Men Who Send You pms on Social Media Sites

[LessMissAbs]

Does anyone actually like it? Do they confuse internet forums and Facebook for dating sites? Why do they do it? Does anyone else just find it really, really irritating?

I reckon it must be the time of year. I've recently had ones from some man who claimed he knew me at primary school, telling me all about his son and how difficult it was to meet "partners", some guy in Newcastle I've never met who sent me screeds in response to mine asking "Who is this please?" and even a missed phone call at 6am from him (and who from Facebook quite clearly has a live in girlfriend), some guy from Turkey I bought holiday photos off who told me he "wanted me" and some guy who is a friend of a friend whom I added out of politeness who took to sending me late night pms commenting on some of my photos. All deleted now. My friends have had similar experiences recently.

I am happily married to DH and never given any indication I might be looking for additional male attention!

So sort out the privacy settings on your FB account and make yourself unsearchable.

Why put your number on these sites ?

I'm a teacher, so as I use FB, I have to make sure I'm very careful about what I have on it and who can access it. It's just responsible and sensible behaviour.
Because there are a lot of foolish, nasty and opportunistic people out there who will exploit any weaknesses.

Its a work phone number as I work freelance. I'm quite fussy about who I accept as friends on Facebook and only accept those with at least 3 mutual friends. I just expect people to know how to behave and not treat it like a dating site. Is that too much to ask?

And silverapples I don't want to make myself unsearchable as there are some female friends I was at university and school with, whom I would like to think could find me one day.

I forgot about the forum pms. I'm on a couple of internet forums in addition to mumsnet, and it happens there too.

I'm not searchable on FB and have very high privacy settings. However I do play a form of scrabble with various friends. I sometimes do set up a game or join a game with strangers so was totally shocked when after putting down my first word was basically asked to some rather crude questions obviously as a start to cyber sex!!!

I really cannot imagine why anyone would use a game of scrabble to get their kicks but maybe I've lead a very sheltered life!

silverapples fortunately I'm not in any way vulnerable or weak, and these men seem to be "relatively" normal. Its just that they are obviously using these sites to find women to chat up, flirt with and what else. I just wonder who on earth actually enjoys these exchanges, because presumably they must occasionally have some success, or they wouldn't bother doing it??

Just seems they are trying their luck. I have PMs from old school friends asking similar now and again. I just ignore and they act like it never happened

I ignore too unless they send me a nice cock pic.
Then I immediately strip on web cam.....no I actually feel a bit stabby if they pollute my mind with images of their nob.

I have a nice story about this. My now OH sent me a pm on fb. He wasn't a friend but had been searching for someone with a similar name. He saw my pic and thought "what the hell". He sent me a msg apologising but saying he thought I looked so lovely he wanted to know if I'd like to chat? 3 years later we have our own house, a cat and a baby due in 5ish weeks. However I have to agree that I wouldn't normally like it I think ours was a rare situation!

I know 2 people who got married after meeting on Facebook and 1 person who met a long-term boyfriend.

I think people are braver online than in RL and Facebook is no exception.

I have dated a man through meeting on FB (he went to my school but I didn't know him) - nothing came of it but it was a bit of fun.

Also I chat to 2 men online on PM on FB - it started as fun but one is planning to come and visit me from Derby (miles away) and the other seems to be quite serious about me too - but i'm being very cautious because I don't really know them.
I've been lucky - no crudeness or intimate photos yet.

I haven't got my phone no. on FB because I would get pestered - I think you should be careful about putting personal phone numbers on there!

I'm pretty certain most of these men are married, have live in partners or various women they string along thinking they are girlfriends. I don't want to meet a man off Facebook! Different perhaps if I was single AND if the messages showed any inclination towards being interesting or intelligent, as opposed to the cut and paste what they think appeals to women job. But "hows u, I like your pics, you must be very fit" doesn't really fall into that category. And whats with the late night messaging thing, how rude!

Its a work phone only, which means it doesn't get answered outwith working hours or at weekends, and is easily ignored, and yet there were 4 unanswered messages on it from this guy from Newcastle. I do get work through it and I'm afraid some random from Newcastle isn't worth losing work through or changing my set up for!

I meant to say that it's ok if you're single like me, but when it's obvious that you're married then I don't understand men trying it on (in RL or on FB).

Yes I've had married men i'm not friends with PM me and I ignore it, I think it's really bad.

Am I missing something? How are you getting phonecalls at daft o clock in the morning from people you don't know well off FB?
Even if you HAVE got your work phone number on there for freelance purposes or whatever, how are you getting phone calls from randomers?
Is your wall set to public? If it is, then what do you expect if you've put your phone number onto the internet for absolutely anyone to ring?!

Quite funny, Madam V turning up on this thread. (Tries out Bogie drawl for size: Of all the threads in all the world...) "She"'s a spambot - I've already reported one of her efforts on another thread, might report this one just so MNTowers knows the problem is widespread.

And now you're getting weird messages through Mumsnet too

I don't want to be unsearchable, for the reasons the OP mentioned. I would however prefer not to have an "others" folder full of barely literate approaches

I think I'd rather have messages from Madam V than "Hi hows u?" 17 times in a row. Or alternatively "Hi, hows u? I am attempting to look up some old names from my school days, according to my son its a sign of middle age but i deny that. So, by any chance are you the LessMissAbs who attended XY School. If you are, Hi LessMissAbs, though you will likely not remember me, not many from school do, though my disappearing from the face of the planet for 20 years didn't help that" or similar.

Why don't they just stick to dating sites??

True. Mme V may be a spambot, but it's a reasonably literate one, and doesn't send you pictures of its cock.

Nowhere is safe, mind. I have a very unusual surname, and have had several blokes from my youth hit midlife-crisis-o'clock and e-mail me to "get back in touch" using my work e-mail! Makes for a good sweepstake topic though - how many e-mails before they tell me their wife doesn't understand them.

I get it as well and it is very annoying.
I understand why you have to have your number on fb however would it be better to set up a public work page and have your number on that instead of on your personal site?

I wouldn't put my number on but more because I don't want facebook having it let alone anybody else lol, none of my real info is on there.
It's a nuisance but all I do with such messages is do not respond and block.