urgh moving house and reletives

[screamingskull]

Hi, looking for some advice. I am moving into my mums home after her death a few months back. Brother and I have both been trying to clear out home (4 mths now) both live same town etc.

Obviously as I am moving in I really would love to see things moving a bit quicker (brother moving house too but not got key yet, will have v v soon) so I have been asking repeatedly for help to get things out. Time doesn't suit, or as they work F/T very limited hrs seem to be given to me (I feel).

Anyways he was supposed to be doing o/t last night right after work, but this changed so then informed me "as I am not doing o/t I am going to take my daughter to a game (in another town so about 1 hr travel) therefore I can give you an hr or so"....marvelous thinks I (not). A huge argument then takes place and I am told "I am glad I am not your man, you trying to organise my time".....I for one, am not trying to orgganise any one's time, but do feel as though it was a bit of an unfair decision! AIBU

p.s this has caused a good few arguments about time from both of us so definitely not the first run in.

As one of the posters above suggested, separate the deciding from the getting rid of stuff. Get your brother in to walk around the house with you and agree what each of you wants to keep, and stick labels on those things. (Anything you both want, don't waste time arguing. Tag it maybe a different colour and come back to it later.) This will be much quicker than actually getting the rest out, for which you then don't have to wait on him, just call up some charities and perhaps hire a skip.

If you have to pay money to get things removed that neither of you wants, you split the cost 50-50, e.g the skip. If he wants things stored/shipped to him, he pays that. I had to help in clearing out after a death last year, "only" an uncle and not really a hoarder but even so, we were terribly emotional, it's just not a rational time in one's life! But with your mother dead, your brother and you need each other more not less now.

I definitely agree you can give some stuff away to a recycling charity, they should be able to come and collect the items from you, my partner had to get a sofa removed from his house and he used the council, called them up and said he wanted to get rid of it and they were able to pick it up, otherwise use a removals service or as said above contact a skip company who can help get a lot of rubbish out the house, I've used this skip hire company before when I was having my house renovated, just had the skip on my drive for a few days and was really handy.