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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the whole "phasing in" thing at school is just a PITA!

292 replies

Maggietess · 01/09/2013 12:14

DD2 starts school tomorrow, the equivalent of reception class. We have first day she stays for an hour with mum or dad (great idea). Rest of this week shes in for 2 1/2 hours a day (OK I'm still with the idea in general).

Then some more kids start next week so we've another week of in til 1130.
Then the week after its 1230.
Then finally in the 4th week it's full day til 2.

And this is the improved version of settling in, it used to take nearly til halloween to get them all in with a couple of kids starting every day.

I can understand the teachers needing a couple of days, even a week to properly get to know everyone but is 3 full weeks of it not a bit ott???

They then repeat a slightly shortened version of this in P1.

Add to that that our junior school finishes at 2 and senior school at 3 and you have some parents doing collections at 12.30, 2 and 3. Total pita.

Surely its all just a bit unnecessary given that most kids these days will have been at some form of nursery before??

Or AIBtotallyU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Maggietess · 01/09/2013 22:13

I've just thought of a business idea to support me on my career break.... Crystal ball for couples thinking about conceiving to check if they're going to be up to scratch in years to come!!

Any takers??!! ... Fiver for you lovely lot on my thread Grin

OP posts:
AnotherWorld · 01/09/2013 22:13

I've had two go in through these short hours. Both are summer born so towards the youngest in the school year. It's a pain yes - but it's a short term thing and I support the need to settle them in gradually.

Our school has a sensible approach and will work flexibly with parents.

But I have to point out - whilst trying not to goad a reaction - that you KNEW your child would start school now. And have known for 4-5 years so have had plenty of time to sort something out. It's a once in a lifetime event for them.

hettienne · 01/09/2013 22:16

Knowing that your child will start school and knowing whether or not the school will do a long settling in period and what form it will take is not the same thing, is it?

jessieagain · 01/09/2013 22:17

I think it is too long. 1-2 weeks max is all that would be needed imo.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 01/09/2013 22:18

Yes we knew that they would start school. But that dies t change the fact that circumstances can suddenly change and what would have been no big deal suddenly becomes extremely difficult. When dd started school, the results came out in April. The second round results came out weeks later. Between sending back acceptance letters and half terms it was actually quite a while before we knew timings etc. it was ok first time around , we coped but second time around is going to be extremely hard.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 01/09/2013 22:19

Doesn't

Xmasbaby11 · 01/09/2013 22:19

That sounds impossible! How on earth do working parents deal with that? Presumably you have to hire a childminder just to drive your kids around? I am so dreading that stage!

AnotherWorld · 01/09/2013 22:20

True for first timers who don't know anyone with school age children (this was me when DD started school)

But for the repeat customers complaining upthread - they'd have an inkling wouldn't they?

ModeratelyObvious · 01/09/2013 22:20

AnotherWorld, when the current crop of infant school children was born, there was a September intake and a January intake. My day care arrangements were fine for that as I just had to give a month's notice, so a January full time start was absolutely fine.

Whaddya know, education policy changed in five years. Well, huh.

NiceTabard · 01/09/2013 22:21

maggie think ahead.

If you think you might struggle to foot the university bills, then it will be much more comfortable for you to put them back in now, than when they are 18!

SuffolkNWhat · 01/09/2013 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnotherWorld · 01/09/2013 22:23

Not here there wasn't

Nothing has changed here since DD started 5 years ago? Variation in areas maybe?

nonameslefttouse · 01/09/2013 22:24

When ds started school he had two half days including one lunch prior to the end of school then one week of mornings and one week of afternoons, this really unsettled him as he was used to full days so it just messed up routine, the same as most kids in his class I'm sorry I really didn't see the point in it.

I do believe this will be the case when dd starts next September, she turns 4 tomorrow and already could handle school she'll be 5 when she starts I dont think it will help her at all.

All children receive 15 hrs pre-school some are even eligible to more, children do have this opportunity to socialise if private nursery is out of the question.

