To start a "moan about Christmas" thread in September?!

[DorisShutt]

Well, I waited this long!

So my moan is not a huge one, but I need to get it out before I scream at people in real life.

PIL live about 8 hours away by car, and FIL is self employed so we don't see as much of them as we'd like. For the past 5 or so years, my DF and step-mum have come to us for Christmas; but this year (as SM Has been winding me up of late) I suggested to DH that either his family come up, or we go down to them. That way we can "break tradition" nicely without hurting feelings.

DH was all for it, but I'm now hitting nothing but obstacles to a lovely (hopefully!) Christmas.

FIL is working Chrismas eve and then the 27th so PIL can't come up - fair enough.

DH is now "not sure" if he can take the time off so we can go down - again, fair enough and entirely reasonable even if he hasn't actually checked!

But... I want to see my PIL and have them see DS at Christmas and not have to spend another Christmas with DF&SM.

Waaaaaahhhhhhh!

Its never too early to moan about Christmas.

Have you put your sprouts on yet?

How refreshing to see someone moan about NOT seeing their PIL. You won't catch me doing that.

Oh no! I luffs my MIL. She takes over looking after DS (but in a respect my rules way) and plies me with wine.

What's not to love?!

Could you go down together but stay for a few extra days while your husband works?

YANBU. I love my ILs, I'd miss them so much if we didn't get to see them

Yes go down and have an extended visit doing nice wintery things while your husband goes back to wirk. Give yourself a break and be pampered by your MIL and you may just be charitable towards your SM & like her too.

Oooh... Mind you, that might be awkward with car seats and the like...

Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Ponders.

OK you've had your dad and step-mother over for the past 5 years.
And this year you want to change the situation. Fair enough.

But are your PIL happy for you to go there (they might have plans and by the sounds of the distance involved, you'd be there for a good few days).

And if you don't want your SM over , let them know in good time. She might just assume that everything will continue as before.

And no, you are not being unreasonable to have a September Christmas moan

My solution to my christmas problem is to sod everyone and oh,ds and i stay at home.ahhhh bliss.

OP YANBU especially when ive seen family tins of chocs, xmas cards and advent calandars in the shops already.

I fully expect to see christmas puddings and alcohol gift sets on the shelves when i go up this week.

I'd say YANBU to have a premature yuletide moan, but then I am the person who was listening to Christmas music in August and discussing celebration plans with a group of friends last week...

I have no actual, useful advice though

Oh, it's not they don't want to see us at least I hope it's not! - they just can't come up and DH is being well, DH, about going down and taking time off work.

Surely the first step is to tell your dad and step mum you are going to PILs this year, so effectively cancel spending it with them, giving them time to get themselves organised with alternative plans (leave it too late into autumn and it looks like you are cancelling on them). If closer to the date it turns out your DH can't get the time off, then oh dear, you are on your own. But leave that to being a last minute thing, get your dad cancelled before October!

Also, Monday, your dh puts in a holiday request for Christmas eve and friday 27th (you can travel back on the weekend) or could he work from home at your pil home on 27th?

Ah, the issue with DF&SM is that they live between this country and abroad, but are coming over here to spend time with us at Christmas and friends for New Year.

If we cancel Christmas, and then do the "oops silly us" thing, they live close enough in this country to just pop up... and it all starts again. And we can't lie as they'll want to Skype to see DS on Christmas Day.

I've tasked DH with trying to sort work out this week or next so I know what's happening and can psyche myself up if required.

Ah Heston's Christmas Pud mmm. Sorry no helpful advice but Yanbu to talk about Christmas when you have just reminded me to keep a lookout for Heston's Pud because greedy people snaffle them if I'm not quick enough.

Quick update!

BIL and I have got our heads together and agreed that he is coming up for Christmas; and he and DH will apply subtle pressure to PIL for them to come up too (in a nice non-guilt tripping way and not a pushy DIL way!)

I've spoken to my dad and played the "PIL haven't ever seen DS at Christmas so I feel obliged etc etc" card complete with a sad voice.

So it looks like I might get my chilled out Christmas!!! Yay!!!

Yay! Tradition broken!