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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a squeaky wheel in hospital?

46 replies

SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 04/09/2013 00:09

I am in hospital with broken arm, and had surgery today.

I am a bad patient. Fretful, impatient. Demanding . I am never rude or abusive. I speak respectfully, maybe apologetically. But I cannot sit quietly in discomfort. I also feel claustrophobic and anxious when tied to a bunch of tubes, drips, etc, and all tangled up because they push things around. Like they take blood pressure and so shove bedside table away to pull machine up. Then rush off and leave table with phone and drinking water out of reach. I have to buzz for help with everything. I can't use my right hand. I feel like I am annoying ten. I'd like to be a patient person who can accept nurses are stretched too far. But I get thirsty and then frustrated that I am helpless or whatever.

I just need e everything set up right. Arms reach, nothing crossed or tangled. Tidy. Then I can ask for specific help. I feel bad about it.

OP posts:
Tealteeth · 04/09/2013 00:14

YANBU, not even a little bit. You're not well and other people's thoughtlessness is making it worse.
"It's the wean that whines that gets the tit" as they say! Hope you're better soon.

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:16

I hear you... and I know exactly how you feel honey :( Just keep asking nicely for the help you need.... I do not think you are being unreasonable to ask for things to be set up in a way that you will need to ask less for help!!!!! Hospitals can be a nightmare sometimes... depends on the staff you get..... my heart goes out to you.... here if you need to vent....

McNewPants2013 · 04/09/2013 00:20

Please do buzz if you need anything. I work in a hospital only as a cleaner but I am for ever moving things around for the patients. Always ask nursing staff before I get water.

Trust me it what we get paid for.

Tealteeth · 04/09/2013 00:21

I'd also ask for some heavy duty painkillers and something to get you to sleep. And make any visitors bring earplugs and tasty orders from Waitrose. And keep a stash of nibbles under your pillow. If you have enough opiates you might kid yourself you're having a Mallory Towers Midnight Feast!
Have you got a catheter? If so you can drink loads of fluids with abandon!

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:23

Have they managed to get your pain controlled enough? During the night they usually stop giving you pain meds, so if you have trouble sleeping - the pain might drive you nuts.... are nurses allowed to give out meds to help patients sleep?

Original poster
SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 04/09/2013 00:23

I wish my husband could be here more than 2 hours a day. He can open soft drinks, pick up the dropped phone, brush my hair.

I know he would sit in his own sick before bothering the nurses. He's extremely shy and abhors a scene of any type. I embarrassed him today with nurses and he coped by pulling faces at them, like "see what I have to put up with? Haha..." sort of thing. I caught them doing the faces at one another across the room. I was furious and cried. Queue more patronising faces at the demands of the finicky loud Yank.

OP posts:
holidaysarenice · 04/09/2013 00:26

Learn how to unplug the drip from the wall, and how to attach catheter bag to leg.

Then use left arm to push drip and hey ho off you can go and walk about.

Honestly its a life saver.

Plus get the drip cannula in ur arm not hand if possible, so much more workable.

MrsCakesPremonition · 04/09/2013 00:30

I found that my hatred of being dependent was a big spur to getting myself up and semi-mobile asap - anything to claw back a little bit of control over my environment. Just being able to swing my legs over the edge of the bed so I could reach the table felt like a huge victory.
I hope you feel a bit better tomorrow and that you will be in less pain and have less stuff to get tangled up in, it is all a PITA for the patient but must seem so minor for those looking after us - cheers to a quick recovery Grin.

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:30

Arghhh poor you...HUGE HUG well the shift changes, and new nurses come in, and remember and us girls usually stick together... I'll kick your husband in the nuts for you later... just give me the address ;)
Remember you are the patient. Not him. Try and get comfy and listen the radio or watch tv if you have it...it helps pass the time while you wait for them to help you.... but don't stop asking for help until you are comfortable. I have been in your situation several times... late night at hospital can be emotional :( But us mumsnetters are here for you sweetheart xxxxxxxx

Original poster
SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 04/09/2013 00:30

