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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to think that when there is a schools place crisis perhaps the government should think of ways to reduce birth rates?

647 replies

jellysandwich · 04/09/2013 10:27

In my area (London) there is already a huge shortfall in places because there has been a baby boom. They are constantly opening new schools or creating bulge classes but this is often at the expense of other children who lose their playing fields and there is just not enough room in London to keep opening new schools and there is already a housing crisis because the country is so overcrowded.

I think perhaps it is time the government thought about limiting child related benefits to 2 children (which is the replacement rate) and those that want to have more can do so but not with taxpayers money. It would go some way to stopping some of the problems that rising birthrates create such as the school places crisis, overcrowding, pollution, increasing struggles for resources such as food and water and in an already overpopulated world I think the government is being negligent in not putting some sort of limit on child related benefits, especially when it seems to be counter-intuitive (if you work you don't get more money each time you have another child).

OP posts:
dysfunctionallynormal · 05/09/2013 23:11

MrsDeVere - my first post is still on here. go back and read it. then tell me whether Lt's first response was justified and appropriate.

Lt's first response to mine was "people like (me) shouldn't be allowed to foster/adopt/be a parent" - and all because she disagreed with my opinion. in the same post she also said that i would "spew bile to a child" and it wasn't safe to allow me to care for vulnerable children - that is a personal attack. This post of hers was the first to be deleted. i responded to this post and from there on both our posts started to get deleted - along with a few other peoples. So you see, i didn't start the personal attacks.

having read my responses and knowing the posts had been deleted, she then went on to twist my words and make up rubbish regarding out of work benefits/disability/contraceptive failures - and tried attributing that to me! i never mentioned those things at all. however, i did respond to her trying to put that on me.

i don't need to google Marie Stopes. There is no way they would be allowed to use the term "selfish breeders" as a professional organisation and be allowed to get away with it. tell me, are you pro-choice or anti abortion? because i'm sensing an undercurrent of something else here.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/09/2013 23:13

They do indeed jake. They leave you with something called an under laying entitlement so whilst you get the letter saying your entitled to use carer as a description you will not receive an actual payment.

BuntCadger · 05/09/2013 23:15

I never realised cb was deducted from income support. That's fucking disgusting, :(

Re OP, I think Yabu as this isn't the cure all for the situation.

BuntCadger · 05/09/2013 23:16

What? And for carers allowance Shock I'm stunned

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 23:17

Oh hello again dysfunctionallynormal.

You have mentioned having a social worker several times on this thread.

May I ask why this is?

filee777 · 05/09/2013 23:18

To be honest DN I think she's just trying to be as passive agressive as absolutely possible whilst always missing the point just a little bit (so you know she understands it but has chosen not to) becuse real debate and discussion is not on the table.

As far as certain people are concerned, people should have as many kids as they want regardless of whether they can actually afford them or not and the social should pick up the tab. Anything else is awful and vile and etc etc.

It's tedious to say the least.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/09/2013 23:18

Its correct badger and its not just IS its deducted from

dysfunctionallynormal · 05/09/2013 23:21

eineschlampa - i think some people on here enjoy forming a clique, attributing their own rubbish to other people, get the clique to mass attack those people and then accuse those people of goading.....and they think their behavior isn't obvious! lmao!

JakeBullet · 05/09/2013 23:23

They dont take it all...you get the standard IS, plus an amount on top because a child is disabled then they deduct for income. Carers Allowance is counted as income...as is CB.

So IS might be say £90 a week (figure off top of head) and then it is minus so much for CB and so much gor Carers etc. It usually reduces it by half.

I only have one child, I manage well but it must be hard for families with more than one child.

JakeBullet · 05/09/2013 23:27

I think dysfuntionally is going down the adoption/fostering route Bella.