Schools should consider working parents, nothing to do with free child care etc, because a) it's not free for all my dh and I pay substantial amounts of tax to fund education b) times have changed substantial amounts of households do not have a sahp

hettienne · 01/09/2013 22:25

AnotherWorld - even if you know that there will be this prolonged phasing in, it doesn't make it easy to deal with does it? Few parents can take weeks off work, it is hard to find nurseries and childminders to fill in, it's unsettling for children to have new childcare for just a couple of weeks etc.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 01/09/2013 22:25

And your forgetting employment. Is someone really meant to not take a job because a school they don't even know their kid will attend yet has an awkward settling in time ? When the alternative is loosing your home or the benefits you receive?

Quenelle · 01/09/2013 22:26

DS starts reception this year and there are NO classes until Monday the 16th due to home visits. Then half the class does a week of afternoons only while the other does mornings only, then they swap the following week. The whole class goes full time from the 30th. We both work so DS will have to go back to pre school for two weeks, without the 15 funded hours though. Then DH and I will take a week of half days each. We didn't find this out until mid July, so had already booked up our annual leave, not knowing we had another four weeks to cover after the six week summer holiday.

It's a complete pain in the arse tbh.

SHarri13 · 01/09/2013 22:26

At my sons school they go full time from day 1. I think it works well for them an what they've experimented with.

The other two local schools are part time (morning or afternoon) until after Christmas!!!

Original poster
Maggietess · 01/09/2013 22:27

anotherworld I totally agree I knew it was coming... But point of this thread was to try and explore why it was (or even if it was) necessary, what is the ratio already behind it and have other people the same experiences settling in.

Nicetabard ouch hadn't thought of that. We're tall and in my case of ahem big bone structure folk in this family, that would definitely hurt.... DH is holding me back from rushing upstairs to give it a go now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maggietess · 01/09/2013 22:29

*rationale not ratio... Darn fat fingers small phone scenario..

OP posts:
AcrylicPlexiglass · 01/09/2013 22:35

How does knowing when your child is due to start school help?

  1. You don't know which school you will get and or what their policies are.

2 even if/ when you do know 1, if you work and are single or with a partner who works too, your only options are take time off, rely on local family or friends, employ local childminder for 2 - 6 weeks. None of these are ideal for most people. For us family are too far away, all local friends work, childminders are like golddust. Annual leave is our only option. It will be lovely to be around and see our daughter settle into big school but as we have every confidence she will be fine we are sad that it will mean less time together as a family in the holidays.

NiceTabard · 01/09/2013 22:37

Another world it's not to to with areas, around here each school sets their own policies wrt settling and and so on. And of course the governers / whoever makes the decisions can change them whenever they see fit.

AnotherWorld · 01/09/2013 22:38

Like I said previously our school is sensible about it. They take into account only the needs of the child. Some children are ready for full time school at an earlier age than others. All children are different and will react differently so they plan for the worst case and you should too.

It's very different in most cases to preschool, usually with more children per adult. They may not know anyone. Or any of the little things like where is the loo, or how can I get a drink. This phasing in with smaller groups lets them get to know these things in a smaller environment so when they're in with the full class of 30 they know the basics.

I can't imagine a worse situation - for the child - than putting a child who's not ready into full time school from day 1 purely because the parents need to be elsewhere.

That said it will be a challenge to manage so plan for it ahead - take heed parents for next year and beyond.

NiceTabard · 01/09/2013 22:39

Acrylic there is also parental leave. I think that stops at 5 though and I don't know what happens with that with children who turn 5 at the beginning of september it might not be available.

With that obviously it's unpaid and also dependent on how your employer is.

NiceTabard · 01/09/2013 22:41

I just checked parental leave and it's up to the child's 5th birthday so if you have a child with a sept (or even oct) birthday that won't do you any good for settling in.

NiceTabard · 01/09/2013 22:43

Anotherworld many schools don't do the phasing thing. That is not part of their settling in process.

Like no schools around here do home visits. Sounds bizarre to me! But still.

Every school is different, no point thinking that what goes on at one / in one area is how it is across the board.

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