To say "no thank you" to a newborn photo shoot?

[Soupqueen]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant with DC1, who will be the first grandchild on both sides. Prospective grandparents all very excited.

FiL is a lovely, kind man but doesn't always think things through - he also has very set views on everything and can't understand others seeing things differently.

He has decided that he is going to pay for a newborn photo shoot for DH and I's Christmas present. At 5-10 days old. I have no idea what shape any of us will be in at 5-10 days post birth and really don't want to commit to this. He's insistent that he wants to pay the deposit now and get it booked in (not sure how as we have no idea when this baby will actually arrive!)

We also really dislike these photos, they're not to our taste. We're not studio photo people, don't have any wedding photos displayed etc. I don't mind doing some photos for him, but suspect that they'll expect to see these photos proudly displayed on our walls. How do you tell someone that something isn't to your taste, without sounding like you're criticising their taste?

Just typing this out makes me realise how petty this is, I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I can't sleep and so my mind is dwelling.

WIBU to say "thanks, but no thanks" or just suck it up for a quiet life?

at being planted in a pot.

I think the photographer rather enjoying having a giggly child who'd let her use all her props too.

taken*

Those photos are truly hideous .... shudders

Just tell him if there is a chance you go 2 weeks over the baby may not even be born for the photo shoot and you have no idea how everyone will be health wise. It's not unheard of to be kept in post birth for a week or more.

It's just not practical to plan such a thing. Ask him to wait and book a few months or even weeks after.

A firm no. What a shame that you are feeling under such pressure! Agree that your DH should be dealing with this.

And on a personal note I detest all those photos of tiny babies being contorted into totally un-natural poses and being made to wear ridiculous bows, headbands, glasses(?!). Nothing wrong with a sweet, babe-in-arms or asleep but being propped up on its elbows?! How can people do that to their brand new baby? Leave the poor little blighters alone!

Yyy to hating the posed newborn pictures. I think they're ghastly.

DH is going to call his father this afternoon to politely turn it down and suggest a photo shoot when the baby is older instead.

I'm not in London (Edinburgh), but thanks for the offer.

Thanks all.

ilivebytheriver

The elbow photos are composites. So they are being supported although it doesn't look like it when the photos are finished.

I don't like them either. They just look uncomfortable and I wanted photos of my baby how they are, like laying down.

I would say thank you, let him pay the deposit and have the photos whenever you want, you don't even have to be in them if you don't want and most photographers will listen to you if you want informal photos. Take some cuddly toys along and try to get some laughter out of it.

can I just say that in every family there are power struggles and when there's a big change roles and rules shift too.

you need to put your foot down now and not let your PILs be controlling.
I believe it was a totally harmless and generous offer from him, but there will be many more to come and inevitably and some behaviour will be aimed at them trying to control you.
most of this is not a conscious decision (unless they are horrible people) but nevertheless you need to plant the seed in their minds that you and your DH are the boss of your new family unit.

trust me, once you let go of control and let others take over it is not always easy to get it back.

most of this propably sound a bit bitter - but if you think about any relationship there's not one where people don't do the power/control/strategic "games".
it is just basic human behaviour.

so be sharp about it.

I'm currently six days after a straightforward c section....no way would I be going out to a photo shot. Today is the first i've felt almost human but I still am not able to stand about etc for too long.