AIBU re lack of out of school activities for my 7yo DD?

[Lumpybumpymuma]

My DS is 9 and DD is 7. DS does footy at the weekend (loves it) and DD does swimming lessons one day after school. That's it.

I was talking with a mum this morning and she was saying, about her daughter, L does gym on this day, dance on that day, karate on the other day and athletics club at the weekend etc etc. I have also heard others discussing their dcs equally busy schedule. Thought about this on the walk home from school and now feel I'm letting DD down a bit. I couldn't get her in to brownies as it was full, and she hasn't expressed an interest in anything else. I do try and do things with them - usually simple things, park, local farm, play dates - but now I'm feeling a bit that I might not be pushing encouraging her enough.

On the other hand DS desperately wants to do a cooking class and I can't bloody find one anywhere near us!

Aibu?

You mention the classes that are near you that you would be happy for her to join and see if she shows an interest. It wont do her any harm not doing an out of school club, it is just a nice extra.

When she is at home she is learning to entertaining herself, using her imagination and generally enjoying being a child so there are lots of benefits.

It might be worth trying your local Children's Centre for a cooking class my local one has done short courses on cooking before for parents and children.

Is she on a waiting list for the Brownies - I'm sure they get kids dropping out. (Or cubs... I think they take girls too nowadays).

If you've suggested other things and she's not interested, why push it? You know that nowadays the research suggests that over-scheduling kids with too many extra-curricular activities is really not a good thing? OK for some kids who really enjoy it all but for many it can be simply too much when they should be having time to just mess around, chill out, get bored and therefore find things to do for themselves.

I am a great believer in boredom for children. Just enough so that they are forced into knowing how to spend time with themselves. I think its very important actually for mental wellbeing.

If my dd finds something she wants to do then I will support her but honestly she mostly loves to read and collect caterpillars at the moment and that's fine by me and my purse :)

If i was you, i would suggest a couple of things and see if your dd wants to do them.
If she doesn't, i wouldn't push it tbh.
At 7, swimming is the only thing i would insist on and your dd already does this.

The important thing is that she finds something to be interested in, to make the world seem a fun place. It is not important that this should be a scheduled activity that you have to pay for. People are so narrow in their definitions. When I was her age, my main interests were reading, baking and making up my own stories. They are interests that have stayed with me and given me a great deal of pleasure. But I didn't need any kind of clubs or classes to get on with it. Even cooking is something you can easily teach yourself at home from a recipe book.

I agree with Standautocorrected, swimming is a must if you can afford it.

How are your cookery skills? Can't you do some cookery with your son at home?

As for after school activities for you DD, enjoy the lack of them and concentrate on spending time together and with friends.

I feel a bit sorry for the other child. My dd gets so much homework & jus about has time for that as well as chill out play time. The children at my dds school who do something everyday are always handing in homework late and never get the chance to be out in the fresh air with their friends.

I really wouldn't worry, as long as she is doing the activities she wants to do then you are not letting her down, also they can't always do everything.

My boys are sports mad and want to do every sport under the sun but I only can and wish to let them do so much as they need some free time. I agree re the swimming though, most important one IMO.

It is hard to get the balance with clubs they want to do and free time to just play with friends, I am a bit worried now DS is at Juniors as they get homework every day so we may need to drop some stuff.

I think what you do sounds fine and maybe you could buy her a cookery book for kids then choose a different recipe one night each week for her to make for tea.

for her to make for tea.
him - its her DS who wants to cook! Good for him.

Apart from the swimming - which is a real life-skill and also a prerequisite for any water-based activity - a heck of a lot of the other activities kids are hustled into are not things they're going to carry on with into later life. Music may well be; a few sports such as football - but unless the child develops a real passion for something like dance or karate (which is unlikely to happen if they need cajoling to try it) then really, so long as your kids are getting some form of exercise and opportunities to play with other kids, they don't necessarily have that much value.

Oh, and cooking is obviously a 'life skill' so if you can't find a club you'll have to DIY

Well mine have even stopped swimming lessons since Easter as I was so fed up of literally dragging them there for lessons every week! They can go back when they feel more enthusiastic.

Really if your DD is happy with what she is doing at home then leave her be. I am sure she does plenty of the usual reading/making things/imaginative playing with toys. I also felt like you at one point as my DTDs 'only' went to swimming (and gymnastics on a Sat). But they don't want to do other classes right now. It is fine, I like not having to trail around and we are free to head to the park after school/do some baking/just go out in the garden.

Ha ha sorry, I was reading it that you were worried about DD not doing enough. Same response either way

My 2 are very unenthusiastic about swimming lessons however DS1 was not allowed to stop until he had reached a high enough level and DS2 will have to do the same. It is painful taking them when they moan however the fact that it could save their lives is more important to me when they are moaning. As long as they can swim properly I am happy, neither of them want to swim for a club or anything thank goodness!