBU, if he gets to swan off for a 45 minute break of peace and quiet, then so do you. Fair's fair.

Original poster
addictedtofarmville · 04/09/2013 13:07

He said I wasn't being fair as he was going to the toilet when he disappears off, and that I was being awkward and petty by saying I was going to take a break too

BTW I am typing this sitting on my bed and have left him to deal with the bedlam children downstairs Grin

OP posts:
littlemog · 04/09/2013 13:08

YABU for writing 'lay' when you mean 'lie '. Drives me nutty!

wrinklyraisin · 04/09/2013 13:09

My OH does that too. Drives me mental. I think it's a man thing? I can't imagine anything worse than sitting on the loo for 45 minutes. I'd rather be snuggled up on the couch with my slanket and kindle!

liquidstate · 04/09/2013 13:14

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me! I wouldn't just go upstairs though I would go our for a coffee or something.

Can you get the lock on the bathroom changed so that its one that can be opened from the outside?? Then you can send the kids up to join him.

Mrmenmug · 04/09/2013 13:14

Take your book to the loo and then it's effectively the same. Even better, put a little shelf up in there and get a selection of reading materials going Grin

Original poster
addictedtofarmville · 04/09/2013 13:15

He's getting on my nerves too as he can't seem to do anything for himself; he always has to get the kids to do it, which involves several minutes of him giving loud instructions 'No not that one, yes the one on the right, no not that one, the other one, yes that's it, the pink one' and on and on, when he could just do the sodding thing himself but no he's too fucking lazy

OP posts:
Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 04/09/2013 13:20

littlemog hope you've emailed Bob Dylan about 'Lay Lady Lay'... Grin

Yes, match him for 'time out'. I would also suggest in the morning getting into the bathroom first and asking him to take the kids down and start getting them ready. Then descend the stairs 45 minutes later.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 04/09/2013 13:21

He's going to give himself piles sat on the loo for 45 minutes three times a day. Consider that his punishment.

But yes, match him for 'break' time.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 04/09/2013 13:22

So how does he explain taking 45 minutes to go to the toilet several times a day? Is he claiming ALL that time is spent going to the toilet? If so I think he might need to visit his GP. If he admits he stays for peace and quiet, then he needs to accept it's only fair that you get the same.

Original poster
addictedtofarmville · 04/09/2013 13:29

No he says he just likes the peace and quiet and the relaxing, MrsMango. He's always spent ages on the loo but as the kids have got older he's got worse and worse.

What's annoying too is that he can be quick if he wants to be, for example if a friend is round and he nips to the loo he's literally only a couple of minutes, or if he's going out somewhere he can be quick. Feel like he's royally taking the piss

OP posts:
MrsMangoBiscuit · 04/09/2013 13:34

Sounds like he's royally taking the piss too. I just don't see how he can justify being annoyed at you wanting equal "break time". If he accepts that he's slinking off to the toilet for some peace and quiet, why does he have an issue with you wanting to do the same? He's sounds pretty bloody selfish to be honest.

GhostsInSnow · 04/09/2013 13:34

Mine times it along with Ocado arriving, I am now wise to this so I take in the bags, leave them in the hall and then go and sit back down until he reappears Grin

MrsMangoBiscuit · 04/09/2013 13:44

I book food deliveries for when DH isn't there, otherwise he tries to help, which just ends up with him standing in the way in our shoe box of a kitchen, knocking stuff onto the floor or putting it in the wrong place. Grin Not complaining though, glad he wants to help these days!

MortifiedAdams · 04/09/2013 13:47

So.just take yourself off then. Book.and purse off to a cafe for an hour.

Leave the phone at home.

SupermansBigRedPants · 04/09/2013 13:58

He'd annoy holy hell out of me! Enjoy your breaks Brew

TrueStory · 04/09/2013 14:02

What MortifiedAdams said.

I suppose the toilet is the "new" study Hmm.

That said, I find it a bit gross. Reading not so, perhaps because I do it for a few minutes occassionally. But really, whats relaxing or pleasant about sitting in your own s**t?

(That said my son does it sometimes, but that's to hide the amount of screen time from me, and who knows maybe get a bit of peace Blush)

NadiaWadia · 04/09/2013 15:31

LIE down

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