Dawndonnaagain · 05/09/2013 23:27

MArie Stopes introduced her clinics to stop the 'feckless poor' from breeding. See, you did need to google.
Now that you have come back and so clearly demonstrated your arrogance, I can hie me away to get the four disabled people in this house to bed for at least some of the night.

dysfunctionallynormal · 05/09/2013 23:29

BellaTheGooseIsDead - have you read my previous posts? it is explained in there.

the girl i was referring to was 19 when i met her in 2002. she told me she didn't want to go out to work - or volunteer in the community - and that the gvmnt could not "make" her if she had a child under full time school age. so she made she always another child to replace the one who was starting school full time so she would never have to go on JSA and look for paid employment. her rent/ct/prescriptions etc was all paid for. she was given money to pay for the (subsidised) gas and electric bills, food, clothes,gadgets etc. She had a pretty cushy lifestyle - one that she would not be able to afford if she went out to work and had to pay for these things out of her own pocket. last i knew she had 5 children. that is the kind of person who i think is a "selfish breeder".

twistyfeet · 05/09/2013 23:30

I remember people blithering on about 'the poor' having children for benefits waaaaaaaaaaaay before CTC came in in 2003. I'd had my 4 back then too. Was judged for it too despite DH working.

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 23:31

Thank you Jake. For some reason I thought that perhaps dysfuntionally was incredibly young and a care-leaver herself based on her comments.

Or someone who is in supported living.

morethanpotatoprints · 05/09/2013 23:32

Hello Dysfunctional.

I think you are a bit paranoid. there is no clique that I am aware of in fact I am pretty sure there are several threads where I have strongly disagreed with many of those I have agreed with and supported on this thread.
It was your comments on adoption that got many peoples backs up as they were so at odds with other people who have experienced life as an adopted parent. You upset me and that takes some doing.
There have been several goady comments here, but I think you know this already.

MrsDeVere · 05/09/2013 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 23:35

Subsidised gas and electricity bills? That's a new one and completely untrue.

ODFOD.

You are embarrassing yourself now.

MrsDeVere · 05/09/2013 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/09/2013 23:42

eineschlampa - i think some people on here enjoy forming a clique, attributing their own rubbish to other people, get the clique to mass attack those people and then accuse those people of goading.....and they think their behavior isn't obvious! lmao!

That's quite a paranoid stance to take.

Perhaps you haven't understood the impact a lot of what you have posted has on people perhaps its just a poor choice of words but either unintentionally or intentionally they have resulted in making other people's skin crawl and think WTF.

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 05/09/2013 23:44

Wow, it's like talking to my Dad who owns his own house free and clear and has taken out every penny in equity and more and moans about being impoverished on his state and two private pensions.

He thinks that if you live in social housing (as I do) fuel bills are free but he is seventy and has been looking at retirement flats where if you have a significant asset then yes you can pay nothing in utilities for the rest of your life!

morethanpotatoprints · 05/09/2013 23:59

Hello MrsDeVere,

Thank you for suggesting "Cathy Come Home" I am somewhat an authority on this production, having studied it for bloody years. I have a copy unsurprisingly and it certainly isn't easy viewing.
The irony is when it first showed the BBC switchboard was jammed with complaints about how disgusting it was. This was the society that had condemned Cathy and her children.
When I got mine I paid a fortune as it was out of print but for anybody who is interested the library will get you a copy for a small fee, or you could youtube maybe.

I often wonder if people would show a little more compassion after watching this?

morethanpotatoprints · 06/09/2013 00:07

Dysfunctional

I have reported your last post as you have been asked a number of times not to use the term you used in your last post. It is offensive and upsets people. I am not bothered what you say, but it is a vile term expression.

BellaTheGooseIsDead · 06/09/2013 00:22

Cathy Come Home should be compulsory viewing.

I was adopted as a six week baby. The records say that, "baby is very plain, blonde hair and blue eyes." That was nice to read as an adult and that is all I have. That I was a plain baby. How can a baby be described as ugly?

My adoptive parents were toxic and left me open to abuse from cousins and uncles because I should stop having big breasts and being pretty Confused

merrymouse · 06/09/2013 06:33

I imagine it's been suggested that 'the poor' have babies for benefits ever since benefits were introduced. I suspect there were people complaining that the foundling hospital only encouraged people to have babies 100's of years ago.

JakeBullet · 06/09/2013 06:35

God Bella. That is awful Sad

Dysfunctional. the rules on benefits (specifically Income Support) didn't change until two years ago so your acquaintance in 2002 was wrong if she thought she needed to go back to work the moment a child hit five. ....if it was NOW she would be, but not then.

Gas and electric bills are NOT subsidised if you are on benefits. I can tell you that as I am ON benefits and I pay the same as everyone else for my fuel.

I get free prescriptions etc. but last time I checked there was no "money for gadgets" included in my benefits.

Your acquaintance was SO wrong on a number of things that I cannot help wondering if she is a figment of your imagination.