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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have called the police over noise from neighbours last night (child sobbing)

16 replies

directoroflegacy · 01/09/2013 11:01

So last night I ended up calling 999 over the noises me & dh heard (note we didn't SEE anything)
Even though we had the back door shut and the TV on we could hear mum from 3 doors down shouting / screaming - not in English (this is important later) and a child sobbing and shouting "no".
It was 11.10 pm.
DH went outside into the garden (her house is 3 doors away), the noise continued, I went upstairs to see if I could see anything (from our bedroom window we can see their garden).
I couldn't see anything.
I came down and DH said he could also hear "smacking/hitting".
So I called 999 - as I did the shouting stopped as they had closed their back door.
The police turned up within 10 minutes - a van and a car and 4 policemen. They parked outside our house and we pointed them in the right direction.
Less than 5 minutes later they came back laughing and one of them explained that what we had heard was a "sleepover with a few children " and a "little party" so yes it was a bit chaotic - 2 of the children were "quite badly disabled" (his words) and so were making "some noise" & mum said that they didn't want to go to go bed.
They couldn't see any visible injuries on the children & had asked the children if they were ok and the children had all given a thumbs up.
I said well thanks for coming out so quickly (or words to that effect) but it didn't sound like any party / sleepover I knew.

So now I feel like an idiot/demented nosey neighbour who calls the police over some poor, tired mum who was shouting at the child to go to bed/sleep (as I do alot at my own!) and as it wasn't in English I didn't realise)
But...

  • it didn't SOUND like that.
  • We have heard shouting from this house before (not like last night though) & the children are often up late playing in their garden(midnight)
  • WHY was the mum shouting at them to go to bed earlier last night especially if there was a party going on??

Am I overthinking this?
AIBU for wanting to know if there is something else I could/should do - apart from keping an 'ear open'

OP posts:
FrigginRexManningDay · 01/09/2013 11:07

Sometimes I'd say something silly in a really loud stern voice when playing a game with my kids. If someone didn't understand English or Irish then I would sound like I'm killing my kids as they would shout no and scream as part of the game. You don't know what was said. She could have been saying you're not getting any more sweets and a tired excited child sobbing.

Pozzled · 01/09/2013 11:07

YWNBU. I can understand why you were so worried. I don't think there is anything else you can do though. I do think the explanation doesn't seem to quite match the noises you heard. Did you hear more than one child?

BeenFluffy · 01/09/2013 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HebeJeeby · 01/09/2013 11:09

I think you did the right thing, better to be safe than sorry. Imagine how you would feel if you had done nothing and then found out later that your fears were justified. x

hermioneweasley · 01/09/2013 11:13

You did the right thing. Either way the kids (and their parents) know that someone is watching out for the kids.

kali110 · 01/09/2013 11:15

Can understand why you did it, but you cant be certain what was going on especially as you couldnt understand the language.
Sometimes disabled children are loud partically if they cant get out what theyre trying to say.
You can always keep an ear open incase of worst case scenarios but wouldnt worry as clearly the police dont think there is anything to worry about.

Original poster
directoroflegacy · 01/09/2013 11:16

Yes, that is what I thought better safe than sorry.

But now I'm going to end up on that annual list they publish of crazy reasons people dial 999 aren't I!

  1. wrong topping on pizza
  2. next doors children won't go to bed (me)

It sounded as if it was the same child - there were more than 1 child in the house.

I shout at my children loudly and alot (too much as they usually ignore me!) and would be horrified if the police turned up on my doorstep as a neighbour had called them out. But it didn't sound like that.

OP posts:
ImATotJeSuisUneTot · 01/09/2013 11:18

I actually think the police were wrong to laugh. They've made it pretty likely that you won't call again.

insancerre · 01/09/2013 11:20

no you did the right thing
it doesn't matter that it was nothing to worry about
the important thing was that you didn't ignore and you did something
plenty of people ignore things like that and don't get involved
surely it is better to get involed, even if it was false alarm, than to just ignore because you might have got it wrong?
what if it was genuine case of a child being assualted and nobody did anything?
you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself, I know I wouldn't

Original poster
directoroflegacy · 01/09/2013 11:21

I'matot - yes that is exactly what I said to my DH

p.s. Thanks, I have now got that bloody song going round in my head!

OP posts:
Hawkmoth · 01/09/2013 11:21

No advice but an advert for missionaries to Asia? What the fuck?

Turniptwirl · 01/09/2013 11:24

I think you did the right thing to call, but should not just be relieved you had the situation wrong and the kids were ok

Original poster
directoroflegacy · 01/09/2013 11:27

Turniptwirl YES!! I'd definitely rather look like an idiot / nosey neighbour etc rather than a child actually being hurt.

OP posts:
UnexpectedStepmum · 01/09/2013 11:35

You did the right thing. And although the police officers who attended last night took it lightly, they are beat bobbies and not necessarily experienced in this area. However they now complete a report called a Merlin on the incident so if there are further concerns reported there is evidence that it's come up before. Depending on the local authority there may well be follow up after this first Merlin anyway. Maybe it was nothing, or maybe you raised a concern about children at risk. At least you didn't grumble and ignore.

Birdsgottafly · 01/09/2013 11:37

You did the right thing.

In two recent cases of children starving to death, one of the explanations given is that the families were not from the UK, so people who had suspicions, didn't get involved, as they wasn't sure what was actually happening, better to make sure that a child is safe.

There is no need to try to think why one night a child is up and the next night the parents want it to go to sleep (although because a different language is spoken, you don't know what is going on).

My DD has ADHD (now 27), she slept for four hours a night until she went on Ritalin, i had endless comments by neighbors, she can now stay up for two days, without being tired.

It might be that there is asleep over and a day out planned for a Birthday.

The hitting noises may have been part of a game, or mischief, children vary in their play and especially culturally. Some cultures sound very blunt and harsh, just in normal conversations. You honestly don't know what you heard, so was right if you felt a child was at risk.

jellajello · 01/09/2013 11:45

Yes I agree you were right to do something - you can always ask the police to do a Welfare Check if you think children are not being looked after, or the parents are very drunk in charge or something. And soft evidence like this is useful if something comes up again, as is an entry on the Merlin database mentioned earlier.

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