If I order coffee with hot milk, aibu not to want

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half a mug full of "foam"? That is lukewarm at best?
And was I being even more unreasonable to spoon the offending foam out of the mug and onto the saucer?

At Schloss PP I put about 75ml of milk into a mug and heat it for 1 minute. I then put it under the spouts of my coffee machine, select Coffee, strong, 150 ml and my machine grinds the beans and delivers exactly 150 ml of strong coffee. Quick stir with a spoon and that is it.
If I am feeling especially daring I may add a cube of brown sugar.

YANBU

I get angered when I go in to a coffee shop and order my Americano. I always get asked if I want milk or cream. In my mind I'm saying 'an Americano is a black coffee you idiot!' but my mouth just says a meek 'no thanks'. Winds me up every time - I told my mum of my annoyance and she now gets annoyed on my behalf if she ever orders our drinks.

My favourite coffee is a cafe con leche in Spain. They really know how to do it.

If you can't get a flat white, ask for an Americano with hot milk on the side.

I think you wbu not to be assertive enough to take it back and ask them to do it again!

It is perfectly legit to ask if you want milk with an Americano! Otherwise, what do you think the white coffee drinkers actually drink if they don't want a cappuccino or a latte?

I cannot take something back if I am sitting in the breakfast room. I knew that I would probably not get what I asked for, so didn't have high expectations. Once I had excavated for the coffee, it was ok.
I will get a feedback e-mail at some point, so may comment there as there are a number of small gripes this visit.

So a normal coffee is an Americano? I never realised just ordering a coffee was so difficult. I'm sure if I went to the local cafe down the road (greasy spoon, it's great) and asked for a coffee I'd get a normal coffee. Except I wouldn't as I drink tea.

I cannot take something back if I am sitting in the breakfast room.

Why?

You can ask for a different one, if it is the breakfast room, surely.

so what is the difference between a latte and a flat white then?
cos in my local cafe they both look and taste exactly the same
I hate frothy coffee, so ask for a flat white- i had them in new zealand and they were just what i wanted but in this country a flat white just seems to be the same as a latte
if i want a coffee with no froth then I ask for an americano with milk
I do miss old style coffee that was just coffee and milk, none of this foam stuff

Frothers can make flat-non frothy milk you just have to know how to use them. In some places normal black coffee is either an americano or filter.

But an americano has hot water added to the espresso - what you want in an espresso in a large cup and a jug of hot milk

It sounds like OP wants brewed coffee with hot milk. Not all coffee is espresso, and I wouldn't want a large cup of espresso.

Yes, ananikifo, that us exactly what I want!
I am also willing to bet that if I asked for a cappuchino I would get almost the same.

Password I have no advice but lots of sympathy. Normal coffee with milk is all I ever want.

I think:

Espresso = tiny cup, black, one or more shots

Macchiato = espresso with a splash of milk, tiny cup

Coffee = ground beans, filtered/brewed/percolated, with (flat white) or without milk. Normal coffee cup.

Americano = espresso shot with hot water added. Can add milk. Normal coffee cup.

Cappucino = espresso shot plus frothed up milk. Normal coffee cup, half froth.

Latte = espresso shot in hot milk. No froth. Normal coffee cup.

Tea= drink of the Gods.

This annoys me.

Ten years ago, maybe even five, if you went into a normal cafe (not a chain), 'coffee with hot milk' would get you a filter coffee with a little jug of hot milk.

If you wanted a latte/whatever you'd ask for it!

InYourFace
that is very helpful, thank you. I will use those definitions to compare to what is available where I am.

Flat white is still hot milk over espresso, it's not just coffee with milk. Less milk to coffee than a latte, not sure on the finer details beyond that

Hmm, so the concensus appears to be that ordinary ground & brewed coffe with hot milk doesn't exist anymore. You can either have highly-charged espresso or hot milk-heavy coffee.
IMHO espresso diluted with hot water does not taste the same as black coffee.

A flat white is a milky coffee made with frothed milk - tiny bubbles give it a sort of silky texture.

What you want is, if we're using the antiodean names, a long black with hot milk. Aka an Americano with hot milk! Or just ask for a "regular coffee with hot milk, NOT foamy" surely that will get your message across!

Flat white isn't frothed milk, its heated so it has bit of air in to give it a creamy texture.
If op doesnt want a milky drink then no an espresso in a big cup with milk is a weaker latte!
If you want normal coffee with milk just ask for an americano or filter with milk on the side.
If you want strong but milk based coffee then flat white is very nice, however it does depend where you order as some iv had have been very frothy, lucky i quite like froth!

I share your pain op when you ask for a drink and dont get what you want. I like frothy drinks and hate when i get bloody flat milky ones

I'm surprised you can't get a normal Milchkaffee, most places I know do it and there's never any foam in sight.
I love Milchkaffee; it makes such a nice change to all those bloody cappucinos.

Think a lot of the problems is that different coffee shops do drinks differently, ie starbucks macchiato is big when everywherelse its shot of coffee with small layer of foam. Havent the foggiest wtf starbucks but in theirs....

Now I'm craving a flat white...

Latte = One shot of coffee topped with slightly frothy milk top. More milky in flavour.

Flat white = Double shot of coffee topped with a tight foamed milk top. Not frothy.

White Americano = Double shot of coffee plus hot water and hot milk.

Well this is what I was taught when I worked in hospitality.