...to think this distribution of flexible working hours is unfair

[justwondering72]

Not sure where I stand on this, so thought I would ask the mn jury!

DH works in a job where his hours Barry each year. His manager tries to be as family friendly as he can by meeting individual requests for specific hours / days. What tends to happen is that the mothers ask for Wednesday off (this is a no school day in the country where we live so chosen are at home or need to be Carr got in some way).DH had always worked Wednesdays since he started there. This year his boss asked him if he would like Wednesday after noon off, which DH jumped at do that he could spend more time with our children when they are not in school. But he found out today that he's not getting it -once again all the mothers in the team are getting priority because it I'd assumed that it's their job to

DH feels that flexible working opportunities should be shared fairly among all the staff, irrespective of gender and that the Wednesday

Sorry hit post too soon!

DH feels that the plum Wednesday slot should be shared more fairly among all the staff.

I can see his point - at the same time I feel sympathy for his female colleagues who clearly feel it's their job to arrange the childcare, rather than asking their oh to change his working hours.

So is DH BY? Or is it right that flexible working should prioritise mothers over fathers?

Whether it's reasonable or unfair to some degree depends on the law and culture in your country. I don't think flexible working should prioritise mothers over fathers or vice versa, but I do think it should take account of need and individual circumstances. So if it wasn't possible to give Wednesday off to everyone who requested it, I would prioritise people (of either gender) who had no alternative childcare arrangements for a Wednesday over those (of either gender) who did.

I think it should prioritise parents who need it to care for children over parents who don't.

And sorry for typos, on phone. I don't think MN has an edit post feature?

What is the law of the land where you live? Are there anti-discrimination laws?
I am guessing though that the mothers actively expressed a preference for WEdnesdays off, whereas (from your post it seems) that your DH only said he would like it when his boss asked him.

So because one worker doens't pay for childcare another worker has to miss out on seeing their child and spending family time together. I don't see that as fair, everyone should have to share the wednesday afternoon why should one person never ever get time with his child another group get every wednesday afternoon with their children?

Not fair on the child that always misses out

What generally happens in your country on Wednesdays? Are there children's centres of some sort where school-age children can go, or does everything depend on family or childminders/babysitters?

Imo it should be according to need in situations like this and as such he should have as much right to it as others. However the decision may have been made because of pressing need elsewhere - but if not then Yanbu.

I agree gender shouldn't be the deciding factor. But it sounds like your DH didn't express a preference til asked and you care for dc so no child care issues. In that situation I would prioritise people who had specifically asked for it and who had no other child care