I am afraid to ask for heavy meds. They may think I'm "drug seeking." They give cocodamal if I ask. Sometimes a syringe of oral morphine. Last night nurse wouldn't turn on the light and squirted it on my chin and neck instead of in my mouth. She just pretended it didn't happen. You're alright love. Only spilled a drop. And left room quickly . I understand why... The dose was gone. It's not like she can get more than the exact alloted dose for the night. A

OP posts:
ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:33

and I agree with holidaysarenice anything you can try for yourself even though they tell you not to touch stuff.. do it... sod them. :)

Original poster
SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 04/09/2013 00:33

Last nurse was great. I explained that I needed everything just so before she left and we put everything right. They are all nice, just rushed. When I explained what I needed and how it meant less buzzing, she was fantastic

OP posts:
ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:34

Drugseeking is fine if you have a broken arm. It's what it's for. And I would complain to the hospital later about the nurse who squirted you with meds in the dark. Thats just awful. More hugs for you.

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:36

I hope you have a good night... have you had proper meds tonight?

Tealteeth · 04/09/2013 00:36

I'm struggling to see the problem in being seen as "drug seeking"! So what???? You're in hospital after surgery! If you can't seek drugs then, when can you??? And the nurse could have got you more morphine but it's a PITA and a load of paperwork so she couldn't be arsed.
Come on. Press that bell now and tell them you're in agony and may wake up everyone else and you need to sleeeep!!!

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:38

Yeah!!! Give em hell ;)

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:40

Want us to come rescue you in a mumsnet tank and headgear? :D

Original poster
SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 04/09/2013 00:40

Yes I got a nerve block during the surgery. Like an epidural in the arm. I was told to get strong pain relief before it wore off. I can feel it fading the ache coming on, so I have just buzzed for the nurse.

OP posts:
ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:43

Tell that nurse if she doesn't squirt those meds right we'll eat her for breakfast!! ;) more sympathy Thanks

Original poster
SoThisIsHowYouNameChange · 04/09/2013 00:44

It has been an issue in the past. I used to have hep c and a bad post code. Nothing incriminating in my notes now, but I am still used to being treated badly. "I need pain relief. Oh, you're just a little sore. How about we sort you some birth control?" That's not an exaggeration.

OP posts:
Tealteeth · 04/09/2013 00:45

Good, good. And whatever she offers, say "is that really the strongest you have? I'm in AGONY!" I found a codydramol washed down with oramorph sorted me out good and proper. None of yer "couple of paracetamol" crap. If you wanted that you could send your husband to the garage!

NoComet · 04/09/2013 00:45

YANBU
I'm awful at hospitals, I discharged my self from the antenatal ward, lied to go home quicker from the postnatal ward and had DD2 at home to avoid the lot of them.

The queues for X-ray and them forgetting DD had dent eaten for hours didn't improve my temper either.

It's really frustrating because when it really matters, in the delivery room and the operating theatre setting arms the NHS is brilliant. But nursing care, outpatients, X-ray, car parking, food, waiting for your green notes, waiting for drugs and miriad other little things drive you totally mad.

I hope you feel better soon and while you are recovering find a couple of clued up nursers to arrange things better.

I too have a very embarresable, won't ask questions, make a fuss DH. They are very frustrating, but lovely.

Tealteeth · 04/09/2013 00:47

Look love, if they can't be arsed to turn the lights on to administer Controlled Drugs, I seriously doubt they've outed over your postcode! Grin
Once you've got them, then say "I'll need the same again in four hours, could you make sure they're available? I don't want to be any trouble." Mwah ha ha.

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:48

Last time I had issues with pain meds... I had two huge absesses in my ass. They had to remove them.. so I had two massive holes were my ass should have been. Literally they were frickin huge. And apparently asking for oramorph when most of your ass is missing is drugseeking. So I had isues with them there. REAL ISSUES. I know doctors get problems all the time with people who take advantage of drugs... but never let that get in the way of your situation. I mean... I had giant holes... In MY ASS.... Yes I need drugs!!! o.O Still makes me angry thinking about it now. One nurse fainted when she took off the dressings it was that horrible. And she decided that maybe I did need the meds. Duh...... o.O

ThePFJ · 04/09/2013 00:50

Also.. I like Tealteeth's plan. It's a good plan ;)

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