I don't want to go.

[talulahbelle]

A friend is having a birthday party for her child this afternoon. Whilst it's not going to be thrilling (I have no children yet) I said I would attend and was looking forward to eating some cake with them etc.

I found out yesterday though one of her other guests is a woman I really don't get on with. We were once friends, but she was a bit of a Wendy and said some very hurtful things to me. There's not been a major failing out between us, but we politely ignore each other in public.

The trouble is in any group where she is she will be the chirpy centre of attention, whilst I am normally the silent lemon like one. After the last occasion I decided just to avoid any social events where she was likely to be.

The party this afternoon is small, I just can't face turning up and having so sit by myself with a cup of tea and a smile whilst having no one to talk to. Friend hosting will no doubt be busy with her child (as it should be) but if I cancel now I'll look bad.

Make up an excuse and don't go. As you said, your friend will be busy with her kid and you're not taking any kids, so it's not like you have to be there and waste an afternoon feeling miserable. Say sorry you're not well and make sure you aren't spotted elsewhere.

Unless it is a close friend who would be massively disappointed that you aren't there, I would cancel (though be sure to give her the gift soon). Life is too short to grit your teeth through social engagements, unless you're really letting her down.

If you cancel with something highly contagious you won't look bad, no parent wants their kid to catch something.

I'd cancel & arrange to have coffee with your friend & give her dd the present then

Could you pop in with the gift and a cheerie "so sorry I can't stay but I can have a quick cuppa and wanted to see the birthday child"

Would that work - you could text and say that you are going to be late as something has come up?

I think the main trouble is I saw the friend hosting the party yesterday, so any claim of illness will be obviously untrue.
DH has said he'll come with me though (hooray!) so at least I'll have one person to chat too.

Toothache? Migraine?

I would go. It seens a shame to miss out because of some old bat.
Have a great time and ignore her.

Tummy upset can come on very suddenly.

You are looking a little peaky OP. I think you must be coming down with something.

Hope it's just a 24 hour bug.

Well, I went with DH, had a cuppa, handed over present and watched it being opened. Luckily the cowbag was 30min late, so by the time she arrived I felt I could politely say goodbye. Still a little awkward as there was a lot of cakes etc laid on which obviously I didn't stay to sample, but there were enough other children/family there that leaving early shouldn't have mattered too much. Although friend was obviously surprised (annoyed?) to see me go so soon... ah well.

If you had DH to talk to, had been looking forward to cake and obviously like the company of the host, why did you leave early?
Glad you managed to go without feeling awkward though.

Good for you that you went, OP. Really good.

I can't believe people on here telling you not to go!

How fucking rude and inconsiderate to your friend.

You can sleep well knowing you have done the right thing. And supported your friend. After you had said you would.

(Sorry OP but I can't bear people dropping out of things they've committed too, because there's a bit of a complication/something better has come up etc rude, inconsiderate, and 'me me me')