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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think girlfriend has lost the plot

17 replies

MrUFO · 03/09/2013 20:02

Long story so I will try and brake it down.

Been with gf 14 years and have 3 kids, her brother's girlfriend is a proper nut job and they have 1 kid.
First off when they got together about 6 years ago bil came to mine to watch the match, this was the only time he had been out in a year!
Then he's gf phoned me and started giving me lots of abuse on the wishing I would die of a heart attack etc etc even though I only seen her a few time.

My gf was there listening and at no point would she take the phone and say something :( not that I needed too but it would have been nice,

They have went out of the way to cause trouble and recently reported me to the dwp for benefit fraud even though I'm legit, they even owned up to it. Now since they reported me I needed to go for a medical as I claim esa, I told my gf not to tell her mother as I wanted know one to know especially them, day later they know :( I kick off with gf and then find out that the bil "even though he says he sides with us" laughing about that I'm going for a medical and hoping we loose our money. I'm sick of the back stabbing especially from my gf who doesn't realise how I feel about it, she has n9w agreed to be added to his insurance to get the price down even though everyone knows it's the bil bitch gf who owns it and has all the say on what money gets spent on etc.

I feel like I've been kicked in the balls, she hates he's gf yet behind my back is helping them knowing that both of the are jealous of use and want us to have nothing.
We can't seem to go anywhere or on hols without her inviting her mother or step bro even though I have stated don't ask them as I want it just to he us, first thing she does is ask.

Told her in confidence something about my best mate, she then told her mother who told bil who he hates "use to be friends" and it got back to my mate. She just doesn't see that she's done nothing wrong.

Oh and grammar police etc if I've made mistakes tuff

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 03/09/2013 20:05

And you are with her, why?

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 20:07

Yyes, she sounds like she has lost the plot. Ltb

YouTheCat · 03/09/2013 20:07

If she has form for flapping her gums, just don't tell her anything that you don't want spreading around.

CSIJanner · 03/09/2013 20:10

you can't trust her to keep your confidences or back you up, she's lost your trust, her family cause trouble for you, and TBH, you sound worn down from it all. You don't need to be on AIBU. Try POF instead.

scarletforya · 03/09/2013 20:11

Urm, I lost the will to live while reading that, sorry.

ThisCollie · 03/09/2013 20:25

Don't have any decent advice but Bil and his partner don't sound very nice... You should be able to trust your own partner too. I hope you are ok.

FrussoHathor · 03/09/2013 20:31

I think the problem lies with your relationship with your gf.

You might also be baiting gf.

It appears you tell gf, she tells her mum, mum tells bil and bil gf.
This would likely have been apparent even in the early days of your 14yr relationship.
Are you trying to find a reason to get out of your relationship?
The simple answer would be not to share gossip about your friends with gf.

MrUFO · 03/09/2013 20:44

It's more a case of her helping her brother after what he and the bitch have done, Putting her on his insurance is bull it's more like he's used her name and put himself on as a driver, he has history of thieving off the family and using people's addresses so I wouldn't be surprised if he has her down as the owner of the car at his address.

She has saved them around £4/500 on Insurance and I think it's wrong and she was has basically helped the cow have more money pm, As he only taxi's her to and from work and all over the knot end.

OP posts:
SeaSickSal · 03/09/2013 21:31

Phone Jeremy.

FrussoHathor · 03/09/2013 21:48

In struggling to see what they have done. That has wound you up so much.
Or how gf has lost the plot

MrUFO · 03/09/2013 22:05

Might have something to do with her helping her brother and his twat of a girlfriend when they tried to ruin us, She can't stand her yet helps him that directly helps her, I feel as though she is betraying me by helping them, And I know the smug little cow will be buzzing that she has saved money because of her.

It really boils my piss, Our kids play with their kid fine, we talk to the brother but not her and she is barred from her mother's house too.

For the trouble she and him have caused I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

OP posts:
joanofarchitrave · 03/09/2013 22:09

Sounds like you feel very low down in her priority list and quite betrayed by her.

I guess you could never tell her anything you don't want shared, but that isn't much of a relationship Sad

Does she understand how much she has hurt you? or apologised?

Famzilla · 03/09/2013 22:21

As someone who was incredibly controlled by her family for a long time, I can say nothing but good luck.

Until she cuts them off she was always put their happiness above yours, it's not her fault, she's probably just been conditioned to behave like that from a very young age. From my perspective it was always easier to upset my partners, friends etc then it was to deal with the wrath of my family if I didn't do as I was told or kept something from them.

You need to help her see, not shout at her.

Then again, I may be totally projecting.

SweetSeraphim · 03/09/2013 22:22
Confused
Nancy66 · 03/09/2013 22:24

You all sound lovely.

moveonnow · 03/09/2013 22:36

I second phone Jeremy!

Crumbledwalnuts · 03/09/2013 22:38

Twaddle. "Grammar police" was pushing your luck.

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