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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

dh is at the pub

17 replies

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 17:29

He took us out for lunch with our mutual friends, and then dd and I left them to a couple of beers and went home, as she is still getting over the tail end of a virus and is still not quite her usual self.
We went to lunch at 12.30 and I've just had a text saying he'll be back at half eight.
I wouldn't normally mind, but I've just found out my drugs for my kidney disease haven't worked and I need to double my chemo dose, which has left me feeling pretty low. Also, I'm taking a large dose of steroids and they always make me emotional and bad tempered.
So I know he needs to spend time with mates, and he hasn't seen this guy for ages. But eight hours in the pub? Really? I can't drink because of my medication and he's going to be stupidly drunk when he comes in.
I'm tempted to put dd in the car and escape to my dads for the night, but I suspect I'm overreacting massively (see earlier steroid comment).

Thoughts please.......

OP posts:

cushtie335 · 31/08/2013 17:33

Sorry your health is not good and I can understand why you feel a bit abandoned. However, if your DH needs a bit of space and to feel "normal" with a mate for a few hours and is enjoying himself in the pub then I think you could cut him a bit of slack.

I hope he's not too pished when he comes in, that would set my teeth on edge too. Just put him out of your head for tonight and try and have some fun with your DD.

I hope you feel better soon.

Original poster

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 17:36

THanks. THat is exactly what my rational brain says. My steroid brain, on the other hand, says GGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

OP posts:

cushtie335 · 31/08/2013 17:38

I have a teeny tiny understanding of it as my niece had to use steroids for a condition and it knocked her doolally on occasion.

Have a good night Grumpy. I sincerely wish you all the best.

thebody · 31/08/2013 17:40

oh poor you. yes put a DVD on and cuddle with dd. leave him to have a drink with mate.

wibblyjelly · 31/08/2013 17:41

I understand how you feel, but think you should leave him to it. Try and enjoy the 'you' time, maybe a nice relaxing bath?

WhoNickedMyName · 31/08/2013 17:44

This kind of thing wouldn't bother me. I think YABU but I understand why.

Original poster

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 17:45

I know. Thanks for all the logical thought. It's honestly like living in my brain with a stranger at the moment. A very odd one!

OP posts:

Andro · 31/08/2013 17:54

Steroids can send the most rational person crazy - my MIL said I should drug my flight phobic DS for ~24 hours so that he could go to Australia and was vile about it to me...later turned out that she had been prescribed steroids and had reacted them.

YABU, but it's a medically induced U so not your fault. Is there is program/cd/dvd that he would hate and you'd love? Time to take advantage of his absence imo.

Original poster

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 17:56

Mwahaha. I was more thinking I could put on the programme that he'd hate AFTER he got home
I am currently watching an Ice Age epic with dd. Again.

OP posts:

Whereisegg · 31/08/2013 18:32

I think the best thing to do, is be an absolute sweetie about him being in the pub for 8 hours, gush about how you hope he had a lovely time, make him a snack etc etc.

Then tomorrow morning when he's up and feeling rough, announce that you are off out for a few hours today and you know he won't mind as adult time is so important, surround dd with her noisiest electronic toys, and leave.

utreas · 31/08/2013 18:58

I don't see the issue, surely you leave him to look after your daughter and go out also.

Original poster

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 19:42

Going out doesn't tend to happen at the moment, I can't drink on my medication and our social life has always involved a fair amount of alcohol so I am quite literally a fish out of water these days!
I see people during the day but tend to take dd with me as dh is at work (teacher on sumer holidays). Last time I went out in the evening was about two months ago
I know I am making trouble for myself, but it really is the drugs speaking- I'm an absolute loon on steroids!

OP posts:

Whereisegg · 31/08/2013 20:05

Well you won't have to take her tomorrow as it is a Sunday...

Bowlersarm · 31/08/2013 20:09

Oh poor you. Don't rush off anywhere though, that is an over reaction, which he doesn't deserve.

Original poster

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 20:10

Tomorrow I am going to a spa for a massage! I can't let off steam with a large gin or two, so why not? I have just booked it on a whim, so I can get some much needed time. .
Marvellous

OP posts:

Original poster

GrumpyKat · 31/08/2013 20:11

And I haven't run off- I feel ridiculously zen now, which is the other side of the wierdo steroid coin.

OP posts:

Therealamandaclarke · 31/08/2013 20:16

I hope you feel better soon.
YANBU really. I can't drink because of ebf (plus 2 small DCs to look after) when DH has a skinful I want to bludgeon him to death with the bottle.